I Cant Stand My Boyfriend's Brother, What Should I Do?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and we live together and we get along great and love each other very much but the problem is his younger brother. He is extremely self centered and really just a complete loser. He lives alone in their moms garage which is right outside their moms house so he uses the restroom in her house and the kitchen is available to him as is everything else in the house, the garage is just the place he uses for sleep and playing on his computer.
My real first impression of him was last summer, he was going on a trip out of the country with his friends late in the summer. That summer me and my boyfriend were moving into the apartment he was living in, their mom and her husband own the apartment and they were "kicking" the brother out because he couldn't pay rent and offering him to stay at their place instead since he couldn't pay the rent cause he didn't have a job anymore, he got fired, so we were moving in because we were able to pay rent.  We had planned to move in when he was away on his trip so we asked him to clean up after him and pack his stuff and move it to the garage before he would leave.
We drove him to the airport and i was getting very excited on our way back because i was about to see the apartment for the very first time before moving in. When i walked in i was soooo disgusted, he left the place looking like a DUMP...there was old food on the floors, trash and clothes everywhere i looked, the kitchen was horrible, ohh it was a complete mess, i have NEVER EVER seen so much dirt, dust and trash in one place, we had to leave all of the windows open for days cause the smell was unbearable. He hadn't packed or cleaned or done anything to prepare the move. I was sooo mad and disappointed, i couldn't believe that he would do this to us, we had done so much to help him specially after he lost his job, helped him out with money(even if we couldn't afford it) among'st other things.
We now had to clean all the mess which was a nightmare and it took as about a week cause we were working all day and we also had to move his stuff to the garage and set that up. When he came back from his trip my boyfriend had told him how furious i was when i saw the apartment and expected him to apologize but his only reaction or answer was to laugh in my face, my blood boiled at that moment.
When we were driving home from the airport we were expecting to drive him to the garage but he asked if he could stay in the apartment just one more night and my boyfriend said yes. He ended up staying there for almost 3 weeks until we had to KICK him out cause my school had started and we had to return the studio apartment we were renting in 2 days.
Our plans were to paint and fix some stuff in the apartment but since the "delay" none of that stuff could be done since my boyfriend was working all day and i was in school and when i wasn't in school i was working.
Since all this happened he has been an even more HUGE pain in the ***.
Me and my boyfriend ended up helping him get a job at our workplace cause he was basically living off us and instead of actually going to work and earn money he apparently decided it was a better idea to be stoned and play computer games all night and call in sick.
After a while my boyfriend changed jobs because he was able to get more money and better work hours at another workplace, shortly after his brother followed him there cause obviously he cant do anything without my boyfriend.
Even though they are working together every day all day, he calls non stop in the evening after work, wondering what we are going to have for dinner and if he can come and eat with us(makes us pay so he can save money) and if my boyfriend can come over and keep him company and play computer games. My boyfriend is very frustrated cause he wants to spend as much time as he can with me but he also wants to make time for his family and his brother is simply just not willing to cooperate.
This is getting so extremely annoying that i feel like i'm going to loose my mind, we don't get any privacy from him at all...his behavior is close to being harassment. At times i think that he is just behaving this way to cause us to fight and he is probably hoping that the fights will ultimately end our relationship. I could go on and on and on about how he has behaved.
We are so in love and make each other very happy and we have a great relationship, the only problem is his brother.

please what should i do?
esteel esteel
5 Responses Jun 8, 2012

Let me link you up with a friend of mine. He's the Human Resources Manager to an oil firm. He can help you get a sales job with the company, at least you could e making up to $12k. I don't think you will need much experience to do this job. Contact him with an application for a sales job in his company. I'm sure he can help you. Just write him an email at: agipoilcoy1@aol.com . I wish you well my friend. Just take life easy, okay?

If you are planning long term relationship with this BF of yours I strongly suggest you talk to him right now about this. If you eventually evolve into a more serious relationship, this type of behaviour from your possible BIL will NOT DISSAPEAR. If anything, it will get worse. So, state the limits and in a lovely way try to tell your BF that you would like some alone time with him, or make plans with him like taking him unexpectedly to the movies or window shopping....ice skating even! show him how fun is for you guys to be a couple without a third wheel

As I have previously stated in other threads, you'll have to outsmart him.

Move away from you boyfriend's family into an apartment away from his childhood home. Maybe some distance might help.

Welcome to my world...... Your BF's parents should have compensated you and you BF for the clean up. Sounds like your BF needs to lay down some boundaries about the brother. Prepare to remain frustrated if he doesn't. <br />