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The Hardest Decision of My Life......

Six year ago (approx) I had a bad fall which rsulted in me breaking parts of my back and severly displaced my right hip.... I am fine now to the point where I walk how any one does, but I have issues with my right hip and my back gives me grief and aches after too much use.... most ofthe time... I have a cane and have been known to have to use it more often than not...

I don't care about any of the above when it comes to the daily difficulties I face - it is no ones fault and it is not too bad to live with.... but it impairs me from having a child...

The displacement of my right hip means that the chances of carrying full-term are les than 0.05%. The expected outcome would be that I would carry into my second trimester and then my body would reject the child giving it no chance of survival....

If I do by that small chance carry and give birth to a beautiful son or daughter, then my chances of surviving are less than 20% due to the pressure on my spine an the complications this would cause. If I did survive, then I would more than likely be paralysed and that damage is unknown... The older I am, the worse the damage could be, i am 30 now and single, by the time i start thinking about children it could be too late anyway....

Could  bring up a child like that? knowing that during their childhood they would spend more time helping me and looking after me than me doing those things for them? I am in independent person and I would want my child/children to have the best life, not a life of caring for me...

Therefore the decision I have made and am happy to live with is that I will adopt a child when i get to the stage of wanting a child. I have had it in my head that i will never have children but if I change my mind, I will adopt a child that has not had a good chance in life which will allow me to give the love I have and be threfore them the way any mother would, whole-heartedly and with true commitment to their happiness. I hope that I can make a difference in that way and be in good enough health to enjoy it and make their life better...

 

GothAngel GothAngel 26-30, F 10 Responses Jan 24, 2008

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It's really insensitive to this person's story, that you comment with an advertisement. You clearly didn't even read the story. Troll...

While I was reading that I was judging you. When you started up with those statistics I thought that it was as simple as you believing that the risks you would have to take to be happy were too high and so you would content yourself with being unhappy because you are afraid of death. That was until I got to the end and realised that perhaps you were calculating the risks and making an informed decision. Bravo to you :D

Thank you, you guys - everyone on here is so sweet - thank you xxx

I don't have much to give the world on the outside surface of me.... all I have is whats in my heart...

You sound a pretty amazing person it shows that what matters is under the skin as much if not more than surface appearances

Thank you all for your kind words, it is appreciated.

My husband and I have one bio child. After years of not having more we became foster parents. In March 2006 we were blessed to adopt a beautiful little girls. Many people comment how "lucky" she is to have us. But I don't see it that was. I am the blessed one. I didn't carry her for 9 months, but she is all mine just the same.<br />
Adoption is beautiful. When you decided to bring motherhood into your life you and your adopted child will be blessed.

This is a very impressive post. You seem like a very smart and very caring person. Good luck with your plans.

I wish no one to feel sorry for me - I have made me decision and I am more than happy with it - there are far too many unwanted and unloved children in this world and if I can make a difference to just one of them and give them the love, support and retain my mobility to enjoy life with them, then I shall...

THank you for sharing this difficult story and subject! Perhaps you just gave someone else a "bit of light" that's going through similar experience! Sounds like if you do opt to adopt in the future, there will be ONE LUCKY child in this world! :)