My Sil Is Her Own #1 Fan

I have been with my husband for about 15 years, and from day 1 I have not been able to stomach my sil. She is well into her 30s and still lives with her parents works part time (funny though how she can always afford new clothes). Her favorite topic of conversation is herself. Specifically how many guys are just in love with her. She dumps any guy that is nice to her and only wants guys with a lot of money. She is pretty, but not as pretty as the 20 year old that the guy with money always wants. We had a baby a few months ago, and she is always on me about what I should be doing with my son, or what I'm not doing with him. I really just want to tell her that aunts have zero rights, and that I wish she would move far away. I feel like we are always competing and I don't want to play anymore. I want to tell her that she's a loser with no credibility. She has no right to judge me considering her situation. She is just not accountable. The as thing is that even though she doesn't work for anything, she always gets what she wants.
I can't confront her bc my husband would get upset. It just annoys me just to see her.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I feel your pain, I too am having SIL issues and I just don't know what to do about it. To give you a little history my life was great for many years because all of our in laws live several states away. But then a little over a year ago my husband sister was having issues and he brought her here to live with us so she could try to get her life in order. I was VERY tolerant for several months(at least 5 months) and tried to let her work out things on her own - even tried to find free or low cost counseling for her, but she wasn't having anything to do with it. After about 5 months I was fed up watching her sleep all day in my house while staying up all night drinking. Sometimes she'd go out, but most of the time she would stay home. She has not had a job in over 3 years, and makes no effort to look for one - I can count on one hand how many times I saw her actually look for a job in the year she lived with us. The drinking is what really took a toll on me as her and my husband are both alcoholics and they really enabled each other while she was living here. It was so bad that I was pretty much 1 phone call away from getting a divorce. We have 3 kids under 10 and I was NOT going to let alcohol ruin their innocent lives. She has manipulated our friends and has ruined relationships between us and friends that we used to be very close with, not to mention put a huge strain on my husband and I's relationship. My last straw with both of them was when I caught them drinking and driving with all 3 of the kids in the car. While I'm livid with her, my first priority was dealing with my husband. Thankfully I think that was what they call rock bottom for my husband and he is getting treatment and has come to the realization that he can't handle alcohol and will no longer drink. So far so good with him, although that road will always be a long one. So now at this point I'm trying to get our family back to the happy normal family that we were before she arrived. I have sent her a letter explaining why I don't trust her and why I will not allow her to be alone with the kids, but what is driving me crazy now is she wants to hang out with us ALL the time. If we have plans with our friends she wants to tag along. I stand the sight of her right now and I don't want to be in a bad mood every time I want to hang out with my friends just because she is there. My friends don't really care for her either because they too have learned of her manipulative ways, but she just doesn't get it. I'm generally a very polite person, so I'm trying to find a polite way to tell her these are our friends not hers and I don't want her leeching off my life. In fact I really don't want to see her at all. Any tips on how you would say it? Although I'm polite I can have a temper too so I'm afraid that's what's going to come out of me. What I've told you above is just the tip of the iceberg with her...I have witnessed things that put some of the stories on Days of Our Lives to shame! My husband completely understands that her behavior has been disruptive/destructive so he won't care when I confront her...but I'm just like you, I can't stand the sight of her right now.

My SIL is exactly the same! She's not as successful love-wise but the rest is pretty much the same. She thought about moving out but her parents want her to save money and are so used to having her that they refused and she agreed. Whenever we meet, regardless of the topic of conversation, she's able to bring it back to her. "When I was in Washington/Aruba..." "In Rome..." "It's just like that time in Scotland" Many times it's unnecessary or even unrelated but who cares? She should not be denied freedom of speech. I also feel at times that we're competing and I'm tired of it. We do not have kids yet but I really worry about what'll happen when we do or if I finally blow up.