Can I Get Over Him Cheating????
I'm 30 years old and have been with my now ex husband for 12 years and have 3 children. My story is like one I've never heard before.
About a year a half ago my ex and I split up. He moved in with a younger female 1 day later. I was heart broken...... "so I thought"....... I didn't know what heart broken was until he told me everything. He began telling me about the 8 different girls that he cheated on me with, how he never loved me, how I was ugly, (in which I'm not). All sorts of cruel and ungodly things. He broke me down to the point that I hated him. Within a month he wanted a divorce. So he could marry this "new found love". We got divorced and I began to move on with my life. Once he saw that I was moving on and getting over him that's when the devil in him came out. He went into a rage! Breaking windows out of my car and house and threatening me.
Then he came to a point that he realized how much he truly loved me and how sorry he was. He called me every day crying and pleading that I would take him back. After 3 months of that I did. I thought we could work thru this and I could try to forgive him. That sounds so stupid. But we do have 3 children that were hurting a great deal. I thought it would be the best thing for my family. But now its been a little over a year since we have been back together and now I'm coming to a point that I can't shake all of the pain I feel. He hasn't cheated again (not that I know of). However I did find out after 6 months of us being back together that he was in contact with one of his flings that he had over a year affair with. And now 6 months later he stayed out half that night at a ***** club and spent 700.00. He thinks I should let the past go and get over it. I can't do that! But I don't want my kids to be put thru all of that pain again.
My ex husband says "if I wasn't going to let it go then I should have never taken him back". In a way I feel he is right but on the other hand how did I know that the pain a year later would be unbearable. I think about the cheating and all of the mean and nasty things he said to me (just to hurt me even more) all of the time. I feel like I'm coming out of my skin!!! Now that all of this has come to a head I have been very short with him, I don't have much to say to him, I don't want to have sex with him, I don't even want to be around him. I think he should be trying to make things right even more now but all I get is the opposite. Now he is telling me that if I don't start changing the way I act then things are going to be over. (how selfish of him) I feel so empty inside and I don't know what the right thing to do is. I don't ever want to feel as if I failed as a parent. There is a lot more to this story. I could write pages of all the bad crap I have had to deal with because of him. However he can be one of the best men I have ever known. Sometimes I think he is bipolar or something... idk.... I know anyone reading this must think I should win the most stupid woman of the year award. But I guess you have to have been there and done that to fully understand why I stay.