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Let Me Let Go

I've posted a couple of stories on here about a man from my past who I just can't seem to get over. Things have come full circle here lately. He is back in my life and it is breaking my heart all over again. We have tried very hard to keep things casual and just be friends due to his marriage and mine as well. I don't think he is willing to leave his marriage and I don't know where I stand right now. Lots of emotions and feelings are involved and we have both admitted these. We have tried several times to stay away from each other. Usually one of us gives in and the conversation turns to other things. All it takes is a phone call or email and the flood gates open. I am trying really hard to let go of this but it is just too hard. He is trying hard as well to let this go. I just don't know anymore. Please help.
gynger gynger 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 6, 2011

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gynger, can I ask how this is going for you? I too am experiencing a similar problem.

You're welcome. Remember, you can love/like or be terribly fond of someone without being attached to or possessive of them. Pure, selfless love. It's going to be okay :-).

thank u so much for the beautiful comment. I think that in a way I have found closure. We have both decided that it is better to be friends than nothing at all.

If you cannot distance yourself from the situation or change it, accept it. It might sound preposterous, but what I mean is, how about not struggling so hard to let go? You can't force it, let it all wash over you, accept the reality. You have strong feelings for each other, and that's okay. But look at it from another perspective: allow yourself to feel compassion for him, wish him contentment in his life, allow yourself to love him and *yet* let him be. At the same time, remember how precious you are - why must you stay entrapped in hurting? Let your own love of life bring you peace of mind - there must be goodness and joy in your present life that you can acknowledge. Bring that back into focus, over and over again,