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Really Can't Sleep When He Is Snoring

So i have recently just started going out with someone and staying over at there house. We have been together for about 2 months now, and his snoring hasn't bothered me until now. I don't know if it's because he's more comfortable with me, he can just dip into a really deep sleep or i have just noticed it and am now sub conciously obsessing over it.
I am a light sleeper, and it takes me a while to drift off. He however, instantly falls into a deep sleep and starts snoring SOOO loud seconds later. I try not to get angry with him as it's not his fault, but waking up in the morning for work after an hours sleep is really not great. I have tried nudging him, pushing him, different sleeping positions, waking him up - EVERYTHING. Nothing works at all, he just instantly starts snoring again. He has no idea how loud it is, his neighbours would no doubt hear it. He once said "You were snoring once, but i just got on with it" he honestly doesn't realise how bad it is. I have slept on the couch numerous times and tried stuffing my ears with cotton wool. It's driving me CRAZY. I now just don't stay at his which does affect our relationship.
Stefxo Stefxo 18-21, F 54 Responses Feb 2, 2011

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There's a wall between my brothers bedroom and mine but I can still hear it !!

I totally know how you feel! It is a dreadful experience to lay there dog tired, with bloodshot eyes counting down the seconds until you have to get up to meet the job and your day. Embarrassingly, I confess....I can not count the number of times I had hold myself back from just putting a pillow over his head and holding it there with force until the roaring stopped! Now we sleep in separate rooms on separate floor levels of our home.... Sweet silence. Only thing is now I'm nocturnal with insomnia. Oh well, still the silence is sweeter.

I can't either so when my grandma asks to sleep with me I say no because she snores like a pig and its loud

I snore.

It's really hurtful, to think someone could hate you, over something you cannot control.

How can it be selfish, if you don't even know you are doing it.

Really difficult to hear how much others hate this

: (

but obviously you do know your doing it, you just said do. And you can help it, you just choose not to. THere are a number of things you can do, nasal strips, sleep clinic, you just choose not to because you have decided you are more important than your loved ones. You don't care that you torture them with sleep deprivation. Did you know that after three days of sleep deprivation it causes brain damage? Sound important enough now for you to give a **** about someone else??

Oh dear I am the same I snore so much

So my wife & I have been married for 6 years, I have put on weight and the snoring turned into stopping breathing, I sought medical care and was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea.....I had two surgeries to correct the issue but I still snore! I have a CPAP but it doesn't always solve the problem. It sucks not to be able to sleep with her, we tend to go to different rooms to sleep.<br />
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I've tried other "mouth pieces" like "Z Quiet" but those are just gimmicks! I'm so frustrated that we can't sleep together!

Now you are not selfish, you I actually feel for because you have at least tried to do something about it. Have you tried a second or third opinion? Have you considered a weight loss program?

I love my man more if I have had a decent night's sleep. I think sleeping together in the same room is overrated and abnormal.

I totally feel your pain. Your story sounds word for word like my situation with my longtime gf. I found a brand of ear plugs called Mack's EarSeals. They are designed for noise or swimming and they are very effective. They fit into the ear canal and they are small and comfortable enough to be slept in. They only cost a few dollars and a pair lasts me a couple of months. If you use a clock radio, you'll have to crank up the volume, though. Good luck!

Hi,<br />
<br />
Really, it is an unfortunate situation but surely not a grave one. There are many options available in the market, which can resolve the issue, therefore pl. consult a doctor rather than comromising on good relation or having a comfort of sleep together.<br />
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Regards,<br />
<br />
Chetnya

I wonder if sleeping on 'easy chair' prevents snoring.

i feel your pain,that must be really horrible !!! you poor thing!!!<br />
medicate him,find some drops or pills, so you find your peace!<br />
What a horrible guy,snoring!! Its almost as bad as the monthly<br />
bloody period!<br />
should we do something about that too !??<br />
... you asked for the pants to wear,we let you!<br />
... you asked for security,we granted you half of ours!<br />
... you asked for respect and manners,we work hard on it!!<br />
...you asked for a artificial penis,we even bought you one!!<br />
i can go on here ,you get my drift!!<br />
Enjoy the good moments,i know you dont know what they are yet,18-21 ,<br />
you will not find them bitching and demanding ,but by observing and accepting!

I see you've gotten a lot of good advice already... but I will share my personal experience with snoring for you...<br />
<br />
Just so you know, snoring is not "Selfish Behavior"... it is something about which he likely has NO control. My wife and I went through the same thing you are describing, though over a much longer time period. My snoring (according to her) began as light and tolerable. But over the years, I gained weight, and as I did so, the snoring got worse. My wife also noticed that I would actually stop breathing in my sleep (a condition known as Sleep Apnea, and it IS a serious medical condition). You should ask him to see a sleep specialist, who will likely have him go in for an overnight sleep study to diagnose his problem. And if it turns out as it did with me, the doctors will prescribe for him a breathing machine called a CPAP, and he will wear a mask as he sleeps each night, and the machine and the mask will maintain a slightly elevated pressure to kepp his throat from closing down as he sleeps... this should stop both the apnea and the snoring... not only will YOU be much happier, but he will suddenly find he has much more energy and stamina, side effects of the apnea and snoring that he likely didn't even realize he had!

My boyfriend was so distubing sometimes I would either have to get super drunk so I could pass out n get at least 6hrs which I must have 8 then went to couch. Then if didn't drink I would have to poke and turn but he was really bad so just decided not to give him up but just not work so I could sleep all morning but he made me pay for almost everything and this is hard to do without a job. <br />
Sometimes he never snored just when he was up to something evil

My husband's snoring is so bad that our son in the next room can't sleep. We have no medical insurance, so getting doctors help is not a reality atm. He uses breathright strips they help a bit. It has gotten so bad, we moved our bed out to the garage. We can do this because we live in Southern California. Wishing you luck with finding your answer, accept all the help you can get.

Glad I am single and don't have to listen to a partner snore!. Just wondering!, if a light sleeper can sleep with a light on, can a hard sleeper sleep with a ?, [window open 12 inches]?

My now ex used to snore but he was doing it on purpose cuz he is a scary bad man who lies and is mean to the ladies esp me but he is awesome in the beginning and no snoring

just go sleep in a another room lol

I used ear plugs which helps to lessen a good deal the grating sound of snoring,from my partner. If this did;'t work slept in separate bedroom,

I read your story about the snoring problem, and also I read all the helps from different people. It's true it could be caused by sleep apnea and that can be a serious problem apparently could even cause a stroke. If you value your relationship it would behoove you to check out all the things recommended. See a Dr. and get the situation figured out it may be something so simple as he be fitted with a mouthpiece retainer of sorts that would keep his airway open and you would both benefit tremmendously. Good luck.

It's no help to you being as you're just into a new relationship but I've partially solved my prob by moving to another bedroom. It's not completely helped as he snores so loud I can still hear him even tho we are on different floors, but it is now muffled enough that I can (normally) get to sleep myself.<br />
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good Luck to anyone with this prob. I had to resort to this as the lack of my sleep was affecting my health

Please try to understand that he's not snoring on purpose. It's not something you can control, and all you can really do about it is seek medical advice. I used to be a snorer, but didn't realise how loud I was until my partner videoed me one day when I'd fallen asleep on the couch. I used to be tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I got. Sleep studies were inconclusive, but eventually I changed GP's and one of the first things the new doctor noticed was how misshapen my tonsils were. I used to get tonsillitis 2-3 times a year and as a result, the tonsils themselves were no longer functioning properly. I eventually got them out (at the ripe old age of 30) and since then I don't snore (except occasionally, and far more mildly) and I don't get sick much at all. <br />
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In terms of what you can do? Encourage him to seek medical advice - video him if he doesn't believe how bad he is. Sleep in separate beds until the problem is resolved. Try the 3M style earplugs (I find them very good at blocking out noise when I'm travelling). Or move on - sometimes we can't overcome the problems in a relationship.

wow and I thought it was just a girl problem.lol jk If you really love him you will learn to compramize. I relationship is about tolerance. Gee maybe I should do like the others suggest and dump all the ones I love just because they do something I don't like or next time I do something I don't like they may dump me. How shallow.lol

Their isa surgical fix for this problem...... and from what I understand from my brother and his wife it was very sucessful. Have him see an eyes nose and throad specialist..

Some peoples comments on here blew my mind! lol <br />
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My hubby snores. He snored more after gaining a little weight, and its even worse if he has a cold... but sometimes it is not bad at all. <br />
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Obviously there are remedies, and some people need medical help due to their snoring.<br />
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For a simple solution I suggest ear plugs, the soft squishy ones. Also when my hubby has been in a loud sleeping pattern I ask if he could wait to go to sleep for an hour or so, till I am asleep, then crawl in quietly. If I am asleep first I usually get through the night.<br />
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A nice mattress helps too.<br />
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Good luck dear, and remember, if you love him....you can get through this with a happy solution for all...people have been snoring for centuries.

I was the same way I went to my doctor because I was tired all the time.<br />
He sent me to have a sleep study and found I had sleep apnea my doctor put me on oxygen at night to help me get more air. I lost some wight and that has help me I did not think anything was wrong with me when I went but I found out that I could have had a hart attack in my sleep. one more thing I have the best wife in the world she and I have been married for14 years.<br />
I do not think that we would have come this far if I did not go and get some help because she was not getting any rest at all because I would wake her all through the night . Any one that has been married for as long a we have know you have to respect the one you love. sometime we have to try to fix things that is wrong with one of us for the other to enjoy life its called love !<br />
Hope this helps you in some was.

Cut out Dairy for 2 weeks. No coffee late at night. Worked for me and its a very common problem. Lactose intolerants create mucus which causes snoring.

He may or may not have sleep apnea, you should try and figure out if he does. (assuming you care about him and want to keep being with him).<br />
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Sleep apnea is where a person stops breathing for more then 10 seconds while sleeping. Each time you stop breathing for more then 10 seconds, it's considered a apnea event. Less then 5 per hour and they don't even treat it typically. Once you get up towards 10, or 15 apnea events per hour, your into the point where the person really should seek treatment.<br />
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Not all people who snore have sleep apnea. <br />
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The primary treatment for sleep apnea is something called CPAP, where a machine forces air into the person's nose and/or mouth, this inflates the airway and basically will stop the snoring and the apnea events if it all works as desired. Only about 50% of those who are prescribed the CPAP machine will use it over a long time, it's quite hard to get used to for many people. It took me nearly two months to get used to using CPAP, I almost gave up about a month into it. Now that I've gotten used to it, I wouldn't want to sleep without it.<br />
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There are other options that typically don't work as well and are usually used only after CPAP is first tried. There is surgery to try and reduce the size of some tissues in the airways, but this is very invasive and doesn't work for many people. There is some sort of dental mouth piece that pushes the person's lower jaw out, and can help some people, this would likely be tried before surgery.<br />
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Sleep apnea is very hard on your health. It's really hard on your heart. It keeps the person and their partner from getting a good nights sleep. If he stops breathing frequently while he snores and sleeps, you should encourage him to see treatment for this.<br />
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In the USA you need a presc<x>ription for CPAP, in some parts of the world you don't need a presc<x>ription, however it could be VERY tricky to get the air pressure set correctly. Too low it won't stop the apnea events, too high it can actually cause apnea events. This is why you need a Dr's help, or have someone who really knows what the heck they are doing to get things setup correctly. <br />
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Given that it's so hard to get used to CPAP anyway, I don't know how you could possibly get things going correctly without medical help to do it. <br />
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If he's not got sleep apnea, then good luck... loosing weight might help him, maybe one of these dental devices could as well. Personally i'm skeptical of all the other snoring remedies out there.<br />
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Good luck

I am 63 and my husband also snores loudly, but It DOESN'T Bother Me! The secret is attitude. I just think of the sound as a relaxing assurance that he is still there and we both are very comfortable. I lost my first husband, and--believe me--total silence can be worse.<br />
To get to sleep you just focus on how warm and comfortable the bed is and the soft, warm person sleeping beside you, and you can train yourself to ignore the sound, and think of it as "reassuring", in the background, that he is still there.

Uggh this brings back so many dreadful memories<br />
All the sleepis interruptus I endured because the person sleeping<br />
Next to me sounded like a barn animal....my advice is if he doesn't get help, U get out!

In rural areas of my country wives sick of snorer husbands make them have smell of the sole their shoes and snoring stop without making them awake from sleep

guys always snore, i hear my brother in law snore every night i ask my older sister he stop snoring, good thing i move out

I would suggest that you evaluate your long time goals and tolerances. A load snoring person amounts to mental cruelty, and should be forced to have an operation to correct same. If your partner refuses to willingly attempt to correct this problem, I believe you are quite justified in suffocating him while he sleeps. There is another way, leave him before you become more involved.

I am a retired nurse. What the [problem is : people have a epigotis in our throat. The air goes down your throat and the epiglotis vibrates with the air rushing in. This can be fixed. Ask your doctor. He does not have sleep apnea. I know this for a fact.First thing to do is like I did for my wife(45 years of marrage) I purchased a small tape recorder and put it by her ide of the bed. The next morning she heard herslf snore. We went to the doctor. She did not want me to go in with her. She was proud. I dont knw what the doctor said or did. But she has only snored one or twice since. I hope you luck. By the way if you go on to the internet you can look up the mouth and throat and it will show you how everything woprks. Also look up snoring. That will show also...<br />
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I am a retired nurse. what makes all the noise is the epiglotis. When peole breath in this vibrates with the air rushing in.<br />
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i bought a small tape recorder and put it next to her side of the bed and ther next am she heard herself.

OMG!<br />
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I know what you're going though. I wanted to kill my bf because of it and our relationship did suffered. I ended up sleeping in our truck and ended up with really bad sleep deprivation. I was mad and crying all the time and I no idea why until I googled up my symptoms. Now he wears a month piece he ordered. It's called "Pure Sleep". Check it out. It works.<br />
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Trust me I know. <br />
Good luck honey because I really feel your pain.

One more for the home remedy group. I am the snorer and my wife and others say it works. A small fan near the bed. Don't ask me to explain why, I just know I am not being awakened by pinches and pokes anymore.

OK .. AL YOU WHO SNORE. TRY THIS!! BUY [ COLICURSI GENTADEXA] , ITS AN EAR DROP ...BUT PUT SOME DROPS INTO YOUR NOSE... YEAH IT SOUNDS QUITE QUIRKY BUT IT WILL HELP YOU..... I USED TO SNORE.. BUT I AM FINE NOW<br />
<br />
Ps; your doctors will explain to you the relationship btn the breathing and hearing systems.<br />
GOOD LUCK

there's a noisy road in front of my house and I deal with it by stuff my ears with rubber ear plugs . I find that it blocks the noise better than the foam ear plugs.. can also use those for swimming , really blocks out the noise. Try it!

ushud search a new boy freiend

Run away, no relationship is worth sleep deprivation for the foreseeable future. I have this problem with my husband I want to move out.

I totally know what you are going through. My husband does the same thing if he does not sleep with his breathing machine ( I don't know the name of it). After years of complaining he went to the doctor and it turns out that he has sleep apnea. Maybe you should convince your boyfriend to do the same. Also, when he is gaining weight I notice that the snoring gets louder. My best advice is to tell him to go check it out, it could save his life...and make yours a little easier. The only bad aspect of him sleeping with this machine on is that it makes intimacy suck. There is no cuddling, or pillow talk. I am not a cuddler so I don't mind too much but pillow talk and conversation would be nice.

Firstly...... Is he FAT.......sadly fatties tend to snore more than skinnies. I don,t mean just fatties, it also tends to affect big heavily built rugby football (American football without the body armour) playing types too, but you have to stop it or get rid of him or it will make your life miserable. If he denies it then he is compounding his own problem and asks to be single. Sometimes a simple remedy like having the window open at night so he gets fresh air works. It could be worse.... a lot of fatties have gas and body odour problems which manifest themselves at night.

I snore and people seem to think that a person that snores is sleeping very well. NOT. When a person snores they are being deprived of oxygen. They may wake up with headaches, be tired during the day, weight gain, depression, mood swings, and high blood pressure. I would stop breathing over 50 times in one hour, yes I did the sleep study. I had to do it twice, because they were surprised at how many times I would stop breathing and wanted to do the test again. I would wonder why I was always tired, after all I was "sleeping" at night.<br />
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He may have an obstructive disorder and needs to have it check. I was luck to get into a program at my with my dentist office and now sleep with this very attractive dental appliance. It ain't pretty, but it helps. I would strongly advise him to see medical assistance. Personally, I've even tired the OTC remedies, they don't work for everyone.<br />
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I never denied that I snored, hell, I would wake myself up sometimes. But for those that do, record them. Ask them if they are tired during the day or wake up with headaches.

A friendly advice: <br />
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A clove of garlic everyday will solve the problem. Have him chew it while he have his supper. The smell is terrible but it works.

Easy, do not have sex just before you go to sleep, he will not snore then

Before my husband and I married, I never snored. Then we purchased a house and moved to another city, and suddenly I SNORE loud! My husband is a light sleeper so it greatly affected him.<br />
I also instantly fall asleep when my head hits the pillow, so i totally understand where you are coming from with your BF. It took me a long time to realize that my snoring affects him, I was under the impression that if someone really loves you they will tolerate it (my mother taught me these terrible ways of thinking). But my snoring really affected his sleep and I finally understand this now. I recommend that you tape his snoring while asleep and let him hear it (be gentle), this would have helped me understand better, and I would not have gotten so defensive.<br />
Now right before bed, we cuddle for about 30 min to one hour, and the minute I begin to breathe deeply and start falling asleep my husband nudges me and lets me know that I'm about to snore (he already knows my sleep pattern and when I'm about to snore). So I move to the other bed in the guest room.<br />
We no longer fight about it, we used to fight all the time and it was pulling us apart, I did not think that he loved me. But now I know better, and me moving to the other room works for us. I appreciate you posting the comments because I know he loves me and it has nothing to do with him not loving me.<br />
I still keep our situation a secret, most people would never understand. We are going to buy another guest bed, one that supports his back so he can move to the other bed too, and so it won't just be me having to move when I snore.<br />
Hope this helps.

In the "olden days," when people got married before sleeping together, they were stuck with each other, "...for better or worse," etcetera.<br />
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Aren't we so fortunate nowadays to be able to screen out all these "selfish" people who snore, or have other monumental character flaws?<br />
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Yes, I snore to raise the roof. And I expect to die alone.

There is a throat spray on the market , called "Snore Relief". It is made by Breathe Rite and available in drugstores. I've used for a long time and it really works. Take a few spray's into your mouth and that's it! My wife sleeps well now and we're both happy.

i am also a light sleeper and suffer from insomnia too, my boyfriend is a snorer so it doesnt help with someone who is trying to sleep all night.....i totally empathise the problem.<br />
i have found a solution to the problem now, we have seperate bedrooms....its great, when we want a cuddle we are in the same bed but when it comes down to serious business like sleeping, i go back to my own bed.....and if i wake up in the early hours of the mornings....i go back to his bed for a cuddle before i wake to go to work.....

First, I too have a serious snoring problem. I did a sleep study 6 years ago, and discovered I had over 100 incidents where my apnea kicked-in within a 60 minute period of time. The fix . . . . a CPAP Machine. It's done wonders for me, and for my partners. The snoring has ceased, and I don't mind the face mask at night. I get the rest i need, so I'm not sleepy during the day, like I used to be, and 5 hrs is all I need to sleep to be fully rested. I generally only get 4 hours of sleep a night, but it's sufficient for me.<br />
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You will probably have to go with him, and see his general practice doctor to explain what you know of his snoring , and that will get a sleep study referral, but get on it ASAP, so you can get a diagnosis, and a possible cure. He may require surgery to fix the problem, instead of a CPAP. OR he may need medication to decrease the depth of his sleep. You can't know until a sleep study is done. Get on it soon. It'll be worth what you learn now, with both your current relationship and any future relationships, as age and weight play big roles on you and your partner's possible future snoring or not.<br />
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There is no need to be sleeping in different rooms. No need for stuffing cotton in your ears. No need to sleep at another location just because of his snoring.

My husband went through a sleep study and diagnosed with sleep apnea too. He used to Cpap machine for a brief time but found reasons to complain about wearing it. It was annoying for me to constantly have to ask him or remind him to use the machine! Since he is a passive/aggressive with an avoidance disorder, he would put it on in a way that was not at all effective, and the hoses always ended up with tears, holes or some defect. I don't know what was worse, the loud roaring snores or the hurricane like wind gales blowing out of that machine, which by the way is still tucked underneath MY bed and has been for over a year since we can not sleep in the same space anymore. Sweet and golden is the silent night.

Your boyfriend only has sleep apnea if he stops breathing for an extended period - a few seconds to a minute or so. If he snores continuously he does not have sleep apnea. Here in the UK we have snoring clinics provided free under the national health service that Americans so badly misunderstand and misrepresent (it is excellent). Here they induce sleep and monitor your snoring to try to determine what is causing it - there are a variety of causes. There are also a series of treatment options depending on the cause. Not all snoring can be treated successfully. <br />
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Sleep apnea is a serious condition since it can lead to high blood pressure if it goes on long term.<br />
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An alternative is to sleep in separate bedrooms - why not?

I m 61 years old , my wife had simillar problem , tried every thing , only one thing used to work little bit that was for her to sleep on floor without pillow . that was not very nice to do every night , so simply we had slept all along in different rooms , that way I have been spared sleepless nights & she too enjoys her snoring . Sleeping in different rooms does not affect these individuals because they go in to deep sleep in seconds . As of now no proper remedy is there to cure this problem.

my hubby snores,wen telin him abt it,he denies dat n he gets angry tjo......

Oh Sad.<br />
Get some medical help.<br />
If it doesn't work ,change the bed.<br />
If it also failed, change the partner.<br />
Good luck<br />
A Peter <br />
India

Why don't you try telling him to get some of the over the counter snore prevention devices. Or, you can choose to sleep in your own bed. If he is inconsiderate enough to not worry about you not being able to sleep then GET A NEW BOYFRIEND who doesn't snore. Move on! You've only been with him for 2 months and he's already driving you crazy with his selfish behavior. Why stay and continue going crazy from lack of sleep?