My Lovely Co-workers

I have nicknamed a lot of them for my own amusement simply because if I don't laugh at them, they will definitely drive me crazy.

First there is "Ralphie".  I call her Ralphie because she reminds me of the Ralphie-character on The Simpsons, the one that says random stuff out of the blue and looks at you like that golden nugget of nonsense was really apart of the conversation.  For instance, me and another co-worker were talking about dresses, and Ralphie walks up and, without trying to find out what we were talking about, says, "I waxed my roommate's legs last night."  That gem left my other co-worker and I dumbfounded.  Then my other co-worker made the mistake of asking Ralphie where that statement came from, which led to a 2 or 3 minute one-sided conversation that in no way answered the question.

Then there is "Pheobe".  This comes from the cartoon "Hey, Arnold" because Pheobe always wears skirts.  Nothing wrong with that if the skirts matched anything else she wears.  She mis-matches her clothing on purpose, which can be cute if done carefully, but it's never cute the way Pheobe does it.  Pheobe is jealous of another co-worker (nicknamed "Whitley") because "Whitley" is about to get married and is planning this big-fat wedding in the next couple months.  Pheobe tries to play like she's the girl who doesn't want to get married and doesn't care if it happens, but she constantly rolls her eyes or has something sarcastic to say when Pheobe talks about her wedding plans.  And all of a sudden, the geek she has forever called her boyfriend is now her fiance ever since "Whitley" set her wedding date.  She so desperately wants the big diamond solitare on her left finger and the big white dress but doesn't want to admit it.  Pheobe is also that girl who pretends she doesn't know how to do anything so that someone else can do it.  She constantly asks me about the simplest stuff and the answer is some times buried into her own question.  Today she asked me if I wanted to ask an applicant some questions.  This is something she has been trained to do and I was working on something else, so I asked her what would she do if I wasn't there.  She said she would ask her the questions herself.  So then I replied, so why do I have to come out there and talk to her if you know how?  I mean, take some responsibility for your position already.

Then Whitley is someone who, when you meet her at first, you would think she's got her stuff together.  She got her name because she's similar to the Whitley character on "A Different World," that spin-off from the Cosby Show.  She's the girl who was spoiled rotten by her parents, but because her parents are paying for her wedding and no longer give her money to shop, she has an attitude.  And she definitely is jealous of Pheobe because Pheobe's boyfriend/fiance's parents have money which allows her to spend damn-near her entire pay check on clothing and shoes and $20 meals for lunch each and every day.  Whitley use to be able to do the exact same thing up until her guy and her set a date and started making solid wedding plans.  Now that her parents are purchasing $5,000 wedding gowns and paying for relatives to fly into town for the wedding (among every other expense associated with weddings), she consistently complains about the money Pheobe spends... like it's her own money that Pheobe is spending.  On top of that, Whitley complains about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.  For instance, if it's raining outside she complains about how wet she'll get trying to walk to her car from the rain.  If it's sunny outside, she complains about how she might break a sweat walking to her car from the heat.  If another manager pops up on her to check her work, she complains about the manager coming around too much.  If the manager doesn't show up for a week or so, she complains about how the manager is "never" around. 

Those are the most drastic and dealing with these personalities is so annoying a lot of the times.  My sister thinks I should write a book about these people's antics and I think she's right.

QueenD QueenD
31-35, F
38 Responses Jun 21, 2008

this is so "female".. and as another poster stated? you probably smile at these people - even though you "can't stand them".. wow.. too much tv., and i wonder - has it ever occurred to you that they can't stand you either?

I'm in a big organisation and I've only had a couple of jobs, so I'm not sure if it's badly run or if I have unrealistic standards. Things seem to change every other week and no-one seems to know what's going on. At least at junior level (like me). You'll have heard a rumour long before anyone tells you anything for certain. Most people seem very calm about it, though, as if it doesn't bother them. I wonder if they go for target practice when they get home or something to get rid of the aggression! To be continued . . .

I enjoyed reading this very much, made me realize I'm not the only person who has to work with crazy people! :D Sometimes I feel like I should write a book about my insane coworkers as well, but instead settled for a blog. You could try that too. I'd definitely read it!!

LOL, and here i thought i was the only one that gave their coworkers nicknames. nice to know i don't suffer alone.

OMG ... I have also given names to my co-workers. We have a girl that dresses like a guy and what the worst thing about it - she dresses so cheap. I mean if I chose to dress like a guy I would take advantage that guys get away wearing the same piece of clothes over and over again thus I would buy more expensive garments. She is also totally useless and pretends to be sick all the time to attract attention to herself.

Most people at my college just talk about either how tired they are or how they want to go home they are he most boring dull people in the world

Which one complains about her weight constantly? Hmmmm... Whitley???.<br />
This was too funny.

I feel sorry for you.

Sounds like you have nothing else to do!.<br />
You'd better find how to make yourself busy instead of watching and describing someones behavior.

That's just dumb. I think you watch way too much tv. Also, you are way too critical of your co-workers. I bet you act lik you are best buddies with them even though you are bashing them. You are too much of a busybody and you need to get your own damn life. I would never want someone like you for a friend. I've known too many people like you and it's just sad. And everyone wonders why the whole world is jacked up!

Very good, I di write a book and it is entitled, Temp Tales An Expose' it is available at Amazon..I totally undersand all of these people. Wish I didn't.

Hehehehe!!!! This is funny!!!!<br />
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Better than a book write a sit-com so you can quit this job!<br />
But where is the description of the annoying version of yourself? If you find a lot of people annoying you are probably also annoying to a lot of them (wrong chemistry, etc).

I could not stand most of the people I work with either. I even wrote a book about them, Temp Tales. Which is available a Amazon and on Barnes and Nobel. They live forever with all their foul deeds exposed.

I worked at a place with such characters and really considered writing a book too. Such scenarios are common among the less educated workforce. They have nothing actually important going on so they dwell on small things and those small things become their obsessions. They are a particular class of zombies.

Interesting story but it was way too long, think about it, in most jobs there is always drama regardless people are never happy, so we all have to learn how to deal with it, where I work there is so much drama, that we call it the elementary school, sometimes I don't want to even look at their faces but I got to see them every morning and then I realize that they are people like me who want to make a living! gossip is like everywhere, women are ******* and man are annoying but most of us get married and have kids and we learn to live with them because the reality is this world is not perfect.

I enjoyed your story! Better to let it out here than to get angry and go nuts!<br />
My advice to you is to treat work people as professionals and don't get personal with them and reveal a lot about yourself. I know this is hard, but you will eventually come up against some really brutal personalities who use your info against you, like I did. <br />
And get some earphones if you can :-)

I definitely feel ya. It can be very difficult to work with people like that and I have to admit that I don't always do a good job at that. The only advice I can give you is to try to ignore them as best as you can. You're there to work and not be annoyed by everyone.

I LOVE this!! I have one to add...jellyfish. My boss is a jellyfish. Tough as nails until it comes time to confront someone about something around here. Great write.

I LOVE this!! I have one to add...jellyfish. My boss is a jellyfish. Tough as nails until it comes time to confront someone about something around here. Great write.

This is such a great post. I love the categories you put them in. It's so true.<br />
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I say, quit. Never get complacent about your job, always look for better things.<br />
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Also, I sort of don't like it when people say "you should write a book". There are more than enough uninspired books out there. This kind of statement sounds stupid because a book has to be written by someone who is absolutely compelled to write one, and a good one too.<br />
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It reminds me of when people say "Omg, you're really smart." Which is the first thing you should say if you want to prove that you're an idiot.

Oh dear Lord that was a funny rant. I have not worked in a coupla months (been dealing with family s*it) and I miss working just for the characters. Of course, once I find a job, I'll miss unemployment because of said characters. I agree you could write a book.

haha that's funny- I think I'll write a story about my own co-workers!

I agree - great story!

Thanks everyone for your comments. <br />
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I am just now able to log on because I was out of electricity because of Hurricane Ike but I'm here now. <br />
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I do still work with these people. I was looking for something else, then decided I would become self-employed, so I'm working on that instead. <br />
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Writing a book doesn't sound like a bad idea. I get more and more material with every day. <br />
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And I wrote this story as a way to (1) get it off my chest, and (2) to be funny! Isn't that what this site is all about?

hahaha SO entertaining! i think you should write a spin off of the office.......not really, write a book. i would buy it!

Your post is hysterical! I have a 'orthorexic' /food nazi on my hands who randomly IM's me fitness tips out of the blue.<br />
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Like yesterday I was minding my own business and I get an IM that says "Suck in your stomach for 20 seconds'<br />
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I'm like WtF? Where did that come from? lol<br />
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She's a total freak!

write a book!

I don't at all think your story was "boring"; it's just the amusing sort of thing perfect to start my day! Maybe a book telling your side of the story would be a wonderful idea. In a situation like yours, maybe it might be a good idea to "not hear" any of the complaining. Pay no attention, act as though the (Whitley or Pheobe?) are not there when they begin their ramblings. I think they are USING you because they are either too immature or too ignorant to deal with their own lives. Look at it this way, you'll be doing THEM a favor by not being their enabler, they'll either need to deal with their own lives or find someone else. Of course, the issue might have more to do with their own poor self-image problems but that's something entirely different. In the meantime, write that book!

I was actually going to comment on that, Sniffer, until I read your profile. Now I feel too sorry for you.. hope life will look up for you soon! And I mean that.

And then there's you the one who writes this drivel down and posts it on the net... Boring!!

Sounds familiar! I myself have to deal with bad examples of laziness on the workfloor, sudden attacks of vanity, the need to blame others where the job just didn't get done - and what to think of that woman who shouts and pounds her keyboard to the point of malfunction when the 'o' gets stuck! Unfortunately, for all those examples, there is only one responsible: myself! I am selfemployed... ;-)

Working on that right now...


I could go on and on about those characters on my job. All of them give me something each time I work with them... never fails.

Great story, QueenD, I wish I worked where you did, you and I would have a hard laugh about everybody at your job. Great job putting them in the catagories you did, too because I know exactly what characters you're talking about.