I Want To Die To Return To The Past...

I was divorced many man years ago... left a good man because I was confused. I didn't know how to love, how to stay in the marriage, didn't understand what was required, and didn't conceptualize commitment. He haunts me every day. Long ago he moved on with his life and established another family. I have never moved on, haven't been able to do it. I think about him and love him every day. It's the worst torture of my life. I often want to turn time around, perform magic, concoct some potion that will return me to a time before the divorce. Now, I just want to die... the longing is just too much... it hurts so much to want him and know that it WILL NEVER HAPPEN. I dont' know what to do, but I can't live in this torture any more.
bumblefuzz bumblefuzz
46-50
May 13, 2012