I Just Can't Keep A Job!I know I'm competent! I'm a "good" worker. I come to work on time. I don't come to work in a foul mood. I'm pleasant. I don't have an "authority" issue with supervisors (granted I won't let anyone at any level mis-treat me). I work well with a group (granted I prefer working alone). I'm smart. I "get things done" and follow through. I appreciate completing a task. Money is not the biggest issue for me with work - doing meaningful work is. I have been working (any paying my own way) since high school - and that over 30 years now. But, but, but the older I get - the less I'm able to keep a job.
"I Just Can't Keep A Job!"
Yes, I have skills (we can all use refreshers).
I do administrative work - nothing that will save the world - however it honest, a service people need and I do it well.
(Oh yeah, I have a BA degree...for the most part...its simply a Liberal Arts major).
However, as the years continue to pass, its harder and harder for me to stay at a job.
At first - I did as was expected...I worked out of college for at one job for about 5 years. And that's the longest in 20 years. I had another job for about 3 yrs - left and came back - in total that was about 4 yrs. Since then - for the last 10 years I've been unable to keep a job for more than 2yrs (really 1 year). And most recently - in the last 5 yrs. I've not been able to keep a job for more than 6months. It kills me! I feel like I"m dying. Literally - like I'm dying.
No one at these jobs has been mean or out of place with me. The money has been good. And I get a job relatively easy (although that's changing with the economy and my age - 45+).
However, I can't figure out "WHY"..."I just can't keep a job!"
Partly, I "know" (somewhere deep inside) it has to do with being Bipolar (which was diagnosed about 15 years ago - but I knew since high school over almost 30 years ago). Also - I think I maybe/have ADD or ADHD - or one of those "attention diseases" - which make it challenging to stay focused - but so what! Everyone has some kind of issue. Many people have life threatening issues and they work - daily - and enjoy it.
And perhaps maybe that's my issue. Never done work - I enjoyed. I had a volunteer position once - and it was the only time every in my life I enjoyed my work - and that position lasted 5years - until I burnt and had to stopped.
So I'm older these days - which is scary - to keep quitting (which - I always do) - I quit before they quit me (which is the last 3 years I've been "let go" 3 times) and I'm about to quit the current job - which I've had since January 2011. Anyway - I'm making an appointment to see yet ANOTHER mental health professional - who will probably want to prescribe me medz - which I hate. I take for a couple of months - 6 - 1yr - then stop - and yes - as they say - I feel the "crash" - it harder to get my head straight and clear and have a balance(d) life.
So I'll make an appointment tomorrow to see the first Mental Health Professional I can. I'm looking to establish is do have ADD - and what the options are. Perhaps, maybe, just by chance - I will be able to get a job and keep a job - for more than a 1year (that's what I hoped for this most recent job). The thing is - in life - "We can never give up hope" - and this I must tell myself always. I'm single, have no one, no dog or cat, or children or even a partner - so work would be what keeps me "connected" - and without work - I am very lonely and very vulnerable to suicidal thoughts (which are often). So I've got to find a job I can keep - its literally a matter of life and death for me...that I find "A job I can keep" for my life's sake.
Anyone else relate to THIS story?
I wish you balance, good health, and joy!