Cheating Is Rough...

I need some help again so the guy I'm with and have been with for four years cheated on me about 1.5 years ago. It's been a rough road and thought I had moved on.

Turns out no...but recently I have taken the steps to truly forgive him and put trust towards him. We have talked about things and I have decided that this is who I want to be with and I will do whatever it takes to do so.

We did get into a fight the other day about trust and what not and tonight he asked me to add Skype and I did and I had to work so we couldn't mess around with the video chat part. But at the bottom of his Skype profile page I saw that he had two contacts. It bothered me a bit because I know one of them is me but the other is a mystery and I'm not gonna ask him who it is because I want to trust that he's not doing n e thing stupid again.

He promised me he would never cheat again and I want to trust him and I do trust him but I can't lie that thought does linger!

I have choose to stay so no I don't really need people telling me once a cheater always a cheater! And I should just give up! I would like advice on how I can move past easier, stop being so nosey, and just live a happy life with him and have no worries!

Sorry if it sounded rude but I want advice on how to get past it not give up on it
Nicoleh7213 Nicoleh7213
22-25, F
4 Responses Jan 22, 2013

while i agree with you askin him too much insecurity can push him away , however if he loves you enough he will understand and help you to gain his trust back . he has no right to your trust right now , im not sure he'll ever get your trust back fully though . good luck

Unfortunetly...that thought in the back of your mind is always gonna linger. It will be there always because what has been done cannot be undone. I won't tell you to give up on him but I will say to be cautious. If you are curious about that mystery person on skype...then it is ur business to know. Don't think your being nosey...he should know that he has to gain back your trust and to do that, you should be able to communicate your feelings about this situation and how it worries you. Don't be sneaky...just ask and be calm about it. Don't get in his face, just ask. Your in a relationship, and a relationship is SHARED

I'm dealing with the same issue right now a believe me its tough and I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a kid together...I'm staying because its my choice and I love him truly madly deeply and I believe in us forever! You have to believe and truly have faith see the big picture in the end for u...u must focus on yourself and get to know yourself fully...I'm nosey as hell and what I have realized is that u only hurt u when u go looking for things don't keep doing that to yourself with faith in knowing he doesn't want to hurt you again and u should be fine...I know things are easier to say then do but u have to start somewhere...

I have been in your exact shoes.
It is very hard to trust someone that you have gave your all to, who has hurt you &I betrayed you.
It will take longer than a year and a half,
& a lot of commitment from him.
To show you he is committed to you &let's your relationship together & allow you to trust again
also I have learned not to hold back your concerns &thoughts questions. That will eat you alive, it will add up & all of them will sooner or later come to a hault. You do not have to fight about your concerns. Simply say babe, given our previous situation I have a fear that I can't shake & I need you to please confirm that I am over reacting about the other contact.
so that things don't get out of context.
I hope this helps you and I wish you well in your relationship