It's Destroying What Little Is Left Of My Sanity.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and six months. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 18. Our relationship was stressed because of parents, school, work, etc. But we still loved each other. After about 2 years and 10 months, things started to become really, really, bumpy and stressed. I worked full time and he went to college full time and worked part time. We were fighting and the relationship felt strained. A friend told me that they had seen him holding hands with another girl at college. My heart dropped and I lost all sense of sanity. I felt dizzy, confused, and angry. I drove to his work as soon as I found out and waited for him to get off work. I spent the whole time praying and begging it wasnt true. He said it was. He had been talking to the girl for two weeks, emotionally cheating on me. He stomped on my heart and told me he just didnt love me anymore. He dumped me. He threw me down so hard that shattered into a million pieces. I asked why, he couldnt answer. A couple of days went by, I started to stalk the girls facebook, twitter, tumblr, etc. (I know thats not healthy for my heart) She had the nerve to call him hers. Claiming he was the one within two weeks time. Writing in her online journal of explicit details of them being together that I will never be able to get out of my head. I gave up on everything at this point, I was close to dying. Atleast I wanted to at the time. Two weeks after the break up, he came to my house and wanted to talk. He broke down in front of me. He fell onto his knees in front of me and he was in pieces. He said he was sorry, he missed me, he was wrong. But he kept talking to the girl, saying he couldnt just hurt her like that (because we were getting back together). It appalled me. He eventually cut off all contact with her, and it's been about 9 months since this all happened. We have gotten and apartment together and are living on our own together. I still check her pages, i know i shouldnt. she will not leave it alone. she still talks about him. He is going back to college next week, and so will she. I am literally scared to death. I am so scared of losing him again, and im afraid that ***** will start going all psycho "i love him" again. I love him and I want to be with him. but I am having serious issues moving on. I cant move on if he is in the situation that they started in all over again, and I cant move on if she doesnt leave it the **** alone. I dont know what to do anymore. Im falling into pieces again.
danidarc0 danidarc0
3 Responses Jan 5, 2013

hey, i was in the same situation as you. he emotionally cheated on me and met up with girls. we were together for almost 3 years when i found out he did it again. I really hope your boyfriend is truly going to change after you gave him a second chance. My boyfriend cried and broke down when i gave him a second chance too.... but he did it again anyways. I broke up with him and I'm a mess. But i thought long and hard. To me it's like this-- you are still young. Just look for signs and always be cautious. But not too paranoid. You don't want to end up married and having kids when he will not change. By then it will be worse. It's very easy for someone to say he will change but actions speaks louder then words. Just be careful. good luck

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. What a horrible situation to be in. You'll just need to think long and hard about what you want. I wish you the best of luck and send you hugs

Dani - your boyfriend is being selfish. Period. He wants the best of both worlds and would keep it that way if he could. It's obvious that he's not ready to let go of "the other woman" regardless of what he insists with you. Stalking her on every social media outlet she's on is unhealthy and will fuel your insecurities and mistrust of your boyfriend. This is not a strong foundation for a healthy, lasting relationship and your boyfriend has not proven to you that he could be faithful. You are young and the world is full of possibilities without a selfish, cheating boyfriend. Take a step back and ask yourself what you want out of life and a relationship. Ask yourself if this young man and his side woman are worth the time, tears, pain and bad excuses. Maybe it's even a good idea to move out of your apartment and in with a friend or family member so you can think long and hard about what's BEST FOR YOU, which probably means breaking it off with this guy. I know it's hard but it will save you the trouble in the future because this girl probably won't be the last. He can be her problem.