Way Too Much On My Mind

I'm the type of person who can stare off into space and not have one thought run threw my mind. But for the past couple of nights it seems i cant get my mind to stop running. And it wouldn't bother me so much if i was not staying up till 5 am and having to wake up by 8am and stay up all day. I'm married and have two very young who are 10 months old and a 3 year old children and im five months pregnant with my third. So i have no choice but to stay awake because my kids cant take care of themselves, when i lay down my mind will not sit still i think about the things i want to do how to do those things how to be a better mother and wife how to make myself a better person how to de scramble my brain and organize my thoughts. There is so much going on and it literally hurts at times i don't much get depressed but when the thoughts start coming one leads to another and so on and next thing i no I'm just thinking of random words and sentences live never give up. i get stressed out and at the moment my hormons are all over the place. But i no there is so much i need to do to improve myself because i want to be a person for my children to be proud to call there mother. I want my life to mean something to not just my family but to the world, i have big dreams and the things i want to learn how to do are not simple tasks to take on especally trying to raise two kids and a third on the way. I'm always afriend of messing up and ruining things for my family and it weres me down.  
vledbetter vledbetter
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 16, 2011

Don't be so hard on yourself.Being a mother is a thousand times the job not many people pay any mind to.I'm one of 4 kin my mom had to raise on her own.Trust me when I say that this was by far No easy task for her.I love my mom dearly and apreciate every minute she labored for us.I'm sure your children will think the same when the time comes.DON'T give up on your goals and dreams.Do small things that you have time to do and don't dwell on the big dream since it is impossible to achieve in one day.Turn your dream into a hobby and let it take its own course.KEEP THAT CHIN UP!!!

thank you i just fill like im not learning fast enough at any of my task an that includes being a wife and mother at 23