So Sad

wow cant belive how much it all just hurts just thinking about how to put it all into words.here goes

well i have been with my boyfriend for 8 yrs now and i will start by saying i love him more than i ever thought was possible, but i guess in the end my love was not strong enough !!!!!

going back a couple of yrs my boyf cheated on me which left me heartbroken but i did manage to get over this (as much as you can) i decided that i loved him and didnt want to be without him and put it down to a very stupid mistake things got better between us but i guess the trust never really came back.

about 5 months ago he cheated again !!!! it was on a sat night about 5pm and i was just calling him to let him know i was gonna be going out that night. to my suprise a girl answered his mobile i thought for a couple of seconds i had called the wrong number i said hello is ***** there and she put the phone down, so i called straight back and my boyf answered suddenly it was like he was someone elses man and i didnt know what to say or how to feel and i was the one feeling embarassed

since then we have been trying to work things out or just see how it goes 5 months down the line and i still think about it every day

i feel so angry all the time i have just had enough of feeling like this

i still love him, but i just dont know how to get passed this. its making me ill !i just seem to cry all the time

when we are togther at home it feels perfect but as soon as either i leave the house or he does im just left thinking how do i know if he is up to anything every time he is on his mobile iam thinking he is texting another girl it driving me crazy and making me extreamly depressed

i just dont know what to do PLEASE HELP IF YOU HAVE A SIMILAR STORY OR WAYS OF GETTING OVER THE THINKING ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY

rach83 rach83
26-30
8 Responses Mar 2, 2009

Hey!

I feel the same. I was seeing a boy for about 8 month, we then decided to go official and label ourselves and bf & gf, even though we were basically that anyways. However after 4 weeks I found out he already had another girlfriend. I was heart broken.
Long story short, he split with her and we got back together. He said he didn't mean to fall in love with me but had. Everything was great until 2 years into the relationship he cheated, with his ex who is mentioned about.

I know constantly feel worried and paranoid. It drives me crazy. I'm always thinking he may be messaging her again or even little things such as checking her Facebook and IG.
I literally feel as though it's making me ill.
It's been nearly a year since him cheated but it still hurts just as much.

It's a horrible thing. And we have to have respect for ourselves. Everyone can make mistakes but there has to be a point where enough is enough.
Your not alone sister! <3

Hi rach83,
My story is total similar like yours. He also cheated at me twice. I forgave him first time and i cant do it again and again, I also want to forget him. I am bearing a lot of pain.Can you share what happens next? How much time you took to forget him? Please share .

i know exactly how you feel as well. My last boyfriend was my world, he cheated on me....even had the girl in our house as a friend at a party we had. You know how embaressing that was?<br />
The entire time she knew he was cheating, she flirted and even snuck off with him IN MY HOUSE!!!<br />
<br />
But yeah, because of that I don't trust anyone anymore...it was sooo hard leaving him honestly I didnt feel right in the head for about 2 years but now that I see his pathetic life Im so glad I am not apart it. The girl he cheated on me with, got pregnant 2 months after I broke it off with him. Now hes stuck with her and apparently she cheats on him all the time.<br />
<br />
I hope you make the right decision and figure out who you are apart from him and find someone who will truely love you...to only be with you!

it's hard to make that first step in breaking up but, in the long run...you'll be happier. you can begin to discover who you are again. trust me, it's a fun process lol at least it was for me. i am WAY less stressed out/worried...it was a hard decision to make because we have a child together, but i can definitely say i am a lot happier now than i would be if i would've stayed in the relationship.<br />
<br />
if you break up, it'll hurt for a bit. But, in time, it WILL get easier to be without him :)

Kinky Flower - the last part of your coment really got to me got me thinking and its so true !!my trouble is i know i would be happier in time without him but i just cant do it i love him so much we have tried being apart before i guess over the last 8 years ive given my whole self to him based my life around him i have no clue who i am anymore <BR>i feel the problem lies more within me, when we are together at home its great but as soon as he goes out(or even if his mobile rings) i get the horrible picture in my head of what they were doing i hate that i do this and i hate that i just cant seem to let go of it i dont know if talking to him about it would help or if it would just make me more angry and make it more real <BR>But thank you that statement will be well thought about today. x

thanks naveyvet i will say a prayer for you too x

if you can't trust him, then you can't ever truly be happy with him. as long as there is doubt in your mind your relationship will suffer. he's done it twice...that you know of. you deserve to be with someone you can trust with your whole heart and won't disrespect you by cheating on you. yes, it might hurt a bit to be without him...but if it hurts being with him, then what's the difference?

I did have a similar experience, I was in love w/ this gal, I thought the world of her & I was going to ask her to marry me. And as well, we agreed not to see anyone else.<br />
I was on my way over to her work to take her out to lunch, & maybe pop the question too. She was a hair stylist & worked in a small shop. As soon as I went in, the atmosphere change abruptly, all the girls were suddenly busy & not looking up to say hi like usual. I asked where she was & one mumbled "she's out at lunch..." The manager (a guy) was also out. So not thinking really anything then I took off to get lunch for myself. I took a different route just for the heck of it & there at a small out of the way motel is my girls car in the lot. Not so smart right? But this was a surprise luncheon date, she had no idea I took the day off from work. I stopped my truck, I was so damn upset & then I called the motel office & told them I was in unit so & so & I smelled gas. Then drove & parked directly across the street & waited. The police roll up & begin banging on doors, evacuating everyone & out they both come. Obviously they had dressed in a hurry. So I went back to her mom's house where we lived, packed my stuff & left. Never went back, or called; end of the line. Maybe I should have talked it out w/ her, I don't know. Maybe we could have fixed it but I was devastated & angry.<br />
I'm afraid I have never gotten over it, the pain. And as well, the "what if" I stayed & we got it together? That is the worst part of it...what if. It still bothers me even though this was years upon years ago. All I can say is that I use a prayer when it does resurface. It's kind of a catch-all prayer, but it works. Here it is:<br />
"I rebuke this thought in the name of Jesus Christ". That's it. It does help, give it a shot.