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Can't Find My Niche In Our Society

Sorry if this is long; thanks to anyone kind enough to take the time for it.

I had a normal childhood other than being targeted for bullying by female classmates starting in middle school. I've never been into things like gossip and drama, so I guess that makes me an easy target. That was first sign of problems I'd eventually have in the workplace.

Despite excellent grades and a high intelligence, I barely managed to graduate high school. By senior year, I had completed all but 2 required classes and had no choice but to fill my schedule with electives where we watched movies to fill the time. I've always had a problem with wasting time, so it was awful to sit there doing nothing all day when I could have been productive elsewhere. Somehow I scraped by and started college, where things improved at first. It all fell apart when I took a restaurant hostess job to help pay off loans. Up until then, I'd done stuff like freelance work or helping out with my mom's side business when I needed money, so this was my first normal job.

I went into it enthusiastically and treated everyone with kindness and respect, but that didn't help when most of the girls I worked with bullied me because I wasn't interested in mean gossip/backstabbing, or chatting for hours about reality tv. And when you're required to spend long periods of time doing nothing, you start to think about your life. I felt like a drain on society, being paid $8 an hour to do a job that didn't allow me to contribute anything in return. Add to this an unpredictable schedule and a boss that wouldn't compromise, making classes impossible at the same time. A month into it, a woman accidentally hit me while I was driving to work. My boss let me go because of the injuries and I was secretly relieved to leave the job.

A few months later, I planned to move and continue college in another state. But I had to save up money first, so I took a job at a retail store. The same problems from before came back, but now I had trouble being on my feet for long times without fainting, as well as headaches. The injuries had supposedly healed so my doctors acted like it was all in my head or just wanted to push drugs like benzos. Physical stress/pain plus dealing with even worse cruelty from female coworkers piled up to the point where it was unbearable and I spent the breaks crying in my car. A family member in another state offered me a trade job working with glass, so I quit and moved.

People were saying I was lazy because I couldn't keep an "easy" service job and that I wouldn't last at this either, but it turned out differently. I loved working alone in a quiet studio, not having to worry about things like being required to make small talk with people, and getting paid for the amount and quality of work I did as opposed to standing around doing nothing. That was the first job I had that I kept for a decent amount of time. When the economy turned, so did the job and I was let go because there was not enough work or money to pay me.

After that, I made ends meet for a year by selling vegetable seeds and plants online, but sales have dropped to nothing as the economy worsens. I can't find any contractors or tradesmen that would let me help out either because all of them are struggling too. The only jobs available here are corporate service jobs. Right now I'm living with family, but can't stay here forever. I'm running out of money and know how dire my situation will be soon but still can't keep one of those jobs longer than a couple weeks. Out of desperation, I even tried for disability for the standing issue and headaches at least until I can find another trade, but there's no way I'll be approved before my savings have run out.

Even if I do tough it out and manage to finish a college degree, I'd probably just be stuck in an equally miserable office job, contributing just as little to the world. I see how most Americans live and how unhappy they are, always trying to escape from reality with things like television, pills, or junk food, and I can't live like that. My dream is to work with organic food sources and medicinal plants, as part of a self sustaining community; I have friends in Brazil and Peru living this kind of lifestyle and I'd love to try it out for at least a year, but can't even afford to travel there because I'm unable to keep a source of income long enough to fund it. I'm trying to find a similar community here in the US as an alternative while still looking for a contractor that would allow me to help out part time with some kind of physical trade type work so I can have an income again. There HAS to be something out there and I'll keep struggling to have a meaningful, happy life if I have to die trying.

Our society has gotten more and more narrow, and the types of jobs and lifestyles available have as well. Not everyone fits into the statistical majority mold and when you take away the other molds, some of us will suffer. That's bad enough on its own, but then people have to add salt to the wound by calling us "lazy" or being judgemental. Maybe they're just secretly miserable with their own lives and get relief by taking it out on someone else that's different. I just hope I can either find my niche in our society or survive long enough to find another one where my strengths are appreciated.
ilovecats102 ilovecats102 22-25, F 23 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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Very good story.

Relax your only in your early 20's you'll find it soon enough.

I have close to the same problem things you say ring true with me as we'll. People around me just keep telling me to suck it up or grit through the job but that is obviously not working. I was also in a car crash I do not have any after effects from it all though the accident should of killed me. After that college personal life went down the drain.

Have you tried an Amish lifestyle? Or considered the Peace Corps?

I love your story.. I've had some of those same struggles, square peg society says must force me into a round hole...... and I have been in the workforce for decades...I am highly intelligent, which I think is part of the problem I have with common everyday backstabbers with average to below average IQ's Women co-workers are the worst! I've got ADHD which does not help either, so I most definitely don't fit into the mold!
Anyway my best wishes to you. Perhaps try building a small business at something your good at....That's what I was trying to do...until the economy crashed in 2008 and I lost my day job in August of 2008...not enough money to start a business on the side since.

I hope you have better luck too.

I know how you feel. I hate backstabbing people. And when I don't participate in those things, people don't know how to deal with me. I like to find good, just, proper solutions to problems so I do not mind talking about the problems at the many jobs I've had, but as soon as I say anything my co-workers twist it, take it to management and stab me in the back. I can't fit in, even though my skills and knowledge are in very high demand, even in this bad economy. But then when I get to another job nowadays the co-workers are overly agressive to have me train them and managers tell them to "Pick my Brain" which I don't mind since I like helping people. But after a while I realize it's exploitive, say something, and next thing ya know I'm out the door. Whenever I get creative and begin to feel success, managers or co-workers step in the way and sabatoge me for fear of me being better than them or being too successful. I had a manager once who told me I was "Too Good". I'm a Christian and love Jesus so I don't fear any man. Nor do I fear the loss of jobs. So I just bounce from job to job and let the chips fall where they may. But my wife hates my instability so it's not good. We've moved way too many times and now the kids are in school and don't want to move, although I'm ready again. Still in between jobs and not stressing, but wife is so it's not really fun. Plus I hate sitting around. Society is bad when it doesn't make useful work available. I feel like we're getting to be a poorer country and forms of slavery are re-appearing. Anyway, now I'm rambling but I know where you're coming from. I think I'd like to do temp work so bouncing around isn't unexpected. Maybe you can find some temp work too. I'd like to work maybe 2 or 3 months in one place, not more. That way expectations of stability aren't there. Have you considered website design, it can be pretty artistic. I'm gonna try my own business soon and gonna build my own website, using Linux. But the selection of colors / images is something sounds like you'd do well. Getting out of this country is a good idea. If you're young, go for it. I hear places like Finland, Norway, Sweden let you right in and once you've worked there a while, let you stay. These Not So "United" States peaked some time ago, like the 50's. Or you could try different states here, some are better than others. I'm partial to Seattle, WA but stuck somewhere else for now. Best wishes. It's not you, it's the bad culture, it's gotten evil. Look upward. Bye -JJS

You might want to look into the community, Arcosanti.<br />
<br />
It is a few hours north of Phoenix, Arizona and their entire focus is about Arcosanti is an urban<br />
laboratory focused on pursuing lean alternatives to urban sprawl through innovative design with<br />
environmental accountability.<br />
<br />
I'm pretty sure that if you volunteer there, they allow you to live there for free. Not sure if it's paid, but maybe you could interest them in your seeds and plants business. Just a thought. Hope this helps! I graduated college in December 2010 and have already been let go from two jobs. My soul naturally rejected the first one. The second one had a toxic environment with a boss who would condescend and belittle me every day for five months. I finally had enough and stood up to her in a respectful manner and then she made an emotional decision to fire me. <br />
<br />
I feel so much stronger going through these experiences. They say our best teachers in life are the ones who challenge us the most though. Good luck with finding your path in life!

Hi people, <br />
<br />
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with life although it does make me happy to know we are in the same team. Long story short I moved 6 years ago from Colombia to Canada(Montreal) and since then I've changed job 16 times, went into 5 different university programs, lived in 13 different houses with 31 different roomates, had around 30 intimate partners and now I'm 30 and as lost as ever... I'll get some more psychological help and I'm lloking for another job and hoping to keep it or else I'll get kicked out of my gf's place. So, good luck to all of you, I'm sure we would all be very good live friends so let me say that i love you all and that our spot in the world exists. Peace !!!!!!!!!!

did the same thing!<br />
All this talk, and no one came with a solution!<br />
<br />
I came to understand, that ALL people have issues!<br />
<br />
The only thing we can do, is realize that we're stuck with each other, and we should learn to make it work!<br />
The reason why people can't relate to other people is because there are underlying things that need to be solved!<br />
<br />
One of the greatest problems of our society today is relational issues! We grew up 'drugging' ourselves not to face reality, and avoid unpleasant moments.<br />
Each and every one of us has this little world they've created to 'get away from it all'.<br />
Be it in real hard or soft drugs, alcohol, computer games, tv, dancings, or something that can just ****** us away from reality to make us feel better.<br />
And we've became more and more dependent upon it!<br />
So much even that when a time arrives, where we have to work extra hours, and work 6 or 7 days, we all break down.<br />
<br />
The underlying issues of many is lack of time to get to know each other.<br />
<br />
Once you all realize you're stuck with each other, and no amount of bitching, and lying, and backstabbing is going to change anything, only then you'll kind of understand that perhaps it is better to lie in bed with a friend than a foe!<br />
<br />
We all lack communicative skills, and the time to build bridges. And though for some these bridges may come fast, for others they are left out and most vulnerable.<br />
The more friends you have in a job, the better!<br />
Having at least one friend in a job, makes life easier!<br />
There's a biblical saying of "1 man shall slay a thousand, two shall make a legion flee". The combined effort of 2 people in unity are more than two people in disunity.<br />
<br />
Many people who can't keep jobs, suffer from an illness called ADD. (Some ADHD).<br />
People with ADHD usually are seen as fools, daring and doing stupid things, often caught into trouble. People with ADD are usually the opposite, not daring, or only daring because of fear of consequences. <br />
I personally have ADD. There are some spiritual, emotional, and physical cures for this disease!<br />
Primarily add Omega 3 (found in fish) and a lot of water to your diet!<br />
It will clean your system of toxics that may be found in the body (including the brain).<br />
Secondary, take time off to meditate. Think about things, be in quiet places.<br />
I personally listen to God at that time, and 'receive good' (out of lack of any other way to say it), and it helps me personally a lot, but I would understand if you don't believe in God, you may not have much with this.<br />
However, even people that don't believe in God, there are ways to overcome.<br />
During your meditation you could think about what good you could do to someone?<br />
Perhaps bring a small gift to the office, like a box of chocolates, or rehearse a new friendly and warm greeting to a colleague.<br />
Find yourself, what do you like, and learn that. Also learn about social skills, find out about it online, and if you're really persistent you'll find answers to your questions just by googling! "Google will be your friend"; it may reveal weaknesses of your own character and work ethnic that you where previously unaware of!<br />
<br />
Another side of the story is to learn not to judge others like you have been judged!<br />
One of the most difficult things is to be blamed for something, learn to overcome it, and then CHOOSE NOT to blame someone else with the same issues as you yourself had before!<br />
<br />
Meditation and gaining information (another biblical phrase:"My people 'perish' because of lack of knowledge" applies here) are a great step towards a good future!<br />
<br />
But all this searching, and gaining knowledge is very straining!<br />
For myself, I generally go to God, and receive! It's a practice I've been doing for many years now, and when I feel depressed or down, God can charge me in a way that by the time I arrive at my job, all doubts are gone, and I have a general 'happyness' around me!<br />
Truly, being happy radiates from you! If people see you're unhappy, they will start feeling unhappy around you, and will not want to be around you neither!<br />
And for me, I can only find happiness in God.<br />
I know many who can only find happiness in other things like going out a night of drinking, or polishing their motor bike or car, or just taking the kids out to an amusement park!

I don't know what to say...I googled "why can't I keep a job" and was gobsmacked by what came up! <br />
My heart bleeds for all the people who have posted these way too familiar situations/feelings...my mind is screaming "I AM NOT ALONE!!!" Thank you to everyone for sharing. As for me, I am 51 years old and have had many if not all of the same problems. I would welcome anyone who wishes to contact me for a rant on this topic.

Hi everyone,<br />
<br />
I completely identify with each of your stories and empathize to the fullest extent possible.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if these issues apply to any of you, but I'm a lifelong sufferer of ADD/ADHD with a blend of anxiety and depression. I thankfully graduated from college, and had a few interesting or great jobs that placed me in Washington, D.C., and, believe it or not, in various places across sub-Saharan Africa, where I lived for a year. I started a nonprofit that is poised to deliver some amazing services in Africa.<br />
<br />
But guess what -- I can't hold down a job. I mean any job. The only jobs I've ever enjoyed or held for long periods of time were in Africa, where people treated me decently (this probably had something to do with my skin color, but, oh, well). So that narrows my frustration to jobs I've held in America, where I've done retail, call centers, office work, store move-ins, and all kinds of temp work.<br />
<br />
My experience has been much the same as ilovecats102: I can't stand the gossip, drama, or simple-minded pursuits of other people. I've always had my interests and thrilled to talk about them. These interests include politics, history, art, and not much else, because I take life seriously. I don't like to discuss the latest TV show, because I try not to watch a lot of TV.<br />
<br />
I've found that boredom, frustration, and A LOT of social anxiety have forced me out of jobs in America. I can be friends and "make nice" with most people, but the backstabbing, hidden agendas, and cold or rude behavior from my superiors shut me down emotionally.<br />
<br />
My last job promised to pay great and had me doing PR work for an important charity. Sounds great, right? Except my boss had no problem whatsoever in burning me publicly (and we worked in tightly packed cubicles, and she sat next to me -- so imagine this for yourself). I know for a fact that her BFF frequently traded info about me with her and would make snide comments about me in front of others.<br />
<br />
Now, I'm a relatively sensitive guy. Others describe me as "sweet" and "caring." I don't like to burn others publicly and care about the quality of my work. So what am I to do when someone or a cadre of people treat me so negatively? Like many of you, I don't take it well. And these qualities -- in addition to depression and social anxiety in past jobs -- prevented me from doing the best work.<br />
<br />
So, what to do? I'm jobless and living at home, and trying to figure out my next move. Do I join the Peace Corps and return to Africa? Should I join the Army or Air Force? Or should I say to hell with it, get a teaching certificate, and try law school? Lawyers make excellent money but it's a ***** to go through law school (for reasons related to debt and social stress). Or should I try to start my own business...?<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if any of you still read this forum, or how often you do, but have you ever considered starting your own business? It sounds like ilovecats102 found a few niches for herself. I ask because I'm starting to come to two conclusions:<br />
<br />
1) It takes being clever, conniving, and sometimes heartless in order to survive in this unforgiving social caste that we've established in America<br />
<br />
2) Some people aren't destined to work for other people -- and that may not be a bad thing; it often indicates high levels of intelligence, creativity, and thoughtfulness, which our society may be forgiven for not always valuing<br />
<br />
Remember these American maxims: Time is money. Greed is good. Money gets you everything... Right?<br />
<br />
Or not. My advice (to myself as much as to each of you, if you read this): Find what you're good at and find a way to make a buck off it. Just my two cents.<br />
<br />
If you wish to reach me, feel free to contact me at anchor.content.services@gmail.com. It might be good to talk to someone in the same situation.

Hi everyone,<br />
<br />
I completely identify with each of your stories and empathize to the fullest extent possible.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if these issues apply to any of you, but I'm a lifelong sufferer of ADD/ADHD with a blend of anxiety and depression. I thankfully graduated from college, and had a few interesting or great jobs that placed me in Washington, D.C., and, believe it or not, in various places across sub-Saharan Africa, where I lived for a year. I started a nonprofit that is poised to deliver some amazing services in Africa.<br />
<br />
But guess what -- I can't hold down a job. I mean any job. The only jobs I've ever enjoyed or held for long periods of time were in Africa, where people treated me decently (this probably had something to do with my skin color, but, oh, well). So that narrows my frustration to jobs I've held in America, where I've done retail, call centers, office work, store move-ins, and all kinds of temp work.<br />
<br />
My experience has been much the same as ilovecats102: I can't stand the gossip, drama, or simple-minded pursuits of other people. I've always had my interests and thrilled to talk about them. These interests include politics, history, art, and not much else, because I take life seriously. I don't like to discuss the latest TV show, because I try not to watch a lot of TV.<br />
<br />
I've found that boredom, frustration, and A LOT of social anxiety have forced me out of jobs in America. I can be friends and "make nice" with most people, but the backstabbing, hidden agendas, and cold or rude behavior from my superiors shut me down emotionally.<br />
<br />
My last job promised to pay great and had me doing PR work for an important charity. Sounds great, right? Except my boss had no problem whatsoever in burning me publicly (and we worked in tightly packed cubicles, and she sat next to me -- so imagine this for yourself). I know for a fact that her BFF frequently traded info about me with her and would make snide comments about me in front of others.<br />
<br />
Now, I'm a relatively sensitive guy. Others describe me as "sweet" and "caring." I don't like to burn others publicly and care about the quality of my work. So what am I to do when someone or a cadre of people treat me so negatively? Like many of you, I don't take it well. And these qualities -- in addition to depression and social anxiety in past jobs -- prevented me from doing the best work.<br />
<br />
So, what to do? I'm jobless and living at home, and trying to figure out my next move. Do I join the Peace Corps and return to Africa? Should I join the Army or Air Force? Or should I say to hell with it, get a teaching certificate, and try law school? Lawyers make excellent money but it's a ***** to go through law school (for reasons related to debt and social stress). Or should I try to start my own business...?<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if any of you still read this forum, or how often you do, but have you ever considered starting your own business? It sounds like ilovecats102 found a few niches for herself. I ask because I'm starting to come to two conclusions:<br />
<br />
1) It takes being clever, conniving, and sometimes heartless in order to survive in this unforgiving social caste that we've established in America<br />
<br />
2) Some people aren't destined to work for other people -- and that may not be a bad thing; it often indicates high levels of intelligence, creativity, and thoughtfulness, which our society may be forgiven for not always valuing<br />
<br />
Remember these American maxims: Time is money. Greed is good. Money gets you everything... Right?<br />
<br />
Or not. My advice (to myself as much as to each of you, if you read this): Find what you're good at and find a way to make a buck off it. Just my two cents.<br />
<br />
If you wish to reach me, feel free to contact me at anchor.content.services@gmail.com. It might be good to talk to someone in the same situation.

Hi everyone,<br />
<br />
I completely identify with each of your stories and empathize to the fullest extent possible.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if these issues apply to any of you, but I'm a lifelong sufferer of ADD/ADHD with a blend of anxiety and depression. I thankfully graduated from college, and had a few interesting or great jobs that placed me in Washington, D.C., and, believe it or not, in various places across sub-Saharan Africa, where I lived for a year. I started a nonprofit that is poised to deliver some amazing services in Africa.<br />
<br />
But guess what -- I can't hold down a job. I mean any job. The only jobs I've ever enjoyed or held for long periods of time were in Africa, where people treated me decently (this probably had something to do with my skin color, but, oh, well). So that narrows my frustration to jobs I've held in America, where I've done retail, call centers, office work, store move-ins, and all kinds of temp work.<br />
<br />
My experience has been much the same as ilovecats102: I can't stand the gossip, drama, or simple-minded pursuits of other people. I've always had my interests and thrilled to talk about them. These interests include politics, history, art, and not much else, because I take life seriously. I don't like to discuss the latest TV show, because I try not to watch a lot of TV.<br />
<br />
I've found that boredom, frustration, and A LOT of social anxiety have forced me out of jobs in America. I can be friends and "make nice" with most people, but the backstabbing, hidden agendas, and cold or rude behavior from my superiors shut me down emotionally.<br />
<br />
My last job promised to pay great and had me doing PR work for an important charity. Sounds great, right? Except my boss had no problem whatsoever in burning me publicly (and we worked in tightly packed cubicles, and she sat next to me -- so imagine this for yourself). I know for a fact that her BFF frequently traded info about me with her and would make snide comments about me in front of others.<br />
<br />
Now, I'm a relatively sensitive guy. Others describe me as "sweet" and "caring." I don't like to burn others publicly and care about the quality of my work. So what am I to do when someone or a cadre of people treat me so negatively? Like many of you, I don't take it well. And these qualities -- in addition to depression and social anxiety in past jobs -- prevented me from doing the best work.<br />
<br />
So, what to do? I'm jobless and living at home, and trying to figure out my next move. Do I join the Peace Corps and return to Africa? Should I join the Army or Air Force? Or should I say to hell with it, get a teaching certificate, and try law school? Lawyers make excellent money but it's a ***** to go through law school (for reasons related to debt and social stress). Or should I try to start my own business...?<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if any of you still read this forum, or how often you do, but have you ever considered starting your own business? It sounds like ilovecats102 found a few niches for herself. I ask because I'm starting to come to two conclusions:<br />
<br />
1) It takes being clever, conniving, and sometimes heartless in order to survive in this unforgiving social caste that we've established in America<br />
<br />
2) Some people aren't destined to work for other people -- and that may not be a bad thing; it often indicates high levels of intelligence, creativity, and thoughtfulness, which our society may be forgiven for not always valuing<br />
<br />
Remember these American maxims: Time is money. Greed is good. Money gets you everything... Right?<br />
<br />
Or not. My advice (to myself as much as to each of you, if you read this): Find what you're good at and find a way to make a buck off it. Just my two cents.<br />
<br />
If you wish to reach me, feel free to contact me at anchor.content.services@gmail.com. It might be good to talk to someone in the same situation.

Hi everyone,I completely identify with each of your stories and empathize to the fullest extent possible.I'm not sure if these issues apply to any of you, but I'm a lifelong sufferer of ADD/ADHD with a blend of anxiety and depression. I thankfully graduated from college, and had a few interesting or great jobs that placed me in Washington, D.C., and, believe it or not, in various places across sub-Saharan Africa, where I lived for a year. I started a nonprofit that is poised to deliver some amazing services in Africa.But guess what -- I can't hold down a job. I mean any job. The only jobs I've ever enjoyed or held for long periods of time were in Africa, where people treated me decently (this probably had something to do with my skin color, but, oh, well). So that narrows my frustration to jobs I've held in America, where I've done retail, call centers, office work, store move-ins, and all kinds of temp work.My experience has been much the same as ilovecats102: I can't stand the gossip, drama, or simple-minded pursuits of other people. I've always had my interests and thrilled to talk about them. These interests include politics, history, art, and not much else, because I take life seriously. I don't like to discuss the latest TV show, because I try not to watch a lot of TV.I've found that boredom, frustration, and A LOT of social anxiety have forced me out of jobs in America. I can be friends and "make nice" with most people, but the backstabbing, hidden agendas, and cold or rude behavior from my superiors shut me down emotionally.My last job promised to pay great and had me doing PR work for an important charity. Sounds great, right? Except my boss had no problem whatsoever in burning me publicly (and we worked in tightly packed cubicles, and she sat next to me -- so imagine this for yourself). I know for a fact that her BFF frequently traded info about me with her and would make snide comments about me in front of others.Now, I'm a relatively sensitive guy. Others describe me as "sweet" and "caring." I don't like to burn others publicly and care about the quality of my work. So what am I to do when someone or a cadre of people treat me so negatively? Like many of you, I don't take it well. And these qualities -- in addition to depression and social anxiety in past jobs -- prevented me from doing the best work.So, what to do? I'm jobless and living at home, and trying to figure out my next move. Do I join the Peace Corps and return to Africa? Should I join the Army or Air Force? Or should I say to hell with it, get a teaching certificate, and try law school? Lawyers make excellent money but it's a ***** to go through law school (for reasons related to debt and social stress). Or should I try to start my own business...?I'm not sure if any of you still read this forum, or how often you do, but have you ever considered starting your own business? It sounds like ilovecats102 found a few niches for herself. I ask because I'm starting to come to two conclusions:1) It takes being clever, conniving, and sometimes heartless in order to survive in this unforgiving social caste that we've established in America2) Some people aren't destined to work for other people -- and that may not be a bad thing; it often indicates high levels of intelligence, creativity, and thoughtfulness, which our society may be forgiven for not always valuingRemember these American maxims: Time is money. Greed is good. Money gets you everything... Right?Or not. My advice (to myself as much as to each of you, if you read this): Find what you're good at and find a way to make a buck off it. Just my two cents.If you wish to reach me, feel free to contact me at anchor.content.services@gmail.com. It might be good to talk to someone in the same situation.

Hi everyone,I completely identify with each of your stories and empathize to the fullest extent possible.I'm not sure if these issues apply to any of you, but I'm a lifelong sufferer of ADD/ADHD with a blend of anxiety and depression. I thankfully graduated from college, and had a few interesting or great jobs that placed me in Washington, D.C., and, believe it or not, in various places across sub-Saharan Africa, where I lived for a year. I started a nonprofit that is poised to deliver some amazing services in Africa.But guess what -- I can't hold down a job. I mean any job. The only jobs I've ever enjoyed or held for long periods of time were in Africa, where people treated me decently (this probably had something to do with my skin color, but, oh, well). So that narrows my frustration to jobs I've held in America, where I've done retail, call centers, office work, store move-ins, and all kinds of temp work.My experience has been much the same as ilovecats102: I can't stand the gossip, drama, or simple-minded pursuits of other people. I've always had my interests and thrilled to talk about them. These interests include politics, history, art, and not much else, because I take life seriously. I don't like to discuss the latest TV show, because I try not to watch a lot of TV.I've found that boredom, frustration, and A LOT of social anxiety have forced me out of jobs in America. I can be friends and "make nice" with most people, but the backstabbing, hidden agendas, and cold or rude behavior from my superiors shut me down emotionally.My last job promised to pay great and had me doing PR work for an important charity. Sounds great, right? Except my boss had no problem whatsoever in burning me publicly (and we worked in tightly packed cubicles, and she sat next to me -- so imagine this for yourself). I know for a fact that her BFF frequently traded info about me with her and would make snide comments about me in front of others.Now, I'm a relatively sensitive guy. Others describe me as "sweet" and "caring." I don't like to burn others publicly and care about the quality of my work. So what am I to do when someone or a cadre of people treat me so negatively? Like many of you, I don't take it well. And these qualities -- in addition to depression and social anxiety in past jobs -- prevented me from doing the best work.So, what to do? I'm jobless and living at home, and trying to figure out my next move. Do I join the Peace Corps and return to Africa? Should I join the Army or Air Force? Or should I say to hell with it, get a teaching certificate, and try law school? Lawyers make excellent money but it's a ***** to go through law school (for reasons related to debt and social stress). Or should I try to start my own business...?I'm not sure if any of you still read this forum, or how often you do, but have you ever considered starting your own business? It sounds like ilovecats102 found a few niches for herself. I ask because I'm starting to come to two conclusions:1) It takes being clever, conniving, and sometimes heartless in order to survive in this unforgiving social caste that we've established in America2) Some people aren't destined to work for other people -- and that may not be a bad thing; it often indicates high levels of intelligence, creativity, and thoughtfulness, which our society may be forgiven for not always valuingRemember these American maxims: Time is money. Greed is good. Money gets you everything... Right?Or not. My advice (to myself as much as to each of you, if you read this): Find what you're good at and find a way to make a buck off it. Just my two cents.If you wish to reach me, feel free to contact me at anchor.content.services@gmail.com. It might be good to talk to someone in the same situation.

Hi,<br />
<br />
It breaks my heart to read all these comments. I'm so with you. I lost 4 jobs last year, almost impossible, yes I cant belive it too. I was also diagnozed with ADHD and for sure have it. The worst part is that is that I have problems with social life, communication with people, I have no ability to solve conflicts and gets to them every time possible. I basically don't like people and soon or later smg. is going to happen. That is really sad as I feel like Im going nowhere. In previous job my boss said: "...and nobody likes you here" how can you even live with this information and pretend that its all gonna be fine and things will get better. Well, i dont believe it any more and after receiving another notice on Friday I'm devastated.

Well, I've received news that I have to be out of my place at the end of the month. I'm no closer to finding a source of income, have less than $800 in my bank account, and can't get financial aid for any local colleges until spring. I'm going to try and get a job picking grapes at a vineyard because harvesting season is coming and it's the only thing I can find that isn't a retail or restaurant job. I don't know what my chances are with cheap immigrant labor around, but it's a hope at least. I also found some tradesmen that might hire me in the future, but none of them are sure when, so I have to find some way to hold on in the meantime.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure what to do if I don't find something by the end of the month, but it is comforting to know that I'm not the only one trying to survive and be happy at the same time. I don't know what other people are living for, but I just can't be a slave to money and materialism. Best of luck to everyone else going through this.

It's so hard to keep reinventing myself, I kinda lost myself in all this mess. I used to be stronger and had a clear picture of what my dream job was, but then I went to school for it and realized that I wasnt really all that good. How do you move on and what do you move on to when you have know clue what you want. Its all about just paying bills right now...

I have been dealing with many of the same things for a long time. I am almost 30 and probably go through 2-4 jobs a year. The longest I've ever held a job was for a year and a half. I tried to go back to school three times. The one school I graduated from, cosmetology school I had to give up because of skin issues, but at the same time have gone through about 8 salons before that happened. I absolutely hate retail with a passion, but it seems the only thing else that I can manage to get. I finally found a decent job with decent money which to most isn't, but then out of the blue they fired me. It just seems that no matter how hard I try to stay focused and positive things do not change. I know that I have a lot to offer and good skills, but on paper losing so many jobs it doesnt look good at all. Its so rough cause my bf is now the one going through that too. he lost his job and we just moved for the third time. It's so frustrating. I tried to get financial aid from one school and they werent going to distribute until after 90 days, which is already too long, but then they were trying to tell me another four weeks. I owe so much money to all the bills, bf and his family and all I want to do is do something that makes me feel good. I don't care all that much about money but at this point in my life it seems to be the thing that I need. I have struggled my whole life, having no support and ended up choosing to do things for myself without those people who don't value you me. I thought i found my purpose early in life and i just either got bored in school or had no money to get by in life. I am stuck and I cant get any help from the government because I have no kids, and quite frankly dont really want them at this point. I just really wish that everything will just fall into place for me already. I just want to be able to rely on myself and be more responsible.

It is late and I can't sleep because I lost my job again today. I changed jobs 5 times in last 2 years. And at every job there is a conflict that I get in to. My biggest issue ;) PEOPLE. they are sooooooooo nasty. Everything about money to them. No morals, no class, no kindness and no humility. You are the Robot to your boss. I JUST HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <br />
<br />
Similar to you I was raised in a good kind family. I know what love is, I know what friendship is and I know that we live in times of LUCIFER mow. He is going after peoples souls. You losing your jobs just an indication that you are fighting the evil. You feel that something is wrong with the world and you are absolutely right about it. I am from Russia. People in my country work to live, they don't live to work. But it started to change there too. ONE WORLD ORDER as we build it. We are all loaded in to the Matrix. And some of us just naturaly refuse to be a part of the system. <br />
<br />
Losing a job is a much bigger issue. We were born to be free and not to be slaves to our jobs, but we were not left with a choice. <br />
<br />
Dear Cat lover LOL ;) You are not alone. Your story is too similar to mine. I live in the US for 11 years and I just hate work environment here. Just remember that you are a human and I feel for you. You will be doing good, but only after you will find people who share the same ideas with you.<br />
THAT IS the most difficult thing to do. I found those people at school.Go back to school, get your financial aid and spread the word . If you want to change the world for better you have to be strong, beause the modern world in heands of the Lucifer at the moment...........................................

WAW

But when you spend half of your waking hours there, how can it not?

I think you've fallen into the trap of believing your job, what you od for a living, defines you and makes you what you are. It IS NOT your life. It is merely the means you use to allow you to live your life. It's a means to an end... an income. That's all it counts for. You can be and are so much more then your job. Real life begins outside the confines of your employment, not inside it.