Alone

I feel like I just can't relate to people. I'm a misfit in every sense of the word. I don't date, I don't do drugs, I'm not religious, and my hair's bright purple. People just don't understand me. I feel pretty self aware for my age, yet I don't like talking about things that most people do. I'm in my last year of college and I've barely made any friends. None of them are close, and we never hang out after school. I always just keep to myself and tell myself things will get better in the future.

I feel like I don't fit in with most girls cause I'm kind of a tomboy. I enjoy playing video games and martial arts. I've always been a loner. People think i'm pretty and they try talking to me, but when they can't relate to me they shrink away. A lot of girls i've met talk about their guy friends, or about current TV shows, or celebrity stuff. I don't keep up with any of that stuff.

I'm more interested in spiritual and paranormal topics. I guess that's just where I am in life.

So i sit hear listening to music that's not top 40 on the radio.. stuff that barely anyone likes... and I just let the loneliness in. I'm so used to it now but it still hurts like a *****. I wish i could relate to someone without being so emotionally closed off. I feel jealous of people who make friends so damn easily.