In Love With My Ex Husband

I am a very strong Christian and do not believe in divorce. I left my husband 18 months ago to move into an apartment just 10 mins away so that we could work on our marriage. I was a stay at home mom and he was controlling and I was scared to talk to him. Our marriage councelor also thought it was best to work on the marriage seperate, since I was sooo intimidated by him. He asked me to move back in 5 months later, but he had still not made 100% progress, so I said we needed just a little more time. I left more than half my stuff at our home because I had every intent to move back in. Since I did not move back in by the deadline he gave, he moved forward with a divorce. I was devestated but there was nothing I could do.
I have since built my own home just 2 miles away from him so our two girls could be close to him and I have been very successful in my new career. I have grown tremendously and believe I can now stand up for myself.
We are both in new relationships, but I am completey in love with my ex husband. I miss him, and I want our family back together. There has not been one day that I have not thought of him or miss him terribly. I am with someone that is wonderful to me and my girls and also very successful. But I am settling, because I know I will never love someone the way I love my exhusband. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't want it to backfire.
I know he still cares for me I see him looking me up all the time for example on my LinkedIn account. I am lost without this man. I love him! I am so proud of myself for everything I have ccomplished, but I want to just share my success with him. What do I do? everyday is a struggle....
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

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