I'm Not Joining The Contest!

A typical morning for me goes something like this:

6.20 am: (noise from toddlers bedroom) Bang bang bang "Ayyyyan!!!!! Wayyke Uppp!!! Wayyke upp..... Me pooed!". I groan and fall out of bed. Hunt for Pajamas on the floor. Open bedroom door. Gasp in shock at just how bad the Smell of poo is. Make mental note to self; Do not give him lasagna, ever again....

Holding breath, I peel off the disgusting nappy and with one hand whilst at the same time, attempting to reach a nappy bag and manhandle toddler into the shower, before he leaves thoughtful hand prints over the entire bathroom. How is it possible that somebody so small and cute can produce so large an amount of such a noxious substance?

6.35: Chase wet toddler around and in and out of all the bedrooms and then abandon damp towel on the landing. Attempt to stop him from jumping on the bed. Warn toddler that if he keeps jumping on the bed he will probably hurt himself. Cuddle toddler who is now crying uncontrollably as he has banged his knee against the wall.

6.50: Battle of wills commences as he doesn't want to get dressed! Warn him that he will sit on the naughty spot if he doesn't let me dress him. Time naughty spot whilst ignoring screaming toddler.

7.00: Successfully manage to dress toddler and ask him to play nicely whilst I help his brother.

Discover that four year old has got every single toy out and has them scattered all over his bedroom floor. Am presented with a broken toy. "He did it!" "Don't lie to me" I say  "...and tidy up this mess!"  I'm feeling stressed now and it is only 7.20 in the morning!

Finally I manage to get a shower and congratulate myself because I managed to put on some moisturizing cream, perfume and lipstick this morning. The joy is short lived because the kids are in the lounge arguing over who's turn it is to play with which toy. The war continues in the kitchen because we are out of Cheerios and they have to have toast... "I don't want toast! I want Cheerios!"

8.30 am: Finally leave the house and walk to the nursery. If I didn't feel inferior before, I certainly do now.....

Yummy mummies are chatting in a group with their perfect toddlers in perfect pushchairs. They are all perfectly dressed like Barbie dolls with expensive jewelery,  immaculate hair, makeup and manicured nails. They are showing off their new designer changing bag or the latest addition to their shoe collection. I had tried to be friends with them but have since just given up because I'm not perfect enough! I look in their direction and smile, wondering if they also had a morning like I've just had. Looking at them I guess not.

Do I feel jealous? Maybe. It certainly takes a lot of determination and organisation to consistently carry out that kind of perfectness. Those are qualities I wish I had a bit more of but actually, I feel sorry for them as well as their kids. They have such high standards and an inability to accept failure of any sort. The pressure they are under must be enormous and I am really glad I'm not competing.

My kids have clothes that are presentable but which they can get messed up and it isn't the end of the world. It's ok if they get a grass stain or jump in a muddy puddle. They might not be perfect but I love them and they are happy - well, most of the time (unless we ran out of Cheerios!)

Raising kids is really rewarding but it is also really hard. If my morning is typical, it is fraught with challenges every step of the way. I really don't see why anyone needs to make it harder. I haven't got that much time, energy or the inclination to be that perfect and you just have to take us as we are. If that's not good enough, Tough. No baby ever died because they were not wearing a fair trade, unbleached, organic cotton sleep suit!

Update December 2011

Awwww..... Guess what? I survived toddlerdom! There is light at the end of the tunnel. They are both at school now and I am a yummy mummy after all! Just a crazy one it seems, we fostered a baby who is edging his way to toddlerdom at an alarming speed, but hey, I survived this, so bring it on!!  :o)








RobertaSunset RobertaSunset
36-40, F
2 Responses Mar 13, 2010

Maybe I'm ok then :o)

Lol! The bedhead look is cool! What am I going to do when that goes out of fashion though?? ;oD