And Then My Sister Said This

Such phases come and go.
Good they left You now (read through comments)
CHEERS!
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Being strong always is one of the hardest things in life since u are not allowed to ask for comfort , i admire people like those and can relate very much to your story being an elder brother myself , i always pray to god either for his hand to support me or for him to grant me strength if i may not be so deserving of that.

Seeing a therapist is a good idea, and your logic for not doing so is very poor. Only the strong can admit to a weakness and address it - the weak will hide and ignore it, afraid that someone will see.

So which are you?

you helped your sister when she most needed it, when she was growing up, she now is a grown lady who can see you suffering, her natural instinct is to tell you what she see's trust in her for she is looking out for you too, good luck Kathieredart :)

hun, when those who love you tell you you need help, believe them. i begged hubby to go get help for 3 years before he went. it had reached the point where i was mad at him every work day because he got home so late. i told him his work was killing him and us and he would not listen. finally he went, and now we are slowly reconnecting, but work was destroying him. follow your sister advise---don't wait

far from drivel. May you find care and rest you need, for her sake and yours, blessings to you

You must have done a fine job stepping in to mother ur baby sister..now you are seeing the fruit of that in her care for you.

As someone who's completely estranged from her family (I have Asperger's and I come from the kind of family where, if you're 'abnormal' in any way, you basically don't exist). In July 2010, my kid sister got married; not only did she not want me as a bridesmaid - she told me I wasn't welcome at either the service (I'm an atheist, and I have a bit of a problem with folk who pay lip-service to a religion just so they can use it...), I wasn't wanted at the reception either!

Sorry for the selfish rant, but I'm insanely jealous of people who have loving, caring, empathetic and understanding siblings and/or parents.

I'm GLAD your sister cares about you... Thinking of you and sending good - and hopefully healing - vibes... Big Hugs X❤X

I found you, and send you a big hug. You are a big girl and will work through this, I know that some things are hard and you feel like just giving up but don't, you will take a great gift away from so many others and the gift is you. I would like to be your friend and just talk about life, that is if you want to.

This is what I believe...when we keep everything in side we have no one to bounce it off of but ourselves and we have no feed back or perspective. The problem or issue or whatever is like a vampire it can only live in the dark but put it in the light it dies! I have learned the hard way that getting help is needed sometimes or we fall in the back hole were it can be almost impossible to escape. And, yes, I'm the one who is usually helping everyone else but sometimes...I need help to!

Hey, it's okay when the student becomes the teacher. Sometimes we need to have what we already know repeated to us 100 times. You know you should speak to someone to release all that pressure. Do it!

I don't think you should be embarrassed! Talking to a psychologist can be helpful for anyone- it does not mean you are not strong or that there is something "wrong with you". We all carry baggage from our families of origin, things we carry on our backs whether we are aware of it or not which color the way we process all our feelings and relationships. Talking to someone professional can help us make some sense of it all and ultimately live with more fulfillment and awareness and less pain and confusion...

I remember being in the same situation , I'm always the supporter. Always the rock also a qualified councillor.
It took me a long time to realise that to be able to help others , you need to give in and accept a listening ear yourself.
I think the fear of being seen as fallible or weak somehow prevented me from seeking help. How would I feel about speaking to a councillor that themselves had a councillor .. Surely it would be better to choose one that never needed help !!!!
In reality , everyone needs a confidante , someone to listen and maybe ask the right question .. We all need that , its what makes us human.
Never be afraid to talk things through with someone . You will akways get a fresh perspective and with that , learning.
You sound a wonderful, kind person. But in order to stay that way , allow those close to help .
Bless you

If you have coverage from insurance or if you can afford it then why not go ahead and try it. Life is rough on a good day. Rougher for some more than others. Sounds like you had a rough ride so far.

Listen to your lil' siter, you're not a baby anymore,it's about time you do something for yourself

We all from time to time due to that thing called life we live we learn and we move on but every now and then we all need help to get to the next phase. Stay strong and move on..

I spent 10 years as a hospice chaplain and realized I need help. 2 sessions a week 2 years later I'm back. GET THE HELP!!!
That is why Eve was created for Adam. Don't try going it alone.
PAX Chim

Even though its not a natural thing, we must learn to listen to those that love and care about us, they usually have our best interest at heart. If she has never offered this kind of advise before then she must really see something you are not seeing in yourself.

At times like you are going through it is always tempting to compare one's situation with that of others. Doing so is always an egocentric exercise. On the one hand one might say something noble sounding like, "There are people who have it much worse." That so often is just an attention seeking device, the ego begging for sympathy. "Look at how stoic I am in the face of my suffering. Please feel sorry for me and pity me." On the other hand it is even more tempting to see our situation as much worse than that of others. It doesn't take a rocket surgeon (pardon a lame attempt to toss in just a bit of levity here) to see what an egocentric exercise that is.
Much to your credit you have done neither. You simply told your story with your characteristic insight, honesty and sense of humor. It was a risk, and it took courage even with the anonymity EP provides. And having read the overwhelmingly positive and supportive responses you've gotten I think most of your readers would agree. In the eleven days since you posted this, an average of over 1,000 people a day have viewed it and an average of over 10 a day have commented. That tells me you have done well by sharing your story and have every right to be gratified by the response.
As a member of your circle of friends I have been following this story closely and am so very pleased for you and proud of you as well. Thumbs up, my friend. Thumbs way up!

It sounds like you played the role of defacto parent to your younger sister, which in and of itself is a bit of a suffocating role to play, and in that role it would be completely understandable that you have feelings of being a bit 'ripped off' from having your own healthy childhood. This would definitely create feelings of resentment towards your sister that maybe you haven't been able to consciously recognize-
As an outsider, maybe your sister is right: she's now pushing you towards your own healing, which will benefit you both now that you're well into adulthood. Working through un-acknowledged feelings can be the most cathartic thing you can do for yourself. It will help remove the weightiness of the role you played for so long. Who knows: maybe you'll head back to school and get that masters in counseling.
It never serves us to wallow in the challenges of the past. With a bit of counseling yourself you might be able to take all of those feelings about not being properly parented yourself and turn them into a gift that helps to heal the lives of countless others, and that would be an incredible thing. There's no teacher like LIFE and rather that feel defeated by it, turn your own hardships into a pathway of liberation for others. Good luck to you-

You're not the only one who need therapy. So go and don't be strong. Life is hard for many people.

Why are you embarassed? You have been so strong for so long, perhaps it is time for you to take a breather and take care of yourself. As women, we are conditioned to take care of everyone else but unless we fill our own "well", it will eventually run dry and there will be nothing left to give. You can tell your sister holds you in very high regard and I believe she now wants to give you the gift of caring. Remember you must be as gracious in accepting gifts as you are in giving them. You have certainly taught your sister well. Good luck and please, don't ever be embarassed in seeking therapy..it's so hollywood and chic (hope that gave you a little laugh!). I sincerely wish you, your sister and family the very best. Sandra

i will pray for you for I oftem find myself in your shoes and talking to someone helps but I have found that writing in a journal at night before relaxing for sleep helps my mind relax as i try to rest. Take care of yourself your sister needs you and she may be the young sister but she was taught how to listen i'm sure by her big sister.

As you know, you can tell a stranger things you'll never tell anyone else. You also know, you can't get better without professional help. You know they will give / suggest different ways to deal with your stress. You need help with these problems. So what's stopping you! Just do it! OR! spend the rest of your life in your own hell.

i have been through the same, take your sisters advice you will feel the difference after one session good luck

Its a good world when you can speak and the world listens. To know someone out there is listening. It is almost god like if you think about it, -- we as a collection of creatures able to connect with one another. It is good to have family who value you, and those you can put value in. History creates great bonds that tie us together, the more have the closer we become as long as those experiences are positive. Small incremental good things. At first, in my life -- say the first 40 years or so, it was all about complicating things, with meaningless confusion. Then going about to unload the burdens and simplify things. Its difficult to do but works wonders. First simple thing was to understand work is not who I am, its not my life or should not be. I found a job, simple and rewarding with few if any stresses other then completion of the work itself. Relationships, I put into them what I expect to get out of them and if I do not then I fix them either by modifying them, or avoiding them. I trust those who trust me, I understand people are never perfect and I either forgive, accept or tolerate. Never do I take anything personal nor do I get emotional, rather I rely on the logic of the situation. If I can not do either of these I forget, I avoid. I have four types of relationships, intimate, friends, family and associates. People can fit into one of these or all four. I never judge them as I never want to be judged. Opinions and helpful criticisms based on facts and the desire to help are always welcome. I have free will and never wish to rob anyone of their free will. I never confuse sex with love and understand one is a requirement for physical and mental health and the other something that comes from deep within that has no rhyme or reason to it. I eat, I sleep, I love and I enjoy myself. Never do I engage in self destructiveness, nor do I wish to harm anyone. My health is critical to me and it simplifies a great many things. I run, I swim, cycle and I go to the gym and I maintain my health. I eat good, nutritious foods and I avoid what is popular, faddish and common, yet I stay simple in all of this. My dogs worship me and I love them for it, they reward me with their loyalty and I give all I can to them. I have the runner, the charmer, the grouchy, the creep and the simple, yes five dogs. The work I do for them is worth every moment.

Anyhow, if you wish, you can have me a friend if you like, feel free, lets work on it. Its not a requirement again, free will.

Please, find a therapist with whom you can share. Your life is like several balls of yarn. All aspects are of different beautiful colors and textures, but some cats have gotten into the basket where the yarn is stored, and they've tangled them all up in knots. You need an extra pair of efficient hands to help restore the threads of your life to good order, without damaging them. Unless you do so, you will be unable to assist others when they are in need. Namaste.

Your sister loves you and cares. In your heart do you think she is right..

Your sis must love you very much to find away to get up the courage to call you and express this to you.

You are very lucky to have a sister who cares about you. And she is very lucky to have you. I have recently started seeing a counsellor after years of running. At times some insights can be painful, but I have found it to be very worthwhile. Healing has begun to take place. I wish you all the best.