Why Cant I Show My Emotions?

im just your average guy with your average job and average life, although things have been pretty tough the past few years!!! but my problem is, i have never really been able to show my emotions!!! like when im happy and when im sad and so on!!! ok, i can laugh at jokes and so on, but im talikng about my actual moods!!! when im angry, and when im sad, i cant show it!!! i mean, when i lost one of my best friends after he was in a car crash, i remember at the funeral, i felt empty inside, and i was crying big time on the inside, but i couldnt show to other people that i was upset if you get what i mean!!! even in the past 5 years ive suffered depression, a gambling problem, i have lost 2 of my grandparents to heart attacks and i lost my dad to cancer, all of wich were really sad occasions, but yet again, i couldnt show any emotions, even though i almost felt dead inside!!! i always keep things to myself, and i hate it when people try to get below the surface if you get what i mean!!! instead i bottle things up, and when im on my own at home or something, i lose my temper sometimes, and it can get really bad, but i only lose my temper when im on my own, by myself!!! and another thing that gets to me is that i cant even tell my own mother some of the things that i do, and talk to her about the way i feel!!! i mean, she worries about me, like all mothers do with their kids, and then when i tell her stuff and explain to her how i feel, she worries 10 times as much!!! like all mothers would do!!! i mean even recently i havent been very well, but the doctors dont know whats wrong with me, and i just tell my mom that everything is alright with me, cos i dont want her to worry about me, even though i know that as a mother, she will worry about me anyway!!! why am i like this? i just dont know!!!!!

cowshed123 cowshed123
36-40, M
17 Responses Feb 16, 2009

thanks lostmermaid!! its easier sad than done though!!! but i will keep trying to let people in, bit by bit!!!! one step at a time!!!

Best Of Luck mate :)<br />
Lots of love<br />
xxx

thanks for your comment lostmermaid!!! i have a lot of issues with my life and the way it has gone for me the past few years, and i have always struggled to show my emotions, and it really does hurt deep down inside, and as i said, over the last few years in particular have been difficult, especially as i have had to be strong for my mom, after i lost my dad to cancer!! she tends to show her emotions a bit better than me, so she usually gets people asking her if she's ok and stuff, but cos i dont show my emotions to well, everyone just presumes im ok, but in many ways, im not!!! but i will try working on it a bit at a time!!!!

If you work on it, you'll progressively be able to show up your emotions...Keeping everything to yourself is not good...<br />
<br />
I remember when I was like that - not showing my emotions..when I was deeply hurt for e.g, i suppressed the pain deep inside me..Even when I was alone, I didn't cry...<br />
<br />
This behaviour of mine had shattered my self-confidence...then one day, i said 'ENOUGH'...and I blew out all my mixed emotions at one go..It perhaps made me feel 'lighter' but it was the inappropriate way to sort the things out...as all the suppressed emotions that I dug deep within me came out all at once..:S<br />
<br />
So, you need to work on it...with time, practice and patience...Above all, believe in yourself...N be positive...<br />
<br />
Let us know how it went...:)<br />
<br />
xoxo

i'll need to learn not to say that again!!! lol ive learned my lesson!!! lol

wow, what happens when she gets upset? im intrigued!!!! lol

oh yes i can use the "no comment" excuse!!! and if i do use it, then wht you going to do about it? ha ha ha!!! lol

no comment!!!! but i do like a bit of teasing every now and again!!! lol!!! ha ha ha!!!

yes you are!!! ha ha ha!!!! and your getting pretty good at it ha ha ha!!!! lol

aaaawwwwww why? i thought you were my friend!!! ha ha ha ha!!! lol

bigger than average!!! how much bigger? lol lol

yes, it does in a way!!! lol!! i think your better sticking to your current name!!! lol!!!

maybe you should change your name to the teasing temptress!!! lol!!! ha ha ha

now your just teasing me!!! lol

so tell me!!! what you mean lol!!! ha ha

so what? you trying to say im below average ha ha ha!!!! lol

i know, i just dont understand how to open up to people!!! i always just get a bit paranoid, that if i go to people with my problems, then they will think that im one of these people that suffer from what i call poor me syndrome, you know the kinda people that one thing goes wrong in their lives, and they expect you to feel sorry for them!!! and yes i know what you mean about the internet, and i have met many great people on this site in particular!!! thanks for commenting!!