It Happens Every Day

Every day for the past couple months I would wake up and not want to leave the apartment i was staying in or my house. It was the hardest thing to even walk from my bed to the bathroom to take a shower in the morning. It got old REAL quick, but with the help of Jose Cuervo I ended up going in to get help and with a blood alcohol content double the legal limit, a previous diagnosis of unipolar depression, and family history of depression and alcoholism I got put on a 72hr hold.

Good first step but not really lol. I smoke about a pack and a half of cigarettes on a good day and on a bad day its at 3 - 4 packs. Going from that to 0 in 24hrs was HORRIBLE! The nicotine replacement just doesn't cut it. I couldn't leave the room I was even in. Finally I got put on medications and it has helped me since I've been out, about a week now.

Not so fond of my new therapist they set me up with though lol. Having a lot of anxiety about going to see her again for the 2nd time ever. I really don't know. It is tough talking to somebody that gives ya a blank look and doesn't really know what you're talking about but nods and agrees anyways then asks, " Well what do you want me to help you with?"" UGH!!! I walked in to the last apointment with an anxiety level of 3/10 and walked out in tears at 8/10.. That's a tough one

The other day I woke up and just couldn't get out of bed just terrified, finally made it to the kitchen and took my meds, still couldn't bring myself to walk to the car. I was shaking, really bad and the crisis number they told me to call if this happened was IN THE CAR of course lol. So using my fancy droid I googled it and called it, told them the situation, they were a lot easier to talk to because it wasn't this new therapist. So I get to go see this new therapist later today, not too thrilled. But will try to work on it.
s3xyrixa s3xyrixa
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

Im stuck instde most days but thats kinda by choice. I dont have anythink much to do other that going out to buy groceries, so i think its much different to what u experience. Thanks for shareing.

Your anxiety level going to an 8 after a session may be just what it should be: having to do the hard work and face your fears.???? Ya sound tough to me...keep it up, right?