I Feel Like I'm Dying Inside I Feel Like I'm Dying Inside

I don't want to get in to the marriage that's in the past, But I have children with this man so I am forever bound to him, About a month ago I was concerned about affording back to school clothing so I called their Father to ask for some financial help and that's where I messed up, He began to describe in detail what a horrible mother I was. I couldn't support them I was irresponsible, ect, He said "your not getting the kids back and there is nothing you can do. And he was right. I can't get a lawyer. The parenting Plan given to us by the judge states we have 50/50 Physical and legal custody of the children. I have them on school days and he has them non school days. But now I have lost them. I reacted very badly. I decided i was finished. I attempted suicide. I failed and I'm so so glad I did. But now the ex is dragging me into an arbitration to discuss "Holidays" but I know better, He will throw a curve ball, I am not looking forward to this arbitration. What are my chance's. If any one has any advice i would love to here it.
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Sep 14, 2013