Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Really Can't Sleep When He Is Snoring

So i have recently just started going out with someone and staying over at there house. We have been together for about 2 months now, and his snoring hasn't bothered me until now. I don't know if it's because he's more comfortable with me, he can just dip into a really deep sleep or i have just noticed it and am now sub conciously obsessing over it.
I am a light sleeper, and it takes me a while to drift off. He however, instantly falls into a deep sleep and starts snoring SOOO loud seconds later. I try not to get angry with him as it's not his fault, but waking up in the morning for work after an hours sleep is really not great. I have tried nudging him, pushing him, different sleeping positions, waking him up - EVERYTHING. Nothing works at all, he just instantly starts snoring again. He has no idea how loud it is, his neighbours would no doubt hear it. He once said "You were snoring once, but i just got on with it" he honestly doesn't realise how bad it is. I have slept on the couch numerous times and tried stuffing my ears with cotton wool. It's driving me CRAZY. I now just don't stay at his which does affect our relationship.
Stefxo Stefxo 18-21, F 54 Responses Feb 2, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

There's a wall between my brothers bedroom and mine but I can still hear it !!

I totally know how you feel! It is a dreadful experience to lay there dog tired, with bloodshot eyes counting down the seconds until you have to get up to meet the job and your day. Embarrassingly, I confess....I can not count the number of times I had hold myself back from just putting a pillow over his head and holding it there with force until the roaring stopped! Now we sleep in separate rooms on separate floor levels of our home.... Sweet silence. Only thing is now I'm nocturnal with insomnia. Oh well, still the silence is sweeter.

I can't either so when my grandma asks to sleep with me I say no because she snores like a pig and its loud

I snore.

It's really hurtful, to think someone could hate you, over something you cannot control.

How can it be selfish, if you don't even know you are doing it.

Really difficult to hear how much others hate this

: (

but obviously you do know your doing it, you just said do. And you can help it, you just choose not to. THere are a number of things you can do, nasal strips, sleep clinic, you just choose not to because you have decided you are more important than your loved ones. You don't care that you torture them with sleep deprivation. Did you know that after three days of sleep deprivation it causes brain damage? Sound important enough now for you to give a **** about someone else??

Oh dear I am the same I snore so much

So my wife & I have been married for 6 years, I have put on weight and the snoring turned into stopping breathing, I sought medical care and was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea.....I had two surgeries to correct the issue but I still snore! I have a CPAP but it doesn't always solve the problem. It sucks not to be able to sleep with her, we tend to go to different rooms to sleep.<br />
<br />
I've tried other "mouth pieces" like "Z Quiet" but those are just gimmicks! I'm so frustrated that we can't sleep together!

Now you are not selfish, you I actually feel for because you have at least tried to do something about it. Have you tried a second or third opinion? Have you considered a weight loss program?

I love my man more if I have had a decent night's sleep. I think sleeping together in the same room is overrated and abnormal.

I totally feel your pain. Your story sounds word for word like my situation with my longtime gf. I found a brand of ear plugs called Mack's EarSeals. They are designed for noise or swimming and they are very effective. They fit into the ear canal and they are small and comfortable enough to be slept in. They only cost a few dollars and a pair lasts me a couple of months. If you use a clock radio, you'll have to crank up the volume, though. Good luck!

Hi,<br />
<br />
Really, it is an unfortunate situation but surely not a grave one. There are many options available in the market, which can resolve the issue, therefore pl. consult a doctor rather than comromising on good relation or having a comfort of sleep together.<br />
<br />
Regards,<br />
<br />
Chetnya

I wonder if sleeping on 'easy chair' prevents snoring.

i feel your pain,that must be really horrible !!! you poor thing!!!<br />
medicate him,find some drops or pills, so you find your peace!<br />
What a horrible guy,snoring!! Its almost as bad as the monthly<br />
bloody period!<br />
should we do something about that too !??<br />
... you asked for the pants to wear,we let you!<br />
... you asked for security,we granted you half of ours!<br />
... you asked for respect and manners,we work hard on it!!<br />
...you asked for a artificial penis,we even bought you one!!<br />
i can go on here ,you get my drift!!<br />
Enjoy the good moments,i know you dont know what they are yet,18-21 ,<br />
you will not find them bitching and demanding ,but by observing and accepting!

I see you've gotten a lot of good advice already... but I will share my personal experience with snoring for you...<br />
<br />
Just so you know, snoring is not "Selfish Behavior"... it is something about which he likely has NO control. My wife and I went through the same thing you are describing, though over a much longer time period. My snoring (according to her) began as light and tolerable. But over the years, I gained weight, and as I did so, the snoring got worse. My wife also noticed that I would actually stop breathing in my sleep (a condition known as Sleep Apnea, and it IS a serious medical condition). You should ask him to see a sleep specialist, who will likely have him go in for an overnight sleep study to diagnose his problem. And if it turns out as it did with me, the doctors will prescribe for him a breathing machine called a CPAP, and he will wear a mask as he sleeps each night, and the machine and the mask will maintain a slightly elevated pressure to kepp his throat from closing down as he sleeps... this should stop both the apnea and the snoring... not only will YOU be much happier, but he will suddenly find he has much more energy and stamina, side effects of the apnea and snoring that he likely didn't even realize he had!

My boyfriend was so distubing sometimes I would either have to get super drunk so I could pass out n get at least 6hrs which I must have 8 then went to couch. Then if didn't drink I would have to poke and turn but he was really bad so just decided not to give him up but just not work so I could sleep all morning but he made me pay for almost everything and this is hard to do without a job. <br />
Sometimes he never snored just when he was up to something evil

My husband's snoring is so bad that our son in the next room can't sleep. We have no medical insurance, so getting doctors help is not a reality atm. He uses breathright strips they help a bit. It has gotten so bad, we moved our bed out to the garage. We can do this because we live in Southern California. Wishing you luck with finding your answer, accept all the help you can get.

Glad I am single and don't have to listen to a partner snore!. Just wondering!, if a light sleeper can sleep with a light on, can a hard sleeper sleep with a ?, [window open 12 inches]?

My now ex used to snore but he was doing it on purpose cuz he is a scary bad man who lies and is mean to the ladies esp me but he is awesome in the beginning and no snoring

just go sleep in a another room lol

I used ear plugs which helps to lessen a good deal the grating sound of snoring,from my partner. If this did;'t work slept in separate bedroom,

I read your story about the snoring problem, and also I read all the helps from different people. It's true it could be caused by sleep apnea and that can be a serious problem apparently could even cause a stroke. If you value your relationship it would behoove you to check out all the things recommended. See a Dr. and get the situation figured out it may be something so simple as he be fitted with a mouthpiece retainer of sorts that would keep his airway open and you would both benefit tremmendously. Good luck.

It's no help to you being as you're just into a new relationship but I've partially solved my prob by moving to another bedroom. It's not completely helped as he snores so loud I can still hear him even tho we are on different floors, but it is now muffled enough that I can (normally) get to sleep myself.<br />
<br />
good Luck to anyone with this prob. I had to resort to this as the lack of my sleep was affecting my health

Please try to understand that he's not snoring on purpose. It's not something you can control, and all you can really do about it is seek medical advice. I used to be a snorer, but didn't realise how loud I was until my partner videoed me one day when I'd fallen asleep on the couch. I used to be tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I got. Sleep studies were inconclusive, but eventually I changed GP's and one of the first things the new doctor noticed was how misshapen my tonsils were. I used to get tonsillitis 2-3 times a year and as a result, the tonsils themselves were no longer functioning properly. I eventually got them out (at the ripe old age of 30) and since then I don't snore (except occasionally, and far more mildly) and I don't get sick much at all. <br />
<br />
In terms of what you can do? Encourage him to seek medical advice - video him if he doesn't believe how bad he is. Sleep in separate beds until the problem is resolved. Try the 3M style earplugs (I find them very good at blocking out noise when I'm travelling). Or move on - sometimes we can't overcome the problems in a relationship.

wow and I thought it was just a girl problem.lol jk If you really love him you will learn to compramize. I relationship is about tolerance. Gee maybe I should do like the others suggest and dump all the ones I love just because they do something I don't like or next time I do something I don't like they may dump me. How shallow.lol

Their isa surgical fix for this problem...... and from what I understand from my brother and his wife it was very sucessful. Have him see an eyes nose and throad specialist..

Some peoples comments on here blew my mind! lol <br />
<br />
My hubby snores. He snored more after gaining a little weight, and its even worse if he has a cold... but sometimes it is not bad at all. <br />
<br />
Obviously there are remedies, and some people need medical help due to their snoring.<br />
<br />
For a simple solution I suggest ear plugs, the soft squishy ones. Also when my hubby has been in a loud sleeping pattern I ask if he could wait to go to sleep for an hour or so, till I am asleep, then crawl in quietly. If I am asleep first I usually get through the night.<br />
<br />
A nice mattress helps too.<br />
<br />
Good luck dear, and remember, if you love him....you can get through this with a happy solution for all...people have been snoring for centuries.

I was the same way I went to my doctor because I was tired all the time.<br />
He sent me to have a sleep study and found I had sleep apnea my doctor put me on oxygen at night to help me get more air. I lost some wight and that has help me I did not think anything was wrong with me when I went but I found out that I could have had a hart attack in my sleep. one more thing I have the best wife in the world she and I have been married for14 years.<br />
I do not think that we would have come this far if I did not go and get some help because she was not getting any rest at all because I would wake her all through the night . Any one that has been married for as long a we have know you have to respect the one you love. sometime we have to try to fix things that is wrong with one of us for the other to enjoy life its called love !<br />
Hope this helps you in some was.

Cut out Dairy for 2 weeks. No coffee late at night. Worked for me and its a very common problem. Lactose intolerants create mucus which causes snoring.

He may or may not have sleep apnea, you should try and figure out if he does. (assuming you care about him and want to keep being with him).<br />
<br />
Sleep apnea is where a person stops breathing for more then 10 seconds while sleeping. Each time you stop breathing for more then 10 seconds, it's considered a apnea event. Less then 5 per hour and they don't even treat it typically. Once you get up towards 10, or 15 apnea events per hour, your into the point where the person really should seek treatment.<br />
<br />
Not all people who snore have sleep apnea. <br />
<br />
The primary treatment for sleep apnea is something called CPAP, where a machine forces air into the person's nose and/or mouth, this inflates the airway and basically will stop the snoring and the apnea events if it all works as desired. Only about 50% of those who are prescribed the CPAP machine will use it over a long time, it's quite hard to get used to for many people. It took me nearly two months to get used to using CPAP, I almost gave up about a month into it. Now that I've gotten used to it, I wouldn't want to sleep without it.<br />
<br />
There are other options that typically don't work as well and are usually used only after CPAP is first tried. There is surgery to try and reduce the size of some tissues in the airways, but this is very invasive and doesn't work for many people. There is some sort of dental mouth piece that pushes the person's lower jaw out, and can help some people, this would likely be tried before surgery.<br />
<br />
Sleep apnea is very hard on your health. It's really hard on your heart. It keeps the person and their partner from getting a good nights sleep. If he stops breathing frequently while he snores and sleeps, you should encourage him to see treatment for this.<br />
<br />
In the USA you need a presc<x>ription for CPAP, in some parts of the world you don't need a presc<x>ription, however it could be VERY tricky to get the air pressure set correctly. Too low it won't stop the apnea events, too high it can actually cause apnea events. This is why you need a Dr's help, or have someone who really knows what the heck they are doing to get things setup correctly. <br />
<br />
Given that it's so hard to get used to CPAP anyway, I don't know how you could possibly get things going correctly without medical help to do it. <br />
<br />
If he's not got sleep apnea, then good luck... loosing weight might help him, maybe one of these dental devices could as well. Personally i'm skeptical of all the other snoring remedies out there.<br />
<br />
Good luck

I am 63 and my husband also snores loudly, but It DOESN'T Bother Me! The secret is attitude. I just think of the sound as a relaxing assurance that he is still there and we both are very comfortable. I lost my first husband, and--believe me--total silence can be worse.<br />
To get to sleep you just focus on how warm and comfortable the bed is and the soft, warm person sleeping beside you, and you can train yourself to ignore the sound, and think of it as "reassuring", in the background, that he is still there.

Uggh this brings back so many dreadful memories<br />
All the sleepis interruptus I endured because the person sleeping<br />
Next to me sounded like a barn animal....my advice is if he doesn't get help, U get out!

In rural areas of my country wives sick of snorer husbands make them have smell of the sole their shoes and snoring stop without making them awake from sleep