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I Can't Seem To Let Him Go And I'm So Miserable.

Me and my ex broke up about 7 months ago. we were're together for 5 years, from when we were fourteen till nineteen. I just can't seem to let go of him' i think about him all the time. I did meet him a few times after we split and it just broke my heart every time. i even started seeing another guy cause i thought it might help but it didn't. now i drink every night to ease the pain. i can't seem to handle every day life anymore without him. i miss him soo much and i know i am so young and i have everything ahead of me. But he was my whole world, everything. I just feel like there is nothing now. Not without him. Please help me let this go. It is dead and buried and I just can't over him even though he is over me.

clairedoch clairedoch 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 29, 2009

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i couldnt get over my ex. i am an EXAHOLIC. i found a site called exaholics.com. spread the word ..it helped me

ok well i know what ur going threw cause my ex and i was also 5 years together and we been apart for 3 months and i sucks alot and it hurts like hell.<br />
i cant seem to get my mind off of him, i sleep with his shirts and lay on what use to be the side of his bed and nothing helps but i learned to move on even tho im alone and he has someone else.<br />
he moved on as soon as we broke up while im here suffering but it isn't fair but i have to live with the idea that he is never coming back to me.<br />
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all i can say is that drinking n getting with guys is only gonna hurt more let ur heart mend...♥

What it sounds like, is that you're not over him.<br />
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And I will not say drink those times away. I will not say forget your past to start fresh.<br />
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The past is the past. You cannot change that. You can alter your present and future, but not the past.<br />
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You can learn from the past, but you can't change it. You can forget the past, but you can't erase it. You can live in the past, and forget to truly live.<br />
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You mention how you have your whole life before you. Yes you do. Accept that. When it comes down to whether or not the next day is even a possibility, wouldn't you rather have happy memories?<br />
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Do you have happy memories? Can you cherish them for the joy they brought to you, and they joy they will bring to you in years of time when the heart ache is not so fresh?<br />
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Take a step back. Reassess what you know. Form a logical conclusion. If you want to get anywhere, you need to grieve without throwing yourself into an early grave (meaning no drinking yourself to sleep) and move on.<br />
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I can tell you what works for me, but that doesn't mean it will work for you. You can take this advice and follow it as best you can, using some path already traveled, and finding some path for yourself. Or you can ignore it and go back into a shell where just feeling miserable is better than feeling nothing at all.<br />
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For me, feeling nothing at all for a little while feels a gigantic amount better than trying to grieve for months on and on.<br />
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Go out. Do things again. Don't try to complicate things with another relationship or sex. Relax, unwind, grieve.