At A Loss Of What To Do

I have known my boyfriend for 10yrs n been in a relationship with him for the past 2yrs. It has been 6 days since I found out he was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend. I found out he has been going over to her house 4 times a month for the past 7 months during this time she was pregnate and gave birth to her ex boyfriends baby. He seems to be extremely sorry about his actions telling me it was all a stupid mistake and that he loves me he was even crying. I just wish I knew what to do.
tiapain tiapain
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 23, 2012

You've known this guys for 10years, wich is ALOT. And 2 years of dating isnt little either. But the damage has been done. He cheated on you. If i were you, i would imediatly stop. I know its easier said than done, but the truth is, if he cheated on you once, he might do it again. You deserve someone who truly loves you and will never cheat on you. Dont waste your time with someone who makes such mistakes real easy. For yout own good, don't continue. Find distraction and just leave him.

Thank you for your kind words, I always told myself that if he ever cheated on me I would leave, I would never look back. I'm just finding that so hard to do right now. He is saying and doing all the right things that remind about why love him so much. He tells me that he his is sorry for hurting me like he did. That he wanted to tell me but just didn't know how. He promises that he will never do anything like that again. He keeps telling me that he will do anything to prove to me that he loves me. He even said can bug his phone and put a tracking device in his car. He mistaking me on a romantic weekend away. I feel like I should leave he is just makin it harder.

I can understand your feelings. Leaving just like that isn't easy, especially if he is really trying his best to convince you that he'll never do it again. But i know you'll work it out. I know you can do the right thing. My friend went through a similliar thing. She had a long distance relationship of 6 years, visited him every holiday. Then one day, she went over to his place again. He gave her some expensive gifts and when she returned, he broke up with her. Saying the gifts are a sign of how much he appreciates her. And during this whole time, he cheated on her multiple times, hurting her, but she eventually forgave him. Even though my friend and i told her multiple times not to continue this relationship, because he cheated and someday, he'll prob cheat again. She said she couldn't because she loved him, so much that she would overlook the cheating (multiple times) . Eventually he dumped her just like that, hurting her so much. She felt like the 6 years was just a total waste of time.

I know its hard, but try to remind yourself ALL THE TIME that he cheated on you, with another girl. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is capable to do such a thing. If my boyfriend did such a thing, and said that he would prove that he loved me, i would say that its a complete lie. If he really did love me he wouldnt be able to commit such a thing in the first place. And i certainly woulndt be wanting to bug his phone and track his car all the time. It shouldnt be like this at all.

I might be wrong on this one. In the end, you know him better than me, so i cant really judge him. But take some time for yourself, without him and think what you really want then make your decision.

I truly wish you all the best.