I Have To Think Long And Hard...

I HATE when I have to make a decision about anything!!! I had a hard time deciding what to buy from Old Navy, I couldn't decide what to eat for dinner yesterday, I couldn't decide if I should spend money on Sushi for my parents as a surprise or save it for later, I couldn't decide whether or not to accept books from a friend to borrow, I couldn't decide if I should hang out with a friend on Monday or Sunday... I could go on and on until the world ends and it upsets me. I have been told that I am book smart, because I have a full scholarship to the school of my dreams but, I have also been told I have no common sense. I guess that would effect my decision making skillst. I just can't help but think that I'm better than that. Better than 'common intelligence'. I guess that's also why I am bad at decision making. I have to over think all of my options but people get too impatient, so I choose something irrational and, ultimately, stupid. My mom thinks I naturally make bad decisions, but I don't think its that way at all. Someone told me I have my head in a whole when I make decisions, but I don't think its that way at all either. I'm afraid. Afraid of the repercussions of a bad move. Afraid everyone will hate me -especially my mother and my authorities- if I make a wrong turn. But I always do that, and to be honest I am sick and tired of it. I'm tired of imagining the ridicule people would overwhelm me with when I make a bad decision. I wonder if there is a way I can teach myself to think clearly and make better decisions for my own sanity. Gosh look at me, I've droned on and on. Sorry about that. Thank you for taking the time to read all this if you did. I just have to vent...
seungwon seungwon
18-21, F
May 25, 2012