I Know It Was My Choice But I Can't Let Him Go
So I dated this guy Justin he was a few years older and had a little girl, This is what happened. He moved into the building in the summer of 2011 i started baby sitting for him a week or two later, the job he was with had him gone from monday morning and he wouldn't get home until friday night, we became friends very quick, and would hang out, his daughter is two years old and she became attached to me, one of the reasons why he liked me, monday morning i woke up to go to his place, he was getting ready for work while i was sitting on the couch at 5 am, he told me he would be gone for 11 days, while he was gone we would text so he can ask how his lill girls doin, one night texting him he called me sweetnees, when he came home, he asked if i would go to ___'s place so he could do his laundry, while sitting on the couch he came and sat beside me, took my hand and kissed it, i have never felt so many butterflys in my life, couple hours later we went back to his place, he asked if i'd come in to watch a movie, sitting on the couch with him we started cuddleing after that night, I went pretty much everywhere with him, when he was home. He went back to wroking mondays to fridays so he was home on the weekend with me and his little girl, our relationship got serious fast, i fell for him hard, i had dreams of me telling him i loved him or saying i loved him, and that i had a baby with him, he gave me a ring with the word love on it, those things have never happened in a dream, it was amazing, he would talk about the future and he'd add me in it saying "us" or "we" it was amazing but it was hard cause he worked away a lot and i was home with his little girl, it was a relationship i've never ever been in before but from my past i felt like i could make it work, and i tried my best, after sevon months of dating, it was getting harder cause while he was gone, people were telling me i shouldn't be with him, i wasn't happy, look at what i'm doing, and so on... i started to believe them only cause most of it was true, it was getting harder on me, cause her mother would never take her she pretty much wanted nothing to do with her own daughter, and i had other things to do that i couldn't take a 2yr old with me, i sorta told him how i felt over the phone before he got home, and he said he would take time off work so we could make our relationship work, that sounded great, but i caved a few days later from thinking about what was going on, and from what people were saying and being weak minded, trying to make other people happy i left him, forgetting about making the most important person happy, me. but it hurt 10x more when all his reply was um ok can you still watch my daughter..... we can still be friends. i know i'm the one who chose what to do but he just let me walk out of his life, just like that 3 i don't know who the break up hurt more him or me cause i sat in my room crying for hours after, and its been a month and i'll still crying my eyes out, I miss him and he lives next door. but i don't see him a lot. I don't know if i should tell him i still care and love him or just let it go.