Buying Beer and No Need For Id

A few months ago, I needed to return the favor for neighbor computer guru who added some software to my laptop. He wouldn't take money, but his wife told me his favorite beer.

While I've never paid anyone in beer before, I thought, "Oh well, no big deal. There's a first for everything."

I went to Wal-Mart. Found the specialty brand. It was on sale, so I bought even more.

Went to check-out stand where the horror began. Had my ATM and ID in hand ready to go and then began to watch the clerk way too closely. First, she skipped through one screen. Then, another. Then, totalled my order and asked for me to please scan my card.

No ID was requested. Instead of leaving matters alone, I had to know what this "screen skipping" was all about. So, I asked. Stupid me. The polite clerk was all too eager to explain the store policy: if the customer looks over 27, you can skip the first screen. I was fine with that. (I turned 45 and fully aware that I don't look under 27.) But, here's where the pain started to hurt: she continued: "If you're OBVIOUSLY OVER 40, then I skip the second screen too and I'm ready to have the customer pay." No ID was needed, in other words.

I was sorry I asked. I looked behind me. A single man. Maybe somewhere near my age with a huge smirk on his face. He has no idea how near death he was about to become if he did not wipe that stupid grin off his face immediately.

So, I said: You mean all these years of taking care of myself with stupid skincare regimes, expensive this, that, moisturizers, toners, facials, etc. etc. have been in vain and basically a huge waste of money and precious time?

She felt bad. So, she dug a deeper hole. She said: Well, no, it really didn't have much to do with your looks. It was more the way you acted.

I was confused. Sure, we had had a short conversation. She had asked if I liked this beer. I explained that I really didn't drink much. Never tasted this beer. Buying for a friend who did computer work for me. Blah, blah, blah.

She explained more. Deeper hole: Well, it was actually the way you spoke. You sound like a teacher. (I am not.) You use proper English.

So confused, frustrated, and just wanting to go to my car and end this experience, I longed for the receipt. She kept talking. She was trying to console me. The man behind me kept smirking. I glared at him.

Hoping to end this horrible scene, I said: It's really no big deal. May I please just have the receipt. I understand. You were just doing your job. And you're right. I'll turn 45 soon.

I reached my car and started thinking. I wanted to take the beer back in the store and try another clerk. Except this time, slam the six packs on the counter, cussing about have f***k'in heavy they were, tell her that they "ain't got enough Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat beer so now's I'm gonna have to drive somewhere's else to find some more. And, then, (here's the grand finale), spit right on the floor by the checkstand.

Then would I have been ID'd for looking like maybe age 30, 35, 38? hee hee hee hee

I guess, from what I learned, you are what you are. I probably won't ever get carded at Wal-Mart on my next beer buying excursion!

trappedwithoutbars trappedwithoutbars
46-50, F
6 Responses Feb 11, 2009

I remember the very month and year I turned a legal 21 and they changed legal to 18!!! It did not last long. At least I think you have to be 21 now , I don't know!!!

Funny Stuff!!!!<br />
<br />
HS~

Dear Shortguy, <br />
<br />
No, you are correct. I don't care! lol. <br />
<br />
You mentioned the most ironic part though: I have a guy (my spouse) who every once in awhile tells me how nice I look or how beautiful he thinks I am and how much how "lucky" he feels to be with me and yet I live in a sexless marriage? <br />
<br />
Shall I talk to the checkout clerk about that too besides the obvious failures of my skincare regime? lol<br />
<br />
Maybe I better catch her on her next "break." It's a long, long story................:)<br />
<br />
Thanks for your input. <br />
<br />
Btw

Great story...from a feminine point of view about what makes you feel good about yourself. <br />
<br />
If a guy thought you were gorgeous and wanted to be with you no matter what your age or how you looked, would really care what some checkout clerk thinks?

Dear Dizzi,<br />
<br />
You know I've never been afraid of my age. It's a number. Pure and simple. I certainly would not want to go back, that's for sure except for only to correct some big mistakes I made, financial ones, when I was too young to know any better. <br />
<br />
But that's how I learned so much. <br />
<br />
I'm glad you were able to smile, the guy behind me should be lucky he still has his life (hee hee hee), and everything's okay. <br />
<br />
I have a wireless printer to hook up to a router system that I need my friend's help with, so it looks like I'll be buying some more beer again. <br />
<br />
I'm trying out a new face cream regimen, so this should be an interesting test! No, not really. I'll still act the way I always do. I can promise you I won't get ID'd. That's the way it is and I make no apologies.<br />
<br />
I'm an older mom and it's interesting to watch the much younger ones in my son's elementary school. I feel so confident and "together" as I watch them "frazzled" and yelling about this and that. This is not to be meant as a stereotype. Some of the young ones handle motherhood very well and have their act together. In my 20's and early 30's, a school age child would have had me worn out and frazzled because I worked so many hours. I would have been one of the ones "unorganized and yelling!" ha! Each to his own. For me, doing the "real" career thing first was the best move.<br />
<br />
So, older I am. But, secure and confident as well. (But don't think I'm perfect....I'd still be tickled to death if the clerk asked for my ID! ha!)<br />
<br />
Btw

that's funny....I know how you feel...I just had a b-day recently too. I know I don't look old. But I guess I don't look young lol.....