I Cant Get Over My Boyfriend Cheating On Me...

so the other day my boyfriend asked what could be done to make us better,because lately there has been some real tension between us often,and we both realize it. i told him that he could start by not lying. he insisted he was not. i gave him an example. i called him one night and wanted to talk,but he seemed as if he were rushing off the phone. so i asked "who is there with you?" he said "no one" and i said "(his name) so there is NO ONE there with you right now you are completely alone?" and he said "yes" and i said "so i didn't just hear (his friends name) in the background?" and he said "oh yeah (his friends name) is here". so we argued a bit about that and he tried to insist that he had said no one was there because his friend had "just come near him" when i asked the last time. maybe by my asking who is there with you he thought i was implying that a female were there,which she probably was,and so his focus was more on that and not even on that of his friend being there as well. i don't know. my ex boyfriend before him was so horribly abusive both physical and mental and cheating a lot. i found so many pictures of him posing with other girls and some even pregnant,which he denied were his saying he met them after they were already very pregnant. but that relationship really hurt me,and while i didn't want to be one of those bitter bit**es that goes off yelling "all men are the same!!!",i was still very cautious and wanting to keep to myself. but this guy,this guy kept kinda pursuing me and saying just cause i was a single mom i didn't deserve to be alone and i shouldn't short myself yadda yadda. so i gave in slowly and really grew to like him,then fell hard in love with him. we grew closer and closer and my kids grew close to him too. pretty soon it was just always all of us and i considered him my actual boyfriend. then last november some "guy" messaged me on a website asking if i had a boyfriend and how long we had been together and what not. i answered all the questions then politely said the convo had to stop because of my boyfriend and that it was getting disrespectful towards him. then the messager admitted that they actually knew my boyfriend,and that he was doing things behind my back that i did not deserve. so of course then i wanted them to keep talking,and they told me that he was cheating on me. i did not believe it. i wanted to call them and hear it for myself from them. they sent a number and when i called a girl answered. i didn't get it right away,but the "guy" on the website was a fake. it was the girl just trying to be sure that i was actually with my boyfriend before she said anything i guess. she told me everything and i was just so crushed. he knew everything i had been through and had tried so hard to prove me wrong about not thinking a man could really love me and be faithful. i couldn't believe he would of all people do that to me. and then to hear it straight from the other females mouth was just horrible. i took the information and we kept in touch for a few days. our plan was to "accidentally" run into eachother somewhere,but while i was with my boyfriend,and see how he reacted because she would be like "oh hey (boyfriends name)!!!" but i could never do it i didn't want to share him or have her see him or nothing. she said a lot though. one thing hurting the most her asking about his ex. he said it was me but that he only left me on his page and left my pics and comments because if he took them down i would be very upset and i might hurt myself (he doesnt know i am suicidal though),and she said she asked why we werent together and he said that he liked me but i had two kids,and he was young and just not ready to play daddy so he didnt see himself with me. that hurt a lot because we would often talk about that. i didn't believe that a man could really want to be commited to someone with kids,and be true to her. he later denied this comment but i dont believe it. anyway couple days later was thanksgiving,and i was near where she lived so i told her to meet up with me at his house to see if she really knew where it was. she did. he was supposed to be gone with his mom out of town for the holiday. but through his window i saw a light on his room and he wasn't answering my or her calls. we suspected it was a third girl in the mix. i checked for entry ways and found he left the sliding glass door on the patio open. i went inside on a mission. i was heated. no one was there though. he had left the light on his fish tank on. but i took everything i saw in there and trashed it. doritos under the bed? i poured them on the bed and crunched them all up. hawaiian punch was poured all over the bed. baby powder thrown everywhere. i took all his precious things and packed them up too. game system,hunting gear,nice clothes,cologne,keepsakes,games,all that. but i ended up feeling kinda bad and also not wanting to get hit with theft and so i took it all back and left the three big bags sitting in the middle of his room in all the mess. i'm a pu**y LoL. he always asked me if i had done it but i didn't admit to it until i was like 8 months pregnant. too pregnant too hurt me and too much time later to call the police LoL. i found a pair of black panties stuffed on the side of the bed too. she said they were hers. i called him again when i left and he finally answered. i asked if he loved me and he said yes. i asked if we would get together as soon as he got back in town and he said yes. she called while sitting next to me and beeped into his line. he clicked over! she asked him if she would see him when he got back and he said yes too. he clicked back over to me and acted as if nothing had happened. i questioned him all week and he swore up and down that there was no one else and he had never cheated and would never do that. he caved in and said yes and admitted to it all after about a week. i knew that the answer was yes,but to actually HEAR it from him hurt a WHOLE lot. especially since it was so unexpected. this was supposed to be my dream come true. the guy that was self proclaimed different from other guys and was going to show me the proof of that. his penis would even go soft at times during sex or just not even get hard at all at times,and i thought it was me,but i had heard on Oprah or something that when men cheat somewhere in their subconsious they feel guilty and so that will mess with their being able to get it up and function,so after finding out the whole "oh i don't know why i can't get it up i don't know whats happening this hasn't happened before" made sense to me.  i was just crushed. but at the same time i was oddly jealous. i really did plan to leave him and would have once i found someone else i think,but in my odd jealously i wanted to somehow prove i was better than her in bed and show him he made a mistake,so i gave him wild sex even urging him not to step and to just ********* inside me. month and a half later we take a pregnancy test together and i am pregnant. i was happy but also not because i couldnt leave him  now. but he assured me that the cheat was one time and he was just confused about what he wanted at the time and he knew what he wanted now and would never jeopardize losing me and his family over it again. he still says this. i just can't beleive it. maybe if he didn't do little things here and there that make it seem like he is. like i told him the other day when he tells little white lies like the one i first mentioned,and then he gets caught in them right there,it makes me think he is also capable of telling or is telling them to cover up bigger lies. like today like he called me asking who im with,i said no one just the baby,but i said i was going back to lay down and i was kind of bit**y cause his call woke me up,so i felt bad and called him back like 5 minutes later,voicemail popped right on. i waited a few minutes and tried again cause i thought he was maybe trying to call me. he answered and i said were you just on the phone? he said no. i said oh cause i just called and the voicem-------OH OH I HAD CALLED MY MOTHER. your mother? i thought you just said you werent on the phone. i'm not on the phone. but i asked if you were. but i'm not damn no one is lying to you. (getting all defensive now though) yeah but when i call and ask if you were on the phone and you say no but then soon as i mention the voicemail poppin on you say you was on the phone and then with your MOTHER at that. and you said it REAL quick too,even cut me off in the middle of my sentence. he was just like you asked if i was on the phone and im not on the phone now but i was with my mother earlier but you asked me now. im like how would i mean right now?!?!?? I AM ON THE PHONE WITH YOU NOW. i just hung up on him cause that seemed like an obvious lie and it hurt because it seem like i caught him in something. he didnt even call back either. this was like 2 hours ago from now. i just can't get over it,and i often feel bad because what if he really is trying to change for the better and is not cheating. what if i drive him to it with my accusations. what if i drive him away with them. i am not happy in this relationship because of this and i try to act like i am but the smallest thing will remind me of it,or of her. a girl that looks like her,black panties,doritos,a song about cheating,a movie,little things that she described about him when i asked for proof like the way he squints his eyes or something. he may do that at me and i think of it all over again. oh and when i threw baby powder everywhere he said when he came home his fish were dead. some baby powder were in the tank he said. i killed the fish. forgot to mention that. anyway though it just hurts beyond belief. even to this day. why is that? it's like as fresh as it was from day one. and it has ruined our love life. for one,when i was going to leave him she came up with a song to help me feel better,and in it it talked about all the terrible things about him,like his small penis,*********** too quickly,his being over weight,his horrible sex technique,all of these things that i had paid no attention to because i loved him,but now they were brought to my attention by someone who had been with him and knew first hand. so now i am not as attracted to him anymore. i never thought he was fat,i thought he was the sexiest man around. now i do. i never thought his penis was small,it was great to me. now i hate it. she called him dirty and trash. now he is dirty to me too. he was the second partner i had been with,and so all the things about *********** too fast and such,i had NO idea. she told me all this,and now i take notice to it. i was so happy and in the dark and loving it. now it is just all ruined. even when we have sex,oh my god i hate it. there may be that one random time where i really enjoy myself and fall back pleased,but for the most part i hate having sex with him. all i think about is what he did and what he might be doing. if he is on top of me looking at me all i see is him on top of someone else and looking at them. i wonder if he is cheating and if he looks at them that way. if he looked at her that way. it happens for any position we are in. if its from the back i can kind of tune it out more easily,but it is still there. when he kisses me i am disgusted. i used to LOVE kissing him,now i avoid it and he has taken notice. he says he feels unloved and no affection from me. again,i feel so bad if he isn't doign anything or feel that i am may run him into doing something acting this way. i can't help it though. i see him and i am just disgusted. by him. by what i think he might be doing. by what he did. i want to cheat so bad,kind of because he did it,and kind of to see what else is out there. i think he is small and giving me bad sex,but i don't really know,although according to who he cheated with,i am missing out so sooooo much better in the love making department. i just can't do it though. i can't be with another man and i have such a guilty conscience it would eat me up inside even if i never told anyone. it's stressing me out though because i really feel that i might. everything is just so ruined. all over one fling (that i know of). it still hurts. i feel not good enough. i mean to get cheated on by not one but BOTH of my partners,i feel like sh**. worthless. i am now very self conscious about sex and i am convinced that he doesn't like it and would prefer it somewhere else. i try to just avoid sex all together and we used to have sex like 2-5 times a day everyday. now we may have it once or twice a week. he takes notice to that too and complains. i used to cook him breakfast lunch and dinner. that stopped. he complains on that too. again,everything is ruined. am i being a selfish bit**? should i just get over it? i just feel like giving up often times,but there are times i do try to make an effort at this relationship. is there even one left? the one person that i thought would never hurt me,hurt me in the worst way possible. there is no trust. no attraction. nothing. will the pain and the constant remembering ever go away? i really do want to make this work,but what can i do? how can i get back to the days when i LOVED his penis? i am so sexually distraught here. forget him,can i just put a little time machine on his penis and go back to the days of pleasure in my eyes? god even if i didn't really know it wasn't good,can i at least go back to THINKING it was??!!??!? but for now as it stands,*sigh*,I Can't Get Over My Boyfriend Cheating On Me.

BrokenBiscuit BrokenBiscuit
22-25, F
21 Responses Nov 16, 2008

Being cheated on is not something anyone can ever just get over. It will have long lasting effects on any relationship going forward whether it be you staying with him or finding someone better (which would be just about any man who hasn't cheated on you at this point). Cheaters usually don't get it. Their mindset in the first place is it isn't a big deal. So being caught and causing their partner pain is really the painful part of it for them. So when you are trying to work things out with a cheater, they really don't understand why the forgiveness and move-on mindset is not given to them easily. They really feel they DESERVE a 2nd chance and almost demand it in their words and actions when in this healing mode. They don't understand why you don't just get over it and leave the past in the past and go back to treating them special. It is this type of behavior and thoughts from the cheater that will always make them possible cheaters. In their mind they can justify the cheating and belittle the seriousness of the act. You just have to ask yourself, if he were put in the same or similar situation would he do it again? If there was someone more pretty, sexy, coming on to him, etc would the first thing that comes to his mind be how much it would hurt you or the possibility of losing you, or would he just be sexually aroused in the moment and could care less about what he has at home because he knows you will be there regardless. If the answer is No he wouldn't think about all that or you feel in your heart he probably would cheat again then you have to ask yourself, are you willing to accept that and stay with him. There are plenty of women in the same situation but still will not leave. They are miserable and want to be treated better but their self-esteem is so low they cannot imagine life without this kind of man. Some even feel they deserve such man that gives them pain. Its all about what you are willing to accept. Any relationship expert will tell you that the foundation of a relationship is trust. You don't have that with him. So ask yourself why are you settling? Do you feel he is such a great guy that he deserves your forgiveness and another chance?

Forgive, but you will not forget. I think that is about all one can do. Time will put things right for you, but it does take time. If you believe there is reason enough to continue with him, than try it. If things do not change and you are without a partner willing to do the work beside you, kick him to the curb....bc

Apparently it's okay for women to cheat on their men, so I'm going to have to say it's alright for men to cheat on their women too. I guess everybody cheats on everybody. Welcome to post-feminist empowered society, where women get all the credit and men get all the blame.

No,it is never ok for anyone to cheat on anyone. I think we've all at least thought of it at some point in our lives and I guess that's ok to some extent,but actually acting on it is the not so cool part. Especially one who does so multiple times and if it's done to the same person then both parties need to take a cold hard honest look at themselves. The repetitive cheater for obvious reasons,and the one who stays and allows the cheating to continue,for what should also be obvious reasons.

I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me about a month ago. We have kids and live together though and he was seeing her for 6 months. I feel so dumb for not realizing it. We are in a lease together and are still living together trying to work it out, but secretly I am having a really tough time dealing. I can relate with a lot of things you posted like imagining him with her and so forth. I can't get it out of my head! It makes me so sad and mad. I need help! I really want to make it work though we have 3 kids together and I still love him.

I relate to the part about when he is on top of you and you are imagining him on top of someone else looking at them the same way. That got to me.

I completely relate to this as well.

Speaking from my own experience, some things just cant be undone. Once the trust is broken, nothing else can or will keep it together. I am working on getting out of my marriage, and am working on getting all my ducks in a row, as soon as I do, I am gone, there is no one for her to blame than herself. Women claim they cant find a good man, but when they do, they just screw them over.

wow it sounds like she cheated on you and you want out! :( you are right to say that some things just can't be undone,but that doesn't mean that some things can't be fixed right? i don't know how much you love her or if you can forgive her,but this was written when i was very young and very hurt. we have since fallen even more in love than ever and are supposed to be married within a few months. every situation is different. if she or he is not out there whoring it and honestly only made a stupid mistake a time or two and is genuinely apologetic and willing to work on things,i'd say give it a trying effort. obviously let the cheater put in a significantly higher amount of "effort" especially to begin with,but i'm just a lover of love and if there's even the tiniest hint of love being left,grab it,save it,and build from it. he is now my best friend and i am forever grateful that i didn't listen to what everyone else said and let him go. i plan to spend the rest of my life with this guy. silly of me to think that along the way and in all that time,he and i will be sitting at the end,hand in hand,all old and nostalgic like "remember the ZERO amount of mistakes that we've made and NONE of the stupid stories involving things we've done to one another that we can now look back and laugh on?". umm i DON'T think that'll happen. ;) i wish you all the best in whatever decision you make. take care and thanks for reading. :)

I am going through similar situations right now. Aren't you scared he will cheat again?

I was yes,but then I learned to trust him which was also easy to do because he made a conscious effort to change and to SHOW ME that change as well. Usually I guess,if your partner is cheating you know,and likewise if they are not cheating,you know.

stop your whining... just get yourself together and move on. Why you have to go and trash your partners property and life. Just ******* move on. if you don't like the relationship you are in, then move the **** out and stop whining. this **** **** me off.

LoL well dang some scorned chick must have trashed your stuff before haha not to laugh but it read like you were speaking from experience. :p

I can't get over it either. My boyfriend cheated on me with his wife for our first year together. When I met him, I had no idea he was still married. He called her his ex and made it sound like a thing of the past. During our first conversation, I told him that if I was attracted to him, it meant he was trouble. I have a history of choosing the wrong guy. He convinced me that h was different. He asked me for a date to prove he wasn't like other guys. He begged for my number. That first conversation lasted 5 hours or more. By the end of it, he had my number and my interest. Sometimes I wonder if that was the moment I went wrong. The first time I second-guessed myself. The days following our initial meeting, he pursued me relentlessly. I agreed to go out with him. He was so so romantic and charming and handsome. He was clean, smelled good, didn't smoke, could carry a conversation. A perfect gentleman.<br />
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It was about a week before I found out he was married. I was looking him up on Facebook and she was listed with the same last name. So I asked if he was married and he said " technically, yes; but we've been separated for 5 years. I have the paperwork for a divorce, I can show you the papers if you want." I was shocked. I had no idea he had a wife. It was strange to me. Very inappropriate and not something I could ignore. I told him I needed some time to process the information. It didn't seem like a good idea to him. He asked me why I needed to think about it. I told him it was a big deal to me, I needed a couple of days. It only took an hour for me to second-guess myself this time. I called him and told him I could deal with the fact that he was divorcing. I said " it is what it is". Perhaps it was at this point where I went wrong. I had second guessed myself again.<br />
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For the next year it was part bliss and torture. The sex- unreal. He is the best lover I have EVER had. Attentive, sensual, passionate, great kisser... The works. But something was always in the back of my mind. He would have strange mood swings for no reason. I never once heard his phone ring in the first year, he would take a shower at my place as soon as he got there and would just act weird. Something was off. The sex stopped being as exciting for me so he would just try harder. He would bring me flowers, buy me gifts, he was prince charming. So romantic, so in love with me. I trusted him completely, probably just what he needed. I started telling him that I felt things were strange. He told me it was because I was a saboteur. That I was intent on sabotaging our relationship. I had a pretty toxic relationship before him and he blamed that experience. He once dedicated a song to me that said he couldnt pay for my exe's mistakes. I fell into it. Th self doubt. Believe me when I tell you this... Nothing, and I mean nothing, will do you in like self doubt. I started feeling crazy. I have always been very in touch with my intuitive faculties. He was telling me that I was crazy. But something just felt wrong. That part was just as damaging if not more than the physical betrayal. I finally couldn't take it anymore. For about a week before I found out, I had already been mourning the relationship. I had played out in my mind how I would approach him or his wife. I told myself I would stay calm and composed if and when confirmed the cheating. I even planned my approach in a way that would cause her to spill the whole pot of beans. <br />
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When I was finally ready to confront my fears, I began just as planned. I dropped her a very friendly message on Facebook . I waited a few hours before telling him, that would decrease the odds of the email being intercepted. He came over that evening. We visited hugged and kissed as usual, Then I casually mentioned that I had emailed his wife. I told him it was time I introduced myself ( they have a son who I had become very close to). I introduced myself as his girlfriend and told her what a nice son she has and what a good job they had done raising him. I want going to do anything less than dignified. So as I'm telling him this, he gets this look of horror on his face. I start laughing a little bit. Because we both know it's too late to go back now and I have him exactly where I had planned on having him. I didn't mention that I included my phone number in the email, just in case she ever wants to visit. Long story short, she calls, confirms and falls right into my plan. She tells me everything. Theyve been having a relationship, a very bad one, for years. They have had sex every week for a year. She thinks I'm her friend. She thinks she's going to walk out of this with a husband still. I don't think so. I wasn't about to be outdone by anyone, especially not her. I was so nice to her. The reason I could do this was because I was a business professional, trained to be polite at all times an also because I had been coming to terms with this moment for months. Guess what? he divorced her. He told her right in front of me That he was in love with me and going to divorce her. She told him it wasnt going to be that easy. I Get the guy, She's alone. I win right? Maybe. Or maybe now I'm with a guy who s almost perfect, except that he has the capacity to do some serious damage.I feel like he's been paying for it every day since then. He is really really good to me. But shes always going to be around. She is now homeless, car-less and morbidly obese. She still pursues him. It's disgusting. I blame him every day. I love him most days. Some days though, I convince myself that the only way to not be a victim is to take on the role of cheater. Maybe if I cheat, my intuition can be hushed my my guilty conscience. I don't trust him. I am not over it. I would absolutely be open to the idea of falling in love with someone else while I'm still with him. I'm comfortable here. I get treated very very well. But it isn't enough.

I don't know why you stole the child's father away from his mother, and now it's not enough for u. That innocent child you ruined that childhood and it affects the them the rest of their life! All about you! You only matter!

Well, it has been some time since this post. I am wondering how it all worked out for you and him?.......bc

I know this cheating all to well. My ex when I was with him cheated on me atleast with 5 different people! Even when I was pregnant! How disgusting is that! You would think that when your pregnant with his child you would be safe from cheating. NOPE. And his reason when he finally broke it off with me was I wasnt sexual enough for him and then he ended up with a ******** who was bisexual and would do things with another girl. something I would never do. Well I eventuallly got over it and moved on and never ever will I put up with that again! Trust the saying once a cheater always a cheater he still cheats on his girlfriends now. So please ladies get out if it happens once do not torture yourself like I did! Not worth it,

I broke up with my boyfriend because i couldnt see or talk to him everyday and it hurt me so bad cuz i couldnt see him. We dated for like 3 months, well, i didnt know he was cheating on me till my best friend told me just yesterday when i was talking to her on the phone. When she told me, i was so devastated :,( i could not believe he had done that to me. When we were dating he said all this stuff that made me believe him, he would always tell me he loved me with all his heart and he said the most sweetest things to me that made me feel so good and special, i said it back to him all the time too and meant it. He said he meant it, but he must of not cuz he cheated on me :,( he hurt me really bad. I just couldnt believe he cheated on me!!! I asked him awhile back, everything u had said to me is true? Is it all true? And he said yes, its all true. Well it must of not been, if it was all true then he wouldnt of cheated on me :,( i cried so hard over it, i was in so much shock, my heart was full, it was given to, to someone i truly loved..someone i could count on..someone i thought, who truly loved me...i actually thought, and felt in my heart, that he loved me...well, i guess i was wrong.....:,( u hurt me, u broke me, and now u cant fix me..all u can do is cry because im not with u anymore..i hope u know how much i needed, wanted, and loved u, and i always want u to know that..but im letting go...my heart will move on, but it will never be the same...goodbye blue eyes :,( ....

Well I just found out that my fiance of 4 years and boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me when our son was 5 months and kept it going for a whole year and got her pregnant I AM SO DONE. And to TOP it off we have 3 kids our son was the last and she knew this ******* can be SO F'N dumb. There is no way in HELL i would date sleep or give someone the time or day who aint takin care of the kids let alone get pregnant and keep it.... Retarted ***** hope she have fun cuz if we had 3 kids and that aint keep us together what makes her think her getting pregnant and keeping it was going to keep him...

My bf did the same thing to me, but a bit worse...try ten or more girls strippers u name it even a prostitute....he's the only guy I've ever been in love with so I'm scared I'll never feel this way about anyone else because I never had...oh ya a bit of an abusive relationship too...he broke my jaw...I feel like an idiot for still being with him but its all I know.. he blamed it all on being an alcoholic and a drug addict which we both were...since then we both sobered up and he's a sponser at AA now...I see a huge change in him...but I see one in myself...I used to be happy and now I feel like an empty shell...my life is so ****** up and I have no one to talk to about it because I stoped talking to all my friends...I've lost all motivation to do anything... and I feel I've just dug myself deeper because everything is eating me up inside. I don't kinow what to do anymore.

i just been tru something like that about 4 months ago i find out my boyfriend was cheating on me for 2 months it was the day of my 3 year old son birthday party he meet the old ***** at the bus stop around his job the reason it hurt so much is because 9 months befor dec. i found out i have stage 3 colon cancers and i had to learn how to walk again i couldnt get out of the bed i drop 80lbs in 11/2months BUT i still had to talk care of my boys and for him to do what he did too me really hurt i didnt show it but it did i mean i felt good punching him in the face and kicking him out but now i hate him i been tru sooooooooooooooo much **** in my life taking care of my bro and sis dealing with a dad on durgs and getting beat on (ripdad) till my oldest son being 1lbs and 15 oz when he was born and him dieing in my arm and this guy not being there for him or me being homeless in th wrostest ctiy like i been tru soo much **** half of it because of him and then he cheat on me im sooo stree out being with him and he is trying i cant leave him cause of my boys they love him so much they cry when they dont see him i love him too i have too worry about my cancers and him cheating on me againg i dont know how too and it hurt wroster then talking to the old bicth that he cheating on me with i dont know what to do

Girls: 99% of men will cheat if given the opportunity. It's not your fault. You could be the sexiest person alive and they will cheat. It's the way they're built. Mother Nature had a twisted sense of humor creating men to be dogs and women to crave monogamy. The more you expect it the less disappointed you'll be. And they will lie about it. Don't believe them. But other than that, men are great.

No not 99% There are still guys who won't do it, their the few decent men still in the world and they are out there. So don't sit here and talk bs saying this is how it is get over it, because that's what you're saying like it or not. Which is untrue.

I'm sorry but this is just wrong. 99% of men cheating is absolutely inaccurate, not to mention, unbelievable. And if you're going to say that women should expect to be cheated on, you should tell men the same, because it isn't a one way street. Women cheat too. To believe that all men are liars and cheaters and set the bar so low as to force yourself to always expect to be cheated on or lied to is to attract exactly the type of man that you despise. When you think lowly of people, they WILL meet your expectations.

I feel for all of you guys... i cant stand that men are cheaters! my heart hurts soo much and i cant find the strength to leave my man. I know that i can have who ever i wanted but i guess since i have his child it makes it that much harder... what should i do? i dnt think hes cheating now at least i hope so he picks up whenever i call he calls me as soon as he gets home. he picks up our daughter everyday from daycare and spends some time with the both of us everday. but idk something deep down in my heart tells me still not to trust him i love him so much though ! i hate this.

Men only cheat when they are losing interest you could be good at sex but someone else may be better or he may like someone else better so the sex may feel better Its all about finding out what he likes taking interest in him and the results will be in front of you.And yeah men like to be pampered as much as if not more than women so if you stop suddenly he will not like it.


Girl, reading your story made me cry!!!!!! It is EXACTLY, WORD FOR WORD, the same story as mine ;( tell me if youve found out a way to make it better... god i could use it.

Well ok so heres the thing, last year when I was pregnat with my daughter I found out that the last 3 months of my pragnacy my boyfriend of 4 years had been cheating on me. FOR 3 MONTHS he slept with her. He even seen her and ****** her the day our daughter was born. But I did not find out about any of it untill 2 days after we brought our daughter home. I had a feeling the past couple months he was cheating but I could not bring myself to beleave it. So I finally figured it out, I was crushed, we were staying with my mother at the time and she kicked him out. Everyone ws angry with him. I cried and cried and seriously thought about breaking up with him but instead I wrote a list of rules and the most important one was he was not to ever see or talk to her again. Things got worse before they got better. A few months after that i had found out that he cheated on me with her for the whole two weeks after he was kicked out of my mothers. I decided to just put it in the past but I thought about it constantly. Well anyway almost a year later he has to take a trip to South Dakota where we used to live to get some of our stuff. Well at 3 am in mourning after being on the road for 3 hours he calls and says he is turning around and comming back because the car is acting up. So he gets home in a half hour. very weird. In the mourning I wake up to some chick texting him on his phone. He tries to lie and say he dont know who she is. So i text her and explain who i am and i want to know what is going on. She tells me she met him on live links chat line and he came to her house for a party for 3 hours. And while he was there he sent her a pic of his **** and kissed her goodbye. So i asked her to prove it and please send me the pic of his **** and she does! turns out it was a pic I had just taken!!!!!!!!! I was pissed but again I let it go. Now a few months later my boyfriend ends up in jail. And the opportunity came up for me to cheat on him and I was so angry I did cheat back. But it was horrible i hated the guy so i began to see a different guy. It was better but it still did not make me feel any better. i made myself feel like a ***** for sleeping with two men just to get back at my boyfriend. i ended up telling him and we fought for 3 weeks straight after he came home. Anyway 4 months later he tries to cheat on me with one of my good friends after we promised to be true to each other forever on. So anyway thats my story I am now pregnat again and 1 month away from ahving another child. i dont know how this relationship will turn out but I know that two wrongs dont make a right and I regret what I did. But I will never truly be able to trust him it seems like he just keeps doing it. I love him but it is hard. Mabey iam stupid like everyone says for staying with him but mabey iam not. I still think about her alot and what he did and iam sure he feels the same way. But why keep doing it.

recently i found out that one of my best friend's and my boyfriend hooked up a few times just a couple months ago. and we have been dating on and off for two years. We were definetly together when it happened. a few months ago my bf told that he hooked up with my friend at a party when they had both been drinking, he said it was a huge mistake and wasnt meant to happen, of course i forgave him because i had done something similar when we had broken up the first time a couple months before that. i was and am still so in love with him i forgave him because i felt guilty. today i found out by phoning that friend and forcing it out of her that they had hooked up twice more since he told me. one night being when he ditched me, i sat at home while he ****** my friend. I had to tell him i knew over an email, because he is away for a couple months, and it wasnt a nice email. i dont know what to do. i feel like getting completely trashed and beating the **** out of both of them.<br><br><br />
and hes so convincing and i love him so much but i will always be suspicious and accusing, that is if i forgive him. i really love him, more then anything, even more then myself sometimes. its going to be so hard to say i cant be with him ill always feel there is something missing, but i dont want to be with someone who justifies what he did, and who i will always feel guity to myself for being with him.<br><br><br />

If they cheat once they'll continue. You deserve better, man who will always be there for you.