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"I Can't Stand Judgmental People"

I was raised by a very judgmental mother,she had something bad to say about everyone.When you grow up like this,you start acting like this,I was becoming my mom.Once I moved out on my own,I started noticing my friends and how they acted towards other people and well they were a little judgmental but nothing like my mom.Many years down the line I started counseling,I learned even more about not being judgmental,especially with my daughter,who I judged way too much.My mom judged me constantly,I judged my daughter in the same way.But I stopped doing this to my daughter and our relationship improved.If my daughter asks for my advice,I give it to her,otherwise I mind my own business.

Now when mom would come over talking about our family mostly her own sisters or my daughter,I would tell her mom it's really not our place to be judging them.Everyone in this world is different in their own way,we are all individuals.I could tell she didn't like what I had to say,especially when it came to my daughter.My daughter is getting married next year,well here comes mom to tell me to tell my daughter this and that about her wedding.I quickly told her,mom,it's her wedding,I'm not telling her anything,whatever she wants to do,that's her thing.Mom let out a big *SIGH* but didn't say anything else about it.To be honest it makes me feel bad to be like this with my mom but I know it's for the best.It really isn't any of her business,mom thinks it's her place to always get into everyones business.She is the oldest of all of her siblings and still tries to act like big sister,which is ok if it's done in a nice way.She doesn't do it in a nice way,she does it in a rude and bossy way.

I used to hate for my mom to come around me because she would cause me much stress but things have improved with us too.I had to tell her to stop with all her negative comments about me.She doesn't treat my older sisters like this and definitely she never treats our little brother like this.Really just me,my sisters tell me,it's because she's more comfortable and secure around me.Well,I needed less of mom feeling so comfortable around me and I did tell her but in a nice and respectable way,after all,mom is 81 years old.I do love and respect her,I just got tired of hearing her constantly talking about her sisters and my daughter. She still unfortunately talks about her sisters but she has stopped judging my daughter!!!

TexasLily TexasLily 56-60, F 4 Responses Apr 10, 2009

Your Response


Lol,Ladee,actually we are already friends!!

Hello Ladee,thanks for commenting on my story.Yes,funny thing,mom used to say the same thing,if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.She also had another saying,it was in spanish,El burro no se mira,which means the jacka$$ doesn't see itself.While she was always saying that other people judge but can't notice that they themselves are judging but yet she does this all the time,lol!!oh well nobody's perfect.

Hi flourlady thanks for your comments.Well mom is still like this but not with me.I did have to stand up for myself and for my daughter.I'm glad that I did go to counseling,my counselor was an exceptional lady and taught me many positive things.Especially helped my daughter and my relationship,we're closer than ever!!

very nice story my friend. my mom was alot like this and pessimistic. i dont want that for my kids!