I Need To Face Facts

i have had the biggest crush on this guy for the last 10yrs, he was just a regular face in the crowd at first, but over the last couple of years he has become a valued friend. we have these great random chats about anythin and everythin, we can laugh and joke, have similar interests etc.  he broke up with his long term partner early 2009, i was single too, but let him have his space, last sept i couldn't take it anymore and told him how i felt about him in an email, which he still hasn't replied to or acknowledged in any way. it almost ruined the friendship as i felt awkward around him immediately after the event, but i pulled myself together and got it back to where it was.  i know intellectually that he doesn't see me that way, or else he would've acted on the email or my other thinly veiled advances, but i can't let him go. i keep thinkin, what if i tried this or what if i said that?  maybe he's not over his ex? maybe he thought i regretted the email because of my embarrassment when i saw him next? it doesn't help that a mutual friend keeps insistin that he feels the same about me as i him...  i wish i could let him go, value his friendship and be content with that, but somehow i just can't do it

Twoflower Twoflower
31-35, F
Jan 7, 2010