Don't Understand Why

I am 36 years old, married and have a daughter. I love going to work everyday, I am never late, and I try to always be a positive person. I have never held a job for more than 2 years. Most of the times I was fired was for soft skills not hard skills. I have a Masters degree and two bachelors degrees. Understand I am only blaming me and seeking help but in doing this I must tell my story.

When I was young I was told I had ADHD and was put on medication. I have never used this excuse as a reason for my lose of a job. I have tried hard to change how I act and say around people. I am a very talkative person and I try hard not to talk to much. I can do any job given to me with high success and understand things quickly. I have sought out help from counsilors and psychologist trying to understand why I am not able to hold a job. I have been told I take critism to heart and blow off complements. I have been critised by everyone I can think of, from my family to my wife, and most employers who fired me. Sadly to say I have just lost my (I have lost count on how many) job again. This time I was there a whole 3 days. I was told the reason for my termination was I couldn't follow instructions.

I am tired of losing job after job and for reasons I don't understand. My work performance is normally very high. I am able to do every thing asked of me and more. Understand I have not been fired from every job, sometimes circumstances get in the way and I have to give notice for a job. A job I might have kept a long time, I left because we moved so my wife could take a well paying job. But all in all 2 years is the most I was ever at a job. I just want to know what more I can do to hold on to a job longer then 2 years or in most cases 6 to 10 months. I am willing to try anything, one problem I do face is my wife is no longer supportive of me. She believes I am useless and will never hold a job for a long period of time.

One problem I have always noticed just before I get I fired is I start to worry that people are talking about me and that I will be fired soon. I am very self critical of myself and do not have people around to tell me that I am good and that I can do it. I know that encouragement can help a lot of people, but I don't seem to have that on a daily or even weekly basis. I just want to know what is wrong with me, should I see a doctor or another pyschologist? Please I am desperate to change this life and keep a job longer then I have in the past.
Havocknox Havocknox
2 Responses Apr 30, 2012

I can relate to what you have been going through.
I saw different Dr's, Psychiatrist's, Psychologists, etc.....
I have been diagnosed as having manic depression, with bipolar disorder, ADHD, anxiety, etc....I also was, and still am, on a bunch of prescriptions.
Also, I just could not find a job that I could keep.
I then did some research, and found the best Social Security . sability Income Attorney, and signed on with her.
It was a very long, and arduous process. but the great news was that I was approved on the first try! (about a year of waiting around very nervously)
This was 7 years ago, and I just turned 45 recently!

*What was really nice is the fact that they send you a "Retro Active," check, for the time you stopped working, and stopped looking !for a job.
You do have to show that you are not working, due to your disabilities, which can be stressful, when you have no income coming in, and still have bills to pay!
Luckily, I have just an awesome, and supportive spouse, and we made it through the journey!
If you have any children under 18, and they are still in high school, you will get a monthly check for them as well, which was very nice.

Tips: document everything, almost like a personal health status journal, write down dates of Dr. visits, and what was duscussed really do your homework and find the best attorney with the best approval rates, (Also, bigger is not better as it pertains to picking your attorney. I went with a very nice female attorney who is not afiliated with a group of attorney's, and she turned out to be wonderful!
I hope this will possibly help you. Good luck to you.

If I were you, I would ask a good friend or even an aquaintance whom you trust to give you an honest evaluation of your personality. Like you, I was always fired, and like you, I was never given a reason. I think people like us have traits that may annoy or disturb other people. For example, I'm pretty quick-witted, and I've lived through the feminist era. Sometimes I think (this is only a guess) that I have the ability to put people in their place verbally, and the men don't like it. Like I said, this is only a guess. But you may have a trait, or perhaps some body language that gives people the wrong impression, unbeknownst to you. I know for sure no one is honest with people like us. I'll wonder forever what went wrong, because the people I worked for couldn't muster the nerve to tell me the truth.<br />
I would have a friend be brutally honest; tell me everything; do I smell? do I interrupt? do I put on airs? am I a secret snob? do I talk everyone's ear off?whatever.<br />
I wish you the best of luck. You might want to try working for yourself. I'm sure all of the 'consultants' out there are really guys who were fired and don't want to be in that position ever again. Best.