He Had Me, Every Part Of Me. He Still Has Me.

I never let people into my life, in an intimate way. I feel very guarded after past things that have happened. Well I decided to let a boy in and it's killing me. He was nothing that I wanted and yet everything I could ever want. I didn't know what it was about this guy that tangled me so immensely. I wanted everything about him, and I was getting it. Our relationship was adorable, was envied .. It was something special. He had me. From the first moment I decided it was okay, he had me. With every day I would fall deeper and deeper. Then something went wrong and we weren't working. Our relationship broke. We didn't see each other for a month but, kept in contact. We saw each other. And feelings came back on both sides. We started seeing each other again, but nothing official. Just an understanding that we were exclusive. It was working. It was good. We were happy. Now I feel it's falling apart at the seams again. Yet, I know he still has me. As much as I know I need to walk away because I want a relationship again, I know I can't ... or it won't be easy. Because I'm still engulfed in everything that he is. I don't know what to do. I have no answers, I'm at a stand still. I am at a complete and utter loss. I can't move on.
FallenForTheIdiotInUniform FallenForTheIdiotInUniform
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

I feel ya, I really do, I had something similar happen to me...theres not much I can say, but talk to him, find out if he wants the same things you want, ask if he sees a future there, or if there are ways to keep this relationship at the seams...if he says no, or you find that its not working, then it will be difficult at first do to the amount of feelings and ideas racing through you head...but over time keeping busy and pushing away the thoughts of what could be, or could have been seem to do the trick...

It's difficult. We've skated around the topic and it's always the same... he likes me and really likes being around me but, doesn't want to be in a relationship right now.. with anyone.. he claims.

Like from experience...means there's someone else, or that hes not sure and wants to keep his options open...I was seeing this girl, and she said the same thing, so I gave in, then 3 days later says she just wants to be friends, then 2 days later I find out her ex boyfriend was in town and he was sleeping over at her place for the last 4 days...definitely hurt that someone who you spend so much time and energy on could just toss ya aside like that because they want a different type of relationship...

:( It's terrible. I will never understand how someone can be like that. I am trying my very best to move on .. to walk away. You managed to get through that experience?

I also don't understand because he will tell people we are still seeing each other .. it adds to my confusion

to be honest I'm keeping busy, this site helps when I want to vent and say what I cant say to others, and reading what other people go through, I can kind of relate and keep an open mind...maybe it was for the best, but I just cant wrap my brain around as to why...why would someone, who you do so much for, decide within seconds, minutes, hours, days, that they just want to be friends and toss you aside like it was all a lie...just dont get it

maybe to keep options open, or he wants to keep people from getting involved.

You're in the same spot I am.. I don't get it either. I did so much for this boy and he knows how much I care... It's almost like are the things we are doing for these people not good enough? Sometimes I wonder if maybe theres something wrong with me.. maybe i didn't do enough or say the right things.. what switches their minds like that?

omg, i thought the same thing, i questioned weather I should say whats honestly on my mind, or when we went out in public, i would hold her hands, keep them warm, i would give her my jacket if she looked cold, i opened car door every time, i pulled out her chair for dinner dates, like at least 40 times, like she said thank you all the time, but I thought there was so much more I could do, and when she switched her mind like that, then I found out about it all, I was a wreck for at least 3 weeks, still am, just trying to find a reason day by day not to let it hurt so much, missing someone cause of the memories or that special moment you shared does more damage to guys like me then you can imagine...

I feel so bad for you! It's rare that you find a guy that is as nice as you seem to be! I am the same way, I've done a lot for this person and I cared so much for him and I still felt like there was more I could and should be doing too for him whether or not he was doing anything for me. I always wanted to cater to him and make him feel loved and cared for. He had been hurt pretty badly in the past and I wanted him to see that he found someone that would care for him and not break his heart ... looks like I got broken instead

Ouch, its also rare to find someone like you who is willing to do so much for someone, but him being hurt in the past could also be his way of seeing where you relationship might be heading, like if he pushes u away, and u don't fight to stay close then hes only going to end up hurting himself in the long run. If its meant to be, then it will be, if hes willing to fight and keep you as someone he needs in the future, then don't give up on him, but if hes only using you and doesn't consider your feelings or your needs first and foremost, then you'd be better off finding someone who understands you and who truly wants to care for what you can offer :)

I really hope that we both get through this crap! And that we both find someone that treats us as we treat the people we are in relationships with. Honestly, I hope you do find happiness. I really do.

Same to you! Like happiness exist, and we learn from our relationships, just takes times lol

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