Please Help Me

My boyfriend cheated on me during the first month we started dating with his ex gf. He would talk so much crap about her and call her a **** and say she nasty and all this bad stuff. She told me that he cheated on me but before all that, he told me that she would probably be telling me all these crazy stories. So when she told me..I didnt believe it. I started thinking about it more so I talked to her. She said he cheated on me. And the weekend she said he did, was the weekend we didn't hangout. The ONLY weekend we didn't. I asked him repeatedly about it and he would deny deny deny. He denied it for 5 months. ON our 5 months I went to see him at work and earlier that day I had been messaging her off his account and got all the details. After nagging about it for about an hour, he admitted it. This is a man I completely gave everything too. I know I'm young, but I knew he was the one. We had planned out our whole lives together. We are still together but I think about it everyday. I have nightmares about it. I dont know what to do. I love him so much but I constantly worry. He spoils me like crazy and has bought me a real ring and is the best bf you could imagine. But I can't get over it. I think about it when he kisses me when he looks at me. While WE have sex. I don't know how to get over it. My world is shattered because I built my life around him. I know it was early in the relationship but what do I do?! Please help me. Don't say I'm too young ever.
13nikki0710 13nikki0710
18-21, F
7 Responses Jan 17, 2013

I'm in the exact situation. I found an memory card, looked on it and it's him and his now ex wife doing same things we do sexually, if not more. Not bad you say? Well, checking the dates, it was a few different days 7 months into our relationship. He says he don't remember but I just can't get it out of my head. I imagine them having sex. I secretly grill him but he doesn't know I know certain things. It's grossing me out. 7 years we been together but I'm unsure how to feel or whether to stay or leave. So sweetheart, do what u feel is right

hey. .. I'm in the same boat. just found out after 3 years my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex at the beginning of our relationship. I knew all this time what hevobly admitted recently and I can tell took a toll on me. these past 3 years haven't been easy, I was always battling my trust issues n insecurities with myself and him. if I would have known so much earlier things would not be this way. I think you're lucky to have found out now.... at least its not too late to change ur mind or start fresh without lies. if you believe he deserves a chance then go with your heart. . . if and when youre able to lose feelings or move on then deal with that once it comes. it is so much harder letting something go that u feel u really really want. follow what your selfish self desires and if its to give him a second chance then do it. dont make him suffer for his actions, learn to forgive him or get out. im sure youre not a 100% honest about EVRYThing.. diference is he got caught . . . not saying you cheated but im just pointing out that no one is perfect and relationships are hard.

someone wrote "you get what you allow..." or smth to that effect?!... well that is true but to a level. dont think that he cheated because you allowed him to! he did what he did out of his own selfish urges... he went with his feelings and probably thought his conciquences wouldnt be that severe. hopefully hes sincere enough to be more disciplined next time around.

Pray about it and ask God to direct you. I have been through a situation like that and God is helping me deal with it. Learn to forgive and let God have his way.

Hey i'm rougly the same age as you and am sick of being told that im only young and all that ****! Ive had trust issues with my boyfriend in the past and have managed to pull through them. I have also recently found out he cheated on me in the past and its something im trying to get through myself so i completely understand! If you honestly believe that this boy is the boy you want to spend the rest of your life with then go for it. I dont believe in regret, you may take him back and he may do it again but just let that only be a lesson to you. However i do not believe in once a cheat always a cheat, i believe people can change and i believe sometimes it takes something like this to make him realise how much he loves you. If you guys are meant to be you will be and you will get through it, and if you think he is the one as you said this situation will only make you stronger together and as an individual! Good luck i wish you both happiness x x

If he loved you the way you loved him, he would never have cheated on you. You must let him know what he did, and what he did was wrong and can never be forgiven.. The rest is up to you if you want to stay with him. A cheater is the worst kind of person, and the lies will never stop.

I know. It's hard because he knows how guilty he is and everytime I bring it up he cries... So I know that means something. I know he's sorry. I guess it's not so much about forgiving's about forgetting

Never forgive, never forget. I'm glad to hear that is brings up such strong emotion in him.. He must really feel bad about it.. But doing such things is an act of immaturity, and deceit. You can forgive him, if he really really deserves it and proves he is worthy of forgiveness.. But never forget. If my guy cheated on me.. (We've been together for 4 years, known him since middle school, Im a junior in college now..) I would have to break up with him. Being friends with him would even maybe be in question.

I went through something similer I'm sorry to say you just have to move on. If you marry the guy that's still all you will ever think about I know u love him. I know it will be hard to live with out him. But you will love again...

i know what you thinking at this situation... m also suffering from same situation...but yes, u r too young 4 all these...but in love hr chiz shi lagti h...
concentrate on another things lyk study, frnds, family and most important urself...

ur frnd