My Lovely Co-workers
I have nicknamed a lot of them for my own amusement simply because if I don't laugh at them, they will definitely drive me crazy.
First there is "Ralphie". I call her Ralphie because she reminds me of the Ralphie-character on The Simpsons, the one that says random stuff out of the blue and looks at you like that golden nugget of nonsense was really apart of the conversation. For instance, me and another co-worker were talking about dresses, and Ralphie walks up and, without trying to find out what we were talking about, says, "I waxed my roommate's legs last night." That gem left my other co-worker and I dumbfounded. Then my other co-worker made the mistake of asking Ralphie where that statement came from, which led to a 2 or 3 minute one-sided conversation that in no way answered the question.
Then there is "Pheobe". This comes from the cartoon "Hey, Arnold" because Pheobe always wears skirts. Nothing wrong with that if the skirts matched anything else she wears. She mis-matches her clothing on purpose, which can be cute if done carefully, but it's never cute the way Pheobe does it. Pheobe is jealous of another co-worker (nicknamed "Whitley") because "Whitley" is about to get married and is planning this big-fat wedding in the next couple months. Pheobe tries to play like she's the girl who doesn't want to get married and doesn't care if it happens, but she constantly rolls her eyes or has something sarcastic to say when Pheobe talks about her wedding plans. And all of a sudden, the geek she has forever called her boyfriend is now her fiance ever since "Whitley" set her wedding date. She so desperately wants the big diamond solitare on her left finger and the big white dress but doesn't want to admit it. Pheobe is also that girl who pretends she doesn't know how to do anything so that someone else can do it. She constantly asks me about the simplest stuff and the answer is some times buried into her own question. Today she asked me if I wanted to ask an applicant some questions. This is something she has been trained to do and I was working on something else, so I asked her what would she do if I wasn't there. She said she would ask her the questions herself. So then I replied, so why do I have to come out there and talk to her if you know how? I mean, take some responsibility for your position already.
Then Whitley is someone who, when you meet her at first, you would think she's got her stuff together. She got her name because she's similar to the Whitley character on "A Different World," that spin-off from the Cosby Show. She's the girl who was spoiled rotten by her parents, but because her parents are paying for her wedding and no longer give her money to shop, she has an attitude. And she definitely is jealous of Pheobe because Pheobe's boyfriend/fiance's parents have money which allows her to spend damn-near her entire pay check on clothing and shoes and $20 meals for lunch each and every day. Whitley use to be able to do the exact same thing up until her guy and her set a date and started making solid wedding plans. Now that her parents are purchasing $5,000 wedding gowns and paying for relatives to fly into town for the wedding (among every other expense associated with weddings), she consistently complains about the money Pheobe spends... like it's her own money that Pheobe is spending. On top of that, Whitley complains about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. For instance, if it's raining outside she complains about how wet she'll get trying to walk to her car from the rain. If it's sunny outside, she complains about how she might break a sweat walking to her car from the heat. If another manager pops up on her to check her work, she complains about the manager coming around too much. If the manager doesn't show up for a week or so, she complains about how the manager is "never" around.
Those are the most drastic and dealing with these personalities is so annoying a lot of the times. My sister thinks I should write a book about these people's antics and I think she's right.