And He Is Just As Bad....

Normally, he doesn't have to say anything. Normally, we both know I'm gonna call, and that we're gonna get together, and that will be the end of that.
    Last time, he said "NO MORE" because I was getting hurt because I am still in love with him and even though I know we're not right for each other and not being with him frees me to so many new and better things, I can't help but want to talk to him and be with him and we both envisioned we would be.
    Well, back to him saying "no more." We were down to that, it was all we had, and boy are we good at it. It was all that we still wanted of each other, but we hit a bump and it was supposed to be no more.
    How long did that last? Not nearly long enough, and I must say, for once, I had the presence of mind to remind him of his proclamation, and he just kept going, and what's worse, yeah, I know, this is what we want, but what's worse is that he CALLED THE NEXT DAY. That's not how you go about saying NO MORE! maybe it's just me, but that's not how it's supposed to work. This is the part where I'm begging my stars that he'll go on a date with someone else, that he'll not answer when I call, that he'll STOP buying dinner, that he will free me from any ties that allow my hands to reach their breadth and find more than air.
    But his muscles, his wonderful smell, his lips they just buckle my knees and soon enough I'm in trouble all over again. Don't get me wrong, I want it as bad if not more, but I don't want to want it with him. He ruins it for men I may be less attracted to but will treat me right. He's always treated me right, but unfortunately, there is so much pain and hurt between us, it can't be.
    I wish pain could make the attraction go away :(
KarmaFred KarmaFred
18-21, F
1 Response Jun 17, 2007

Oh I think many of us found been in a similar situation. It is hard to resist temptation and desire. You tend to know when something is not good for you... but somehow you go for it anyway. That tantalizing touch, kiss, anything. I am trying really hard with the "no more" decision right now as we speak. Good luck freeing yourself from the pain. I know I need it to do the same!