Still Hurting After 1 YearI've been with my boyfriend for about two and a half years. One year ago, he cheated on me. We'd been in an open relationship where our rule was to be open and honest with each other about everything. I knew he and the girl were friends. I even invited her to his birthday. However, I knew she had a history of hooking up with men in relationships. I asked my boyfriend if he was attracted to her and he told me he'd never want to do anything with her. Fast forward about a month from that day when I'm out of the country. She comes over. They fall asleep. He wakes up to her touching him. They have oral sex. I find out when I return to the country. He told me it was because we were in an open relationship but I reminded him that he'd broken his word to me that he wouldn't so anything with her.
It's been a struggle since then. I've tried to forgive and I've been pretty good at it. He feels horrible about it. They no longer speak and he has tried to make things up to me. We have the type of relationship that people around us say defines and exudes love. He wants to make things better as do I, but I don't know if we will. I still am triggered by what happened and I still cry about it. It's been a year and the crying happens less but when I do cry, I find myself stuck in "I can't believe he did this" mode.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should give up or keep trying. I feel stuck.