My Boyfriend Works On Rigs, I Found Out The First Time He Dated He Cheated The Whole Time

I met him online, he was newly seperated in process of divorce after a long 7 yr relationship/marriage with a woman who cheated on him and treated him horribly. I met him online and we didnt plan on being so serious but we clicked. We ended up dating for 4-5 months and everything was great until I got mad at something and he left me. I think he was trying to find a way out because he wasnt ready for anything serious..well he kept in touch every coouple months for 6 months and dated and did his thing and ended up calling me and we worked things out. Well after a few months we decided since he is gone a lot and we are always together we would live together since his home was far. I was helping him pack while hes gone and found a phone in a drawer and it gave me the 'gut' feeling. I charged it and looked and saw pics of naked women and texts from women and him replying to meet at the same hotel as last time. The entire time we were together the first time. I was hurt. He apologized and said he loved me and didnt tell me he did it because he didnt want to ruin what we had this time. He swore he isnt like that but wasnt ready for anything serious but didnt want to lose me and didnt know how to tell me. I was always the girl that said NO second chances if someone cheats and quickly learned..Never say never. Well now Im having major trust issues because he is working still on the rig although looking for something thats at home.I love him but get a 'gut' feeling and although thats been wrong in the past with others because Im scared of getting hurt. I dont know what to do. We fight a lot because we are both hard headed but I love him a lot and I know he does me. He makes plenty of money if he wanted to move out he would...Not like he needs to save money or anything. My daughter loves him a lot. What are your thoughts. Ask questions if needed. Hard to explain it all. Let me also add his ex wife was texting him at 1-2 am in the mornings at time asking if he is awake. He would show me and I emailed her on FB and no reply. At least he was open with me. He blocked her # and changed his #. This was after I asked him multiple times because I was sick of it. Besides the house they had he just sold they had NO ties together. Ive caught him in 1-2 more small lies before. Nothing big. But ugh! 
Alexandriaddavis Alexandriaddavis
26-30, F
1 Response Sep 17, 2012

Trust issues are very difficult to get over once the boundaries have been crossed. I have chosen to forgive in the past, only to be bitten again. I am not suggesting anything regarding what you should do, rather explaining that this type of situation can be very difficult. As you already realize, being the victim can definitely have an effect on your own emotional well-being as well as your self-esteem. You may become weak and vulnerable, and it can cause you to lose passion for many areas of your life.

Be strong, and calmly think about your options as well as your wishes.

Take care