50 Things I Hate About Leo Men
Returning for your own masochistic amusement, I see. Well, to all you "Storybook Prince Charming" Leo men out there, this is just a fun little bloggy I wrote ba
1. They are casually sneaky and fail to reveal pertinent information about themselves from the get go. It will serve you well to do your homework, and know his past as boring as it may seem. He'll demonize every woman he's ever been with to ensure the two of you never meet. Gawd forbid you corroborate stories and form an opinion ba
2. Making sure that their needs are met before yours takes precedence over all, much to your detriment. This means either way, you lose.
3. In the beginning, you're going to think you've met the man of your dreams...floating on cloud 9 baby. Guaranteed. You will be flooded with emotions you thought never existed in you. Feelings of love, joy, peace, security and happiness. But the honeymoon doesn't last long. Once they become comfortable in your presence, they will take advantage of you without contributing to your household, leave their dirty clothes at your house for you to wash, inconveniencing your life at every turn...if you allow it.
4. Take the cream of the crop and leave you with the scraps, e.g., use up all the hot water so you get a nice cold shower and leave empty containers of things in your refrigerator that you commonly use without batting an eye or replacing them.
5. They tend to be financially tight-fisted (CHEAP), fiscally irresponsible, and rather selfish! They aren't selfish with themselves though, just you. With that being said, when the ball is in YOUR court, run with it!
6. Extremely disingenuous, even when conveying their deepest emotions to you. It's cute, really. It's as though they are trying to convince themselves that they actually care about you as much as they proclaim. It's my belief that they've ALL all taken theater/drama classes.
7. They never do anything for you without weighing out the benefit they'll stand to gain from it. There is an ulterior motive for most everything they pull out of their ***** regardless of whether it's your idea or his. There is no such thing as "selflessness" with this man.
8. They've also been known to throw little toiletries and things for themselves into YOUR grocery cart and then walk away when it comes time to pay the cashier. So long as you're buying, he'll want the biggest, plushest, fastest, most expensive "WHATEVERTHEFUCK" known to man.
9. So vain. They spend more time in the bathroom primping, plucking and pruning than any woman I've ever known. Behind that closed door they're admiring themselves in the mirror (hide your hair products) or blowing up your crapper so when you go to use it, there won't be any toilet paper left.
10. If they have an animal, they will claim it means 'the world' to him but he does little or nothing to maintain the health and well being of that animal.
11. Their jokes tend to be not funny to anyone but themselves...and it's usually on YOU!
12. They honestly feel they have the authority to dispense advice like skittles when they can barely manage to keep their own **** together. Gawd, can they talk.
13. They tend to be vapid, dry, insipid and ineffectual or be the total opposite bubbly and personable...either way it's a turn-off because its a mask they use to hide their "fundamental freak" within.
14. If you ask them to do something that they don't want to, it becomes a HUGE imposition and they try to play it off as though it isn't but it is SO apparent and they make their displeasure known to you...then they wish to be rewarded for their forced efforts. But goddamit, if they need YOU to be somewhere to do something for them, you better ******* be there!
15. I have found that many Leo men are absolute "Momma's Boys" and will proudly admit it because chances are, they're still living at home : )
16. Few are able to live alone for any substantial amount of time and will cling to any unsuspecting woman who happens to glace in their direction. One lover will never be enough to satisfy this man who constantly looks over the fence and beyond for greener pastures.
17. Uhh...before you hand over your house key, once he's wormed his way into your life BUT GOOD, he will literally "seize" any sense of asylum you've sought to preserve in your humble dwelling. Your sanctuary will become HIS own personal "Extended Stay" hotel. He'll treat your things like ****, use your fine Egyptian linens to wipe his *** and trample over that load of wash you just pulled out of the dryer. After all the cha-ching is gone and they've eaten all your food, ****** your house up, taken a nap and molded permanent sweat impressions into the cushions of your couch...they'll split. You can then plan on spending the remainder of your day (or weekend) disinfecting, washing the funk out of your sheets, scraping toothpaste off the mirrors and wiping up puddles of ****. Cleaning Products...good investment to consider.
18. They have a tendency to be fundamentally unhappy people, but have no problem drowning you in their misery while feeding on your energy until you don't know who the hell you are anymore. Psychic leeches who have no qualms about instantly distancing themselves from you during your time of need. Until you prove to serve a purpose to him, he'll be MIA. If there's nothing in it for him, he's outtie. They fundamentally lack the patience, compassion and empathy required to be supportive during a crisis when it concerns you. Their take on this is, "I don't have time for this ****" or "I can't be around unhappy people" So I suggest you put on your "*******" lipstick and be ready to please him with a gracious smile on your face because that's the ONLY way he wants to see you. **** your crisis.
19. If you have children, whether his or yours from a previous relationship, he will expect you to put his needs first above theirs. What's his, is HIS, and what's yours, is HIS. As fathers, they're either "all over the place" in every aspect of their parenting style, "absent", or a delightful combination of both.
20. Everything is always everybody elses fault and they throw frequent pity parties for themselves so, you better be there with bells on because you'll surely become the ob
21. You will find that your children will probably not like him as he may become verbally abusive towards them when you aren't around. Or if he decides to be so bold, he'll do it while you are standing there.
22. They pay little attention to detail on a personal level and will promptly assign little responsibilities and duties for you to carry out for them. This is partly due to the fact that they spread themselves out so thin, they can hardly keep their crap together.
23. Don't you dare do something that they can bring up and smear your face in at a later date because if you do, you will NEVER hear the end of it!!!!!
24. Nosey fux loving that drama! If you want to know what's going on between "Joe Blow" and "Suzie Cheesecake" on TV or down the street, ask a Leo man. He'll know every dirty detail right down to tiniest bloody skidmark! If there's something going on, e.g., a fight, a riot, a showdown, a hostage situation...these fools are right there in the middle of it filming or taking still shots.
25. While paying little attention to detail on a personal level, they have a tendency to forget important dates...like YOUR birthday. This is especially true if he doesn't really love you. Like most everything, it'll be half-assed. Do question missing articles of clothing, tools and such. This scatterbrain has a habit of leaving his **** at the homes of his concubines. LMAO. Take an inventory if you feel you must. Personally, I wouldn't bother.
26. This man knows how to cook and clean. Don't let him trick you! Because he has YOU to do it for him, he doesn't feel he has the need to do it for himself. This goes for anything you do for him. But by the same token, if you don't do it for him, he'll simply find someone else who will.
27. They have tons of ideas and little projects going on that never seem to come together for them because they lack the self discipline to stay on task. Supreme Procrastinators! They put things off they'll probably never do today, tomorrow, next week, next year...you get the picture. I'm beginning to think they all suffer from ADHD and/or are bi-polar.
28. Addictive personalities. Food, drugs, *******, booze & tattoos. Whatever it may be, they indulge themselves to the extreme. Impulsive, rarely (if ever) taking into consideration how the consequences of their actions effect them, and/or everyone around them. Generally obsessed with sex, addicted to p-o-r-n , down-low kink, and visit rosie palm on a daily basis. In their book, there isn't a problem in the world that a good shagging can't alleviate, and as one I know likes to say, "There isn't anything a little penicillin can't cure". If they're not doing you properly, you can best believe they're doing somebody else.
29. They constantly have to be reassured that they are loved (by you and everyone else in their vicinity) and often insert themselves into every aspect of your life. Inevitably, he will screw up with your family and he shall forever be disliked by them.
30. They emulate their environment in a desperate effort to 'fit in'...sort of the way a chameleon changes color to blend into their surroundings. Must be the center of attention at all times, so get out of the way...you're casting a shadow on his stage.
31. Did I mention they're fn LAZY? Maintaining a Leo is a freaking CHORE!
32. Extremely flirtatious, even while you are standing next to him. They meticulously cultivate their de facto/cyber secret fan clubs (Men and Women) and go to great lengths dangling enchanting seductions, subsequently sending mixed messages to his admirers; Keeping them well within his emotional proximity. With his this being said, their desperately fragile little hearts will hang in HIS balance as they plead for clarification...just the way he likes it.
33. Uh, did you say something? Don't kidd yourself. They don't REALLY care about what you're talking about. They're thinking, "Shut up and take your clothes off already". You could be telling him the most compelling story about something and he'll continue to surf the internet and text people until you shut up. Aww, how sweet. He called you "beautiful" Don't think for a moment you're special. He calls them all "beautiful" so as to avoid confusion with names.
34. Moving on. Everything you're talking about, at any given time, MUST be about him. If you're on the phone and he's in the same room with you, you're obviously talking about him. He'll pester you until you get off the phone and probably interrogate you about who you were on the phone with and what you were talking about (with reference to him)
35. Even when they're having fun, they appear to be miserable, unless they're having sex. Pretty good lovers...sometimes.
36. They're as flaky as pie crust. Like cops, they never seem to be around when you need them most and when they are, they aren't much help to you anyway...lol. Their "maybes" mean NO, and "I'll see you in a few minutes" can potentially be worth a good hour or two. Doesn't matter how long you've been together, (weeks, months, years) he'll make you feel as though you have absolutely no right to ask him where he's been. Think hard.
37. As a courtesy (oxymoron), they may ask you where you would like to go but you'll end up where ever they wanted to be initially, and that's not even certain because they kind of fly by the seat of their pants. The only thing he can plan with certainty, is being late. WTH, as far as he's concerned the party doesn't start until he arrives anyway.
38. The only thing he'll know about you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is your biorhythm. He'll have you clocked within hours, then conveniently skulk away once you start. They're really good at skulking. He doesn't put much effort into your relationship until you decide you've had enough and begin t walk. Then, it's balls to the walls with text messages, phone calls and pleas for forgiveness. On other occasions, as a last resort, I've received flowers, gifts and marriage proposals. If he dumps you, then it's **** You.
39. Cold, heartless bastards who'll ride your coat tails until they're caught with their pants down. Then they become shameless ******* with no remorse. They don't try too hard to impress you because they're pretty sure you've taken as much **** as other ******* have in the past, so why try. In the end, you will have meant absolutely nothing to him as he shuffles on to his next project that he was already prepping. Yea, you'll see his sorry *** in a few days driving down the street with another chick in the passenger side and either pity her (not likely) or sigh in relief!
40. Needy, spoiled, moooooody, self-absorbed, egotistical whiners. Stroke often and repeat! Their pride is at stake...Got me? It's all about them. They may not be your Mr. Right, but they can certainly be your Mr. Right Now. Instant gratification preferred.
41. They are easily bored with repetition/normalcy, which to them, symbolizes a form of imprisonment or stagnancy. They have a difficult time following instructions, maintaining focus and staying the course. Easily distracted by anything "shiny" and "fascinating" **chasing the light on the wall** Must constantly be entertained, amused and stimulated on every possible level. The band comes first baby!
42. They lie about the dumbest **** sometimes. You try your best to sift the truth out of the crap he just told you because buried deep within the catacombs, lies a half-truth. When they aren't purposefully and poorly lying, they're mindlessly omitting critical pieces of information that make their bizarre stories completely logical. A few of the ONLY times you can be guaranteed the truth from a Leo man, is when they're drunk (obnoxious ******* drunks), talking in their sleep or sloppily leaving their cell phones unlocked amidst a drunken stupor :)
43. Expounding on #42, don't try to call him out on his lie because he will surely convince even himself, that what he just told you was the absolute truth. To further insult your intelligence, he will GASLIGHT you into believing that you are bat **** crazy for even entertaining such a concept and whine about how you have such little "TRUST" in him **creeps off to the bathroom with cell phone** Ask him a direct question and he'll undoubtedly play stupid [Huh...what?], quickly change the subject or completely ignore you. Kings of avoidance. It's never a good time to talk about anything remotely important because, well to be completely honest, you really aren't that important sweety. "I can't do this right now", "I don't want to talk about it", "This is too much for me". A stalling tactic. He's hoping this will buy him enough time for you to either forget about it, or for him to come up with something believable.
44. You may receive a sporadic text message or random call whenever it's convenient for him, but GAWD FORBID you don't answer his calls or texts when he's trying to get in contact with you; He'll lose his ******* mind! He may even insist on sniffing you and/or your panties to make sure you haven't been with another man...lol. This is because, since he's out ******* everything under the sun, you must be doing it too. Easily butt hurt (hyper-sensitive) when you aren't at his beck and call 24/7. He'll need to know where you are and what you're doing at all times so he can 'conspire' around your schedule. When you don't hear from him for a while, he's acting out his scheme.
45. Suspicious much? You change one little thing about your normal routine e.g., your parking spot, the placement of your furniture, spice rack arrangement, and he'll flip the **** out! He'll formulate an elaborate scenario in his mind as to why things are the way they appear at that particular moment, and accuse you of being a liar when he confronts you about it and you tell him the truth. Explaining yourself before he has a chance to bring it up only intensifies his suspicions so believe me, don't bother. Yes, he will rummage through all your **** when you aren't looking!
46. Their emotions for you tend to run hot or cold...there is no lukewarm for these guys. One minute they can make you feel like the most beautiful goddess that ever graced the earth and the next, a worthless piece of ****. They tend to suffer from regular bouts of mysterious "confusion" which will call him away from you in every form imaginable. You'll find no solidity here, if that is what you desire.
47. Secretly, they are all insecure to some degree...Body dismorphic issues, alopecia, proportions, low self-esteem and take great comfort and joy in pointing out all of YOUR flaws to make them feel better about their inadequacies as a man. Their pride feeds on your shame, and their followers fuel their egos. His jabs against you will most likely be conveyed in jest, but you know what they say about there being a lot of truth in jest. When he begins to really hit you hard with criticism, he's gearing up for the big break. This, to ensure that he feels justified in leaving you high and dry. Saving his face is more important than you falling with grace.
48. If your Leo man tells you that he loves you within the first week or two of dating, dump him immediately! No conventional self-serving Leo will lay his dignity out on the line in such a short amount of time to tell YOU that he loves you. He's looking for his next bimbo, rebound, meal ticket, past time or FOOL.
49. They aren't prone to commital. Your chances of dying in a plane crash are far greater than getting a proposal out of this guy. One second they're bending over backwards to be at your side and next thing you know, they're running from you. I swear, they get the seven (7) year itch about every three months and you're left in the dark wondering what the hell is going on in their zippy little heads. Wake up honey. It'll come to you.
50. No matter how much you give of your heart, mind, body and soul, forever present will be an element of darkness shrouded by an impenetrable emotional barrier.