I Just Keep Hoping

 Hello everyone, I am new to this experience board. I am 33 years old have a great marriage, a college degree and the best friends and family anyone could ask for. There is one thing missing....a child. My husband and I tried for 4 years, had every test run imaginable, and was told I couldn't have children. I can't afford expensive drugs so I am in limbo. It has been two years since the doctor told us we can;t have kids and I just can't seem to stop hoping. Every month I have a large breakdown when (even know I know its coming) my monthly visitor comes. Furthermore I find myself in the baby department while shopping looking at baby items I know I can only buy for other people.  Does anyone else find themselves doing this? Have you figured out ways to keep yourself from doing this? 

Karesch Karesch
31-35
2 Responses Feb 10, 2009

I know and understand your pain completely at times I feel so lost and alone I don't know what to do with myself. I'm 30 years old and have been married for 10 years we have been trying for over 2 years now have kids with no luck. i to find myself wondering through the childrens department to make matters worse my little sister just had a baby a month ago. I am jealous beyond belief and I am so angry with myself for being so jealous. I can't tell you how many times I've asked why I'm being punished what did I do? Me and my husband have decided to start the adoption process we want to give a child that has no home a laoving family. Maybe were not being punished maybe there is a special child out there for both of us.

In response to the 1st email and medical science we have considered IVT and are trying to save for it. At present our insurance doesn't cover it and it is $6000 a treatment. Considering the cost of the procedure at this time we cannot afford it.