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Been Fired More Than I Want To Admit

I was fired yesterday from another restaurant. It has happened so many times before and I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I'm 41 years old now. I am engaged to a man I've been with seven years who is very stable and dependable. He has no children but I have a one daughter who just Graduated from Brown. I went to college when she was young and got right to the end but did not finish. I was in a bad relationship with a man who helped me get addicted to prescription pain killers and alcohol. I blamed him for a while but have long since taken full responsibility. I lost everything that mattered to me all at once. I finally kicked him out for good then my car broke down causing me to loose my job, my house, my ability to get to class and most tragically, my child. She had to go live with her psycho father. I later got her back but I was a mess for 5 or 6 years. I lost hope and spun out of control on drugs and alcohol. Then 7 years ago I met my fiancé who truly helped put humpty dumpty back together again, barely. I found God last year and was able to keep the same job for 9 whole months, the longest run ever! Pitiful. However the BP spill changed everything at that place and it became unbearable I gave them an ultimatum, basically so they fired me the next day instead of working with me as I asked. I was working so much that I couldnt take care of my self spiritually. I did some major backsliding but finally went to find another job. I got one at the second place I applied at and it was a really good one as far as restaurants go. However, i screwed up there pretty much right away and they did not have time for that. I got sick (hungover) and called out DURING TRAINING!!! They gave me the impression it was laid back but I guess not so much. So I have gone back to doing good, and doing God but I wish it hadn't taken being fired. I stopped relying on God and it doesn't work that way for me any more. I guess in the back of my mind I know I don't have to be responsible because my man is. But I really do not want to be like that. I want to be a respectful woman that my man and my daughter, and myself can be proud of and relied on. I'm so ashamed and embarrasd and i know i need to just grow up, so why wont I??? And what now? Go get yet another waitress job? I wish I could escape my self imposed limitations and realize my potential. I am intelligent, friendly, decent looking and STUPIDLY IRRESPONSIBLE
shellonly8 shellonly8 41-45 3 Responses Apr 3, 2011

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I can hear your frustration. Have you ever asked for a performance evaluation from those former bosses before they fired you? Sometimes it is also a personality conflict. Sometimes it is a mental health issue that we are not aware of. Have you come from troubled childhood? We need to look deeper within ourselves and see how it has effective us to who we are. If it effects your confidence then that could be another area maybe you don't see but other can, thus affecting our ability to either do the job or fit into the job scenario emotionally. If you are a non smily personality or happy go lucky person, irritated a lot, have a negative attitude, that can convey to others that there is something wrong. Ask people for an honest ob<x>jective opinion of how you can improve on yourself. Good luck.

Dear Shellonly<br />
<br />
Sounds like you might have PTSD. I've had it my whole life and it's stopped me holding down jobs continually. I also spent the last 20 years of my life doing drugs and having casual sex. I have given these up now. If you had a violent or alcoholic parent as a child there is a good chance you have PTSD. If this is the case you would benefit from getting counselling or seeing a psychologist. A lot of people go on anti-depressants but I wouldn't recommend them as they mess with your memory. <br />
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I agree with above please try not to be so hard on yourself. It is good to try and support yourself with positive self talk etc but this is hard for some of us to do also. I too get ashamed and embarressed of myself but that is from someone telling you repeatedly when you were a child that you were bad. You now believe it. <br />
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Try to get some counselling help or someone to talk to about your problems.<br />
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I wish you all the best as we need all the strength we can get.<br />
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All the best<br />
Viv

Don't be to hard on yourself, if you keep trying and a keep a good attitude I'm sure you will get it together :)<br />
Forgive yourself and try not to tie one on when u work the nxt day.<br />
I was recently fired and told my parents my hours were cut due to weather(seasonal) I don't like to lie but I have been in & out of work for 2 yrs. It is humiliating :(