I Can't Stand My Mother.

I remember when I was a little girl, I told my mother I didn't like my grandmother from my father's side, and she sat me down and told me this: You shouldn't dislike her, when I found out I was pregnant with you, I was on my way out to get an abortion, she's the one who stood in front of the door and not letting me go. Yes, she saved your life.
As I grew older, my parents split, and she worked a lot to provide for the family, so I was raised by my granny. I understand she's got huge responsibility, and was often stressed out, but she'd find something to yell at me about, and most of the time lead to huge beating.
She would tell me she didn't want me, or I'm "as stupid as a pig", even when I had an improvement of my grades, she would say "You could do better". She had tried to kill herself twice, the second time messed up her hip and kidney(by taking half a bottle of sleeping aid), so she had an operation for her hip joint not long after that. I remember she had an allergy reaction from the stitches, and had to get them removed, she had a large wound and needed to be cleaned everyday, so here I was, at age 10, had to change her dressings for her; one time I didn't want to because it was really graphic, she beat me with her walker, and grabbed my favorite toy at the time, just torn it to pieces.
Now I'm 9 months pregnant. she's trying to tell me what to do, she doesn't believe her informations are completely outdated, and keeps feeding me false informations. I asked her why she didn't breast feed me an my sister, she said because she has a fever, so i asked her what kind, she told me: you didn't know how hard it was for me, my breasts were so engorged I had to have them iced down. I still wasn't satisfied with the answer, so I pursuit to ask more, then she said :I don't think i want to talk about this any more. there are more where it came from.
yeah, I hate her. A LOT.
karen0917 karen0917
26-30, F
Jul 19, 2010