For Worse Or For Better....

I met my husband when I was barely 16, he was 4 years older than I and definitely my first love. He moved in with me and my single mother not long after we started dating and became my rock and my best friend. We were both young and had a very immature relationship at first, I mean come on I was in high school. We worked through and truly did love on another and knew that we couldn't "live" without each other. A few years into our relationship he became very angry all the time and started treating me terribly, He had before but I always found reasons why It was my fault. Looking back now I know that it definitely wasn't. I broke up with him and moved on to someone knew but couldn't stop thinking about him, I used that as my sign that I was supposed to be with him forever. I got back with him and found out I was pregnant with the other mans baby. But he didn't care, he was there through the whole pregnancy, the birth, and in her life and a GREAT daddy for 16 months. We got maried  a little before my daughter was born and I was truly happy. I had the family I had always wanted and truly believed he was a wonderful, hardworking man. I found out a month after we got married that he had an affair with my cousin, I know it should have been over then but for some reason I felt that God wanted to me to work through it with him and move on, he was truly a great husband at the time (i thought) and an even greater dad to our daughter. We have been married for almost 16 months, but 3 months ago he changed, he starrted ignoring me and our daughter and definitely became somebody else. He would never talk to me and started putting me down just about every day. I made exuses for him that it was just his heavy work load and all of the hours he had been putting in. When I started gradually watching him change into a different man I immidiately became what I thought was the most amazing wife ever, when in fact I was just his maid, house keeper and major butt kisser. After awhile it started getting to me and I finally started telling him how i felt about how he was treating me, he would turn it around to be my fault or just call me a nag which he said made me a bad wife. I lost myself trying to please him and I could feel it and became angry. One day after trying to plead with him about how bad I needed him to be the husband he used to be and that I could tell he didn't love me anymore. He used to be so caring and understanding and I knew something was going on but he wouldn't talk to me. After calling me a nag he kicked me out of the house, our 16 month old daughter and I , we had nothing but a car and a cell phone, nowhere to go and no money in my pocket. I started staying with a friend and became very depressed, I knew it was my fault for being a "nag" i should have kept my mouth shut about how I felt becaue then he'd still be with us. He stopped talking to me completely for almost a WHOLE WEEK. asked nothing abotu our daughter. Last week he said he wanted to make things work for our child and us that he loved me and when he got back from a job he was doing last week on friday I coudl move back in and we would seek immediate marriage couseling. I was ecstatic! Our daughter and I missed him so much! I talked to him all week about how excited we both were to start over and gain our marriage back and be the best husband and wife we knew we could be together. Thursday night he called and said he loved us so very much and couldn't wait to see me the next day and he "went to bed" 2 hours later i start getting phone calls from friends in another town that he's seeing someone else. I had to know for myself so I asked who she was and I e-mailed her..she said they were happy and to leave them alone when 2 horus before he was telling me loved me and our daughter!!! I was so upset that he played with my heart like that. I am 21 and know that I have my whole life ahead of me but it is tough...Ever sincei found out 3 days ago I haven't heard from him since, he wants to sign all rights off on our daughter and wants to move in with this girl who is 19! I just wish he would have told me and given me closure, Guess I have to find my own. I miss him and look back and can't understand why he would choose somebody like this girl when I was his WIFE..I'm so hurt and have started teh mourning process and cannot wait to get to restoring my life. My pride is hurt. Then today I got a call from a friend saying that My husband has been trying to get her to sleep with him. WHERE DID MY HUSBAND GO?! can men change JUST like that?!?! I guess I just have to pray because as we all know, we can ONLY change ourselves. It hurst knowing he's with somebody else but a part of me can't understand why he would leave our daughter! She loved him and he truly was her daddy and best friend. I keep searching and trying to understand what I did wrong ...I know I need to let go....
tessasmo320 tessasmo320
22-25
Jul 18, 2010