I Can't Have Children.

When I was perpetually abused by my boyfriend's dad at the age of 16 (ironically my boyfriend was underage and I was still a virgin so we were going to wait for each other to be ready), I was unaware I had caught something until I got dragged to the sexual health clinic by my best friend at the time. I was never aware that what I had caught would prevent me from having children until my first miscarriage, just after I turned 17. I wasn't irresponsible, all the necessary protection was used, but it just didn't work. The father of the child committed suicide shortly after my miscarriage, which was when I was told I would never have children at all. Then, I came home from a Christmas party last year, to find my fiance putting holes in condoms, him having been of the opinion that our broken relationship would be fixed by a little surprise, me having already miscarried one of his children. Needless to say, the deceit did the exact opposite of his intentions, we broke up immediately. Now I'm with someone who also can't have kids, in fact, he's petrified by children. He's quite a bit my senior, too, so he's had a vasectomy... He split up with his wife because she wanted children. And I know it's a tad extreme, but that's helped me out quite a bit. He's brilliant with kids, he's responsible, he just also knows that he could never cope with a full time child of his own, which should have been my attitude. I'm of the opinion I'll stay with this man for the rest of my life, so there's no need to get worked up about not being able to have children of my own... In a way, he's taken the burden off me, I didn't have to explain when we got serious that I would never be able to have his children, because he wouldn't have wanted me to, even if I could. I love him for that, he saved me from feeling I was damaged goods.
pidgeon1991 pidgeon1991
18-21
Nov 18, 2010