Every Day Gets Harder

I miss him so much, and not just him being here, around.  I miss talking to him. We used to text so much, and that stopped when he went off to trianing. It seemed to be less and less, until december, when he texted me alomst every single day(and this is when he though he would be coming back home by switching to reserve) One night was really drunk and he text me, i wound up calling him crying, begging him to come home. Then the last week of december he didnt text me much, I saw him once the whole 2 weeks he was home. I told him it might help if we didnt talk for awhile after he left. I was supposed to see him one more time, but he never showed up. He ran into my ex best friend and she thinks she convinced him not to show up. Then something else happened and he said alot of **** was going on that night. When I was ready to talk to him, we talked about us and the past and how i cant let him go because i feel like had much of a chance before left. I know it would have been great. Then I didnt talk to him for 2 weeks. I finally texted him and told him we could talk again and he told me about he had been home and seemed upset that we did not hang out. I texted him twice that week, and he texted me back a few hours later on saterday, I told him I was busy and couldnt talk long and he told me he couldnt use his phone for a week(because of a camping trip) when he go back he texted me and told me he was going to afgainistan, we talked for a little bit, but that is it. I have texted him twice and it has been a week since we last talked and it eats me up inside. I do not even know where he is and it hurts that he does not want to talk to me anymore. When I talk to him feel at peace, ifeel like it is how things are supposed to be. I try to move on, I really do but for some reason I cant move on,I want to move on but I cant.

BeautifulDreamer725 BeautifulDreamer725
Feb 7, 2010