A Well-earned Satire

Alright, you know who you are.  Yes, you, the guy with the mid-nineties sports sedan and the obscenely loud muffler.  It’s not impressive.  It’s really not cool at all.  In fact, the only things it is are annoying and slightly pathetic.

Let’s be honest.  Nobody believes that beneath that rusty and out-dated exterior there lurks a super-fast, high performance machine.  Even if you paint on stripes, and wear your favorite sunglasses, your 1997 Ford Probe is not effectively disguised as a new Jaguar XJ220.  People don’t mistake you for a wealthy and famous somebody.  You just look like an attention-hungry wannabe.  When people hear you drive by, your strident muffler roaring, they don’t usually think: “Wow, that must be a race car!”  Most people think something more like: “Wow, that engine needs some serious work.”

The worst part about all of this is that people pay good money to have their cars sound this terrible.  And for what?  So that Bubba Joe in the trailer park thinks you have the world’s coolest ride?  I mean, really, think about it…  You’re turning yourself into a spectacle so that other shallow people will like you– or at least think your cool enough that they pretend to like you.  That’s truly sad, and it’s a poor reason to annoy the rest of us.
So please, please, spare us all the grating racket of your car.  Just go buy a T-shirt that reads: “I am controlled by the opinions of others,” or get “Follower” tattooed across your forehead.  There are so many quieter ways to display your lack of individuality.
WildMagic WildMagic
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 14, 2010

My 1990 ford pickup has glass pack's under her but the are not overly loud and I like the way it sound's. I did it for me and young and old have told me they like the sound. It's a guy thing that most women dont understand. My Best.