Why Can't I Have That?

In fact, I can't share anything at all with them. 

Whenever my dad tries to talk to me, I don't ever know what to say back, so I just say "Ok" which makes him think I'm not listening.. It's not my fault I have nothing in common with him and actually really dislike talking to him because he always brings up my past mistakes and starts arguments.  I don't want to tell him anything because I'm afraid he'll just bring it back up later and find some way to use it against me.

I hardly ever see anyone else in my family.  It's hard to talk to someone when you don't know them at all.

I envy people who are close to their families.  I envy my boyfriend because he has a real family and I want to be part of it, so I hardly ever talk around them because I'm afraid they won't like me.  I hate going to other people's houses whose parents are friend's with their children because it just upsets me that I don't have that.

Amay408 Amay408
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 9, 2010

i know how u feel, but u dont go on being "familyless" try it with ur aunts and uncles and cousins. visit them more often really, in otherwise consequences will harm you thewn u DONT COMPLAIN cuz u'd deserve did u understand me???????????

One of the quotes I think about all the time is "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad."

I rarely, if ever, express anything private to my parents. I am not close to my father and never have been because he was an alcoholic and did not help my mother at all. So, once he finally went to AA (I was well into my teenage years at this point) it was too late. My mother is a different story but she has hurt me so much since I was a child that I see her as the person who brought me into the world, that's it. <br />
<br />
Don't sweat it. Family is not something you can choose to be related to but you can choose if you want to relate to them, you see? <br />
<br />
My boyfriend loves his family and although they live in the Midwest, when we go visit them it's like a King has arrived! They adore him. There is a wall with two photos on it when you enter the house, just two: a picture of my boyfriend with his dress blues (from the Marine Corps) and then next to his photo is Jesus. It's insane. But, I love it because his family isn't normal but yet at the end of the day they are still close and love each other. I feel more comfortable and happy around them then my own family.

I think what you are experiencing is called the generation gap. Thats a phase coined many years back. It happens to every family, to everyone, it happened to me when I was young once. I am 54 years old now. Not much in common huh? I remember when I couldnt talk to Dad or Mom without an argument about this or that. Dad died when I was 16, I joined the army and off I went. Wow what an eye opener I got. Well...dont go join the Army unless you want to.<br />
<br />
Try this. When they something hurtful things say. "you know when you say that I feel ___________" If you can engage in positive conversation. I cant tell you an answer. I raised 3 boys and they are all grown now. I do hope all goes well with you. I'm sorry you are having such a ruff go right now.<br />
<br />
Jim