The Long Goodbye.
It's been years and he's moved on completely. I pretend I've moved on and sometimes I believe it myself, but the truth is I am stuck like the U2 song: "stuck in a moment and I can't get out of it." My life is passing me by. I've turned down so many invitations to socialize the invitations are less and less. I've isolated myself and although it took years to feel it... I feel it now... loneliness. I'm scared that it's too late for me and I will never become "available".
I don't want to be alone. I want a partner. I want love. In analyzing myself I've come to the conclusion that I gave some sort of power to him.... something deeply personal. I don't know what it is, this power that I've given away,
but I must figure it out. If I don't, I think I will be stuck in this place... this purgatory.... for the rest of my life.