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Heartbroken

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. He started a new job 3 months ago. About a month ago, I started noticing odd behavior. I always new his passwords to his Facebook and email. All of a sudden, he changed them. I got on his phone while he was in the shower and looked at his FB. There was a girl from his work that kept sending friend requests. I would delete her request but she would send it again. I asked him about it. He said it was a girl from work and she was just trying to be friendly and make friends. I told him it was odd that she kept sending them and asked if something was going on. He got all mad that I was being mosey and got on his phone. He ended up going to stay at his moms. I let a couple days pass. He ignored my calls and texts. When he finally would reply, he said he needed some space. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no. He would see me for a couple hours or so and watched me cry, begging him to come home. He looked me in the eye and told me he would be home the next night. I waited. The next day he wouldn't answer my calls or texts again. He came back Xmas eve night. Again, he had his phone in his jeans at the side of the bed. I waited til 4 am and snuck over and got his phone. Their was a text that came in from "josh" sayin merry Christmas my sexy man wish I was waking up next to u. I was crushed. I called her and she told me everything. Come to find out they were texting back and forth at work 2 days before I accused him with this girl. The night he was supposed to come home, he was actually having sex with her in her car. He's been home since Xmas eve and swears I'm the one he wants and that he made a mistake. But they still work together and I don't feel I can trust him anymore. How can you cheat on someone that you love? I don't understand. I'm driving myself insane constantly thinking about it.
Jen79 Jen79 31-35 5 Responses Jan 14, 2013

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I can't believe all the good advice I have received. I wasn't for sure if this site would help. I have done so much thinking, my head feels like it could explode. I do love this man. Even though he hurt me like this, I still love him. And since I love him, I've decided to let him go. I want him to be happy and she must make him happy for him to hurt me so bad. Time will ease my pain. One day at a time. I can't live wondering all the time. It will just make me crazy and nobody will be happy. I'm sure there's someone out there that will love me for me. One day I will be happy and this will all be in the past. Thank you everyone!!!!

Hello heartbroken i am as well heartbroken the same thing was done to me from my boyfriend who i was with for 3 years he cheated on me with a girl from his job texting all the time calling also nude pictures being exchanged and videos i was devastated when i found out from her through facebook when she contacted me! Its been 3 months now we have not been together but i cant move on so hurt we didnt talk for 2 months and now this past month he has contacted me but he already has a female friend he hangs out with how can they move on so quick and how can u love me but hangout with someone so i made a decision no more answering his calls or texts instead of going forward it seems i am taking two steps back!

I was going to leave him. But he actually talked about it with me and we are really trying to work it out. I even have his account info to check his phone records to see what numbers call and text. He is putting everything out there. It's really hard though for the fact the tramp still works with him. Her boyfriend works there also. I'm so tempted to call him and let him know what happened cuz he's clueless. I hope it's going to work out but there's just things I can't get over and ill never forget. I don't think men realize what damage they cause when they do this. They take away a piece of you that you won't ever get back.

Dear Jen79, I agree with justHelp461,he gives very good advice for his age..{bluff.. is it}He will soon blame you and say, you this...no good...that no good!Don't let him make you small!He is wrong! and he wants a change..Wow! you really have good friends!i agree with their advice...If I am your brother I think I can't control myself and give him a dlack eye and chase him away...CHEATER!!!GRRRRRRRRR!!!
n

He's going to do whatever it is to make you feel like you were the one to cause this upon yourself. He's gonna soon try and turn the tables on you and make you think this was all your fault. I know this shouldn't be something you want to here, but you need to leave... while your still young, try and find someone else who would treat you like a queen. Not going behind your back, keeping things from you. Your better than this and you know that, you don't deserve this. No women will put up with a man like that. He will get his soon, he will know he made a mistake. Go out, enjoy yourself, if you can't be okay... act like it, because soon enough your going to feel it. Your going to heal. You don't need know one... you always have god.

Oh honey....this is so very sad. You poor thing. My ex husband cheated on me. When he finally admitted it and we said we would try to work things out, he'd get angry if I didn't completely trust him within a month's time. How are you supposed to trust someone blindly when they have broken that trust in one of the worse ways?? Always wondering where he is and who's he's with isn't a happy way to live. If the situation were reversed, would he be so forgiving of you? I hope things work out for the best for you. Please take care of yourself (hug)

..very good, v good advice! real inside!Thanks Learn that there are good girls like you too! ha! Ha!

Some people don't feel remorse until the affair is over. They might change after, or maybe they won't feel remorse until the next one is over as well. <br />
:( <br />
Wow that didn't help at all, huh?<br />
I guess he thought his desires were more important than his relationship with you. At least temporarily. If any man looks you in the eye then lies. I say ditch em. (did you already?)

No. I'm so confused. I love him and I want to believe he loves me. But after seeing texts between them, I don't know. He called her the pet names that he calls me. He sent her songs that he always sent me. He took every intimate detail away from me. He won't sit and talk to me about it. He gets mad and acts like I should be over it by now. I don't have anyone to talk to because I don't want anyone to know. So I came upon this forum and thought I would try to ease my pain by discussing my problems with strangers.

Leave him now! I am just now getting out of a 10 year relationship with a serial cheater who told me I was the only one he wanted and that he knew he made such a mistake and would never do it again and yada yada yada. People are either cheaters or they're not. The fact that he got mad at you when you found info in his phone is big. They will deny it &amp; blame you even when caught red-handed. Love yourself enough to leave now!

How do you ease the pain? I've been in a deep depression. I haven't been able to eat and I don't sleep much. I've lost 17 lbs in the last 3 weeks. I'm sick and weak. I'm just tired of crying, worrying, and feeling this way. If he loved me, you would think he would want to help ease the pain he has caused me.

I don't know about either of you &gt;&gt; but heres something:
It may be hard to hear, but he doesn't seem to love you. He just wants things for himself, to be the way he wants them to be. What's easy for him.

My mom and dad have been together for 40+ years (no cheating + 8 kids) What he is doing to you is not how you treat someone you love. You could give him a second chance, but more pain the second time. :(

I've heard time eases the pain, mainly because other memories pile up and the older ones just get less focused on.
Right now you are very vulnerable I assume xO
Does he know how much you hurt?

Letting the one you love go could be whats best for him, at least. Setting him free. And in the long run it might be whats best for you.
Sorry if it's not too helpful.

Actually, you are absolutely right. I have been some thinking after reading some of the comments. I think I know what I need to do.

Good luck with your life

Reality..you are great1 Exactly the advice I want to give her.1I think both of us has the same aim..Don't let gen be cheated further!

Wow! usermame! you tell the truth..true love sticks...involve sacrifice!
this is the first time i came across so many good people!

Yes jen..thinking about him won't help! All here and your family can help!Obviously he don't love you/..when my wife of28 years is crying..it hurts me as much as her...so I humblly hug her

Praying for you!Remember..The sun is shining! Put your head up and go to work with a smile!Don't let the cheater destroy you!!!!!!!!

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