I Just Need To Let It Out

I don't usually tell anyone anything. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to at all. I definitely won't talk to my parents because they don't seem to care enough, and that's the problem. My dad is a complete jerk and I don't know why my mom ever married him. He constantly talks crap about her (and us) behind our backs and always, just somehow pushes the blame onto us.
He's a complete narcissist and doesn't give a crap about anyone else and acts like a douche.
After he yells at me for absolutely no reason, he is oblivious and offended as to why I am always pissed around him. My mom always says to be nice him when he's being nice, but I don't see a point in that when he has never apologized for past abuse and will randomly throw a tantrum again.
He's extremely volitile, if you don't act like a slave to him, then he throws a tantrum like a 5 year old, he usually acts like a petty one. I can't count the amount of times that he has yelled and blamed my mom for things that were not her fault at all, or for completely irrelevant things like putting vitamins in a different drawer.
I'm in constant fear that he'll start screaming at me and eventually hit me. The best days I have is when he's gone out of country on a business trip, where he's completely out of my everyday life.
There's more I would like to say, but this is it for now.
pathetictroll pathetictroll
13-15, F
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

geez, i always knew that other people had it just as bad or worse than I did with my own parents but just letting you know you're not alone. I've let their treatment and communication methods get to me and I think it's screwed up a few things in my life. please don't let it get to you. realize it's your parents' problem and not everything is your fault. hang around kind and patient people to get the good influence you need at an early age. best of luck

I've dealt with my dad screaming all my life. It has made me emotionally withdrawn to people. I'm also afraid that I am developing his style of communication..........it scares me so much.