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Jealousy Has The Best Of Me, What Can I Do??

I was diagnosed infertile when I took a fertility test 3 years ago. My specialist says its due from chemo, when I had leukemia. I have not been able to accept it, I cry myself to sleep, asking God what I did wrong why he gave me such a curse.
My sister in law has 2 children, my younger sister thinks she's pregnant, and ALL my friends are on their 2nd baby. I am so jealous that I can't stand to be around children if I do, I cry. If I hear that someone is pregnant I automatically dislike them. I don't want to be this type of person. But I'm afraid jealousy has got the best of me. I hate myself for it.
I just don't know how to cope with it, my husband and can't adopt we will never be able to afford it, as well as in vitro. I just need to learn and accept it. But I don't know if I can...
Are there any ways to help me cope??
abilene8907 abilene8907 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 4, 2012

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I'm going through the same problems with jealousy. I'm so angry at every pregnant woman I see. I'm so distant with children. As if its somehow their fault. It's so wrong. It's so horribly wrong of me. But God do I understand what you're going through, Abilene. Just breathe, we can get through it.

hey i know how you feel i found out about 6months ago i cant have children and since then both my sisters have fallen pregnant all my friends seem to be settling down and having kids and all i see is people pushing buggies around i think i notice them more now i know i cant have kids than what i did before i think the only way you will get through this is by talking to people who are goingthrough the same thing maybe try and find a support group in your area or something like that hope this helps

Hug*