I wonder why it hurts so much.
I met a wonderful guy. He had just recently broke up from his gf because she was high on drugs and was sent to the rehab. He has been my classmate at an art class. We have many similarities and we become very close wid each other. Until our friendship turns into a relationship. We become sweethearts. We are inseparable... Like soulmates. It was almost perfect... But we kept our relationship in secret because my parents are very strict, so we dated at coffee shops.
But there is something I dont like about him. He keeps on talking about his ex and it made me annoyed and jealous. We always quarrel about her.
Then one day... our 2 year relationship melted.
His ex gf recovered and was well again. She came back to him and asked for forgiveness of what she had done ( she has cheated on him so many times.). He forgave her. Accepted her... Welcomed her. My bf told me that wat he felt about me was just mere friendship, and he was moving in wid her. He ended our relationship.
It was full of heart aches, knowing for a fact that u have been used as a substitute for his bleeding heart. I felt badly hurt and broken. I felt so jealous. I am a good person, I never smoke, drink or used drugs just like his gf does but why did he chose her instead of me? I felt so decieved.
It left me bleeding for 2 years.
Then just this year, I met a blogger online and had a relationship wid him. I thought that I could forget my x, but it got even worst. I felt so paranoid about my new relationship and I keep on comparing my fiance to him. I wish I could eventually move on from pain.
I realized that we should not use others to heal our pain, we are the only ones capable of healing ourselves.
I wish I could stop feeling the pain. The wound that my ex left me 2 years ago is still fresh.
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May 7, 2015