Hello everyone,

I am grateful to know that I'm not alone. I am 48, Married to the most understanding Lady in the world, no kids cause we couldn't have any and never employed long enough to qualify, and unemployed...AGAIN!

I have been in and out of jobs since I was 17 and the longest job was about 2 years. I get frustrated with myself all the time about it but just seems futile.

My work ethic is spotless, my attitude at work is friendly and open and honest.

I have a grade 12 diploma and an Honours Diploma in Accounting and Payroll Administration from a Career College in Ontario. (never got into the field.)

I have been in the restaurant industry, retail industry, wholesale industry, automotive industry and most recently the oil industry. I have been a courier and delivery driver, newspaper carrier, parts salesman, cook, retail manager & clerk, dishwasher, service advisor, warranty clerk, and oil product packager. I have even had my own title as "Parts Inventory Control Specialist"; a fancy way of saying I'll come into your parts department and clean it up from the last guy who didn't work out.

Each time I get settled in a job (and I have liked every job I have done) something unknown to me happens and I am either let go or quit.

I am now Depressed, Diabetic, have Degenerative Disc Disorder with a pinched Sciatic Nerve, and GERD. I have two separate types of Hernia; Umbilical (which I'm hoping to have repaired soon) and Hiatal. I have weak ankles (constantly twisting them, the last time I tore the capsule over the ankle and was out for a month. most of the time I'm exhausted. Sleep Apnea is something else I am dealing with and have a CPAP machine. and I am OBESE. I can lose weight easily but get discouraged and quickly it goes back up.

I have been on Unemployment and Welfare more often that I care to count.

People around me are great and helpful but are quickly getting frustrated with my inability to sustain work.

What is it that I don't see?
What is it that I'm not doing?
Where has my drive and determination gone?
Why am I constantly beating myself up in my mind?

I have a strong faith in God.
I have a loving and caring wife.
I have close acquaintances but no real person that I confide to. (strange that I'm saying that here).

Where have I missed the boat???
Someone please tell me where to get help in Saskatchewan (Lloydminster)
dolandry dolandry
51-55, M
1 Response Aug 18, 2014

I know that feel. I had few jobs before and some people were good to me and tried to help me. But I felt under lots of pressure and finally I didnt keep it anymore. I feel guilty, but I dont know what to do. I am looking forward to next interview.